My Brother's Keeper

Chapter 31: Game Time

"How's everything going for you so far, Dylan?"

"Pretty good, I haven't had any urges to go out and get drunk and do drugs, now all I want to do is go workout and come home to Mia and have fun with Devin."

"Do you enjoy being a father?"

Dylan smiled, "I do, it's the second greatest joy in my life right now, the first would be football but if I didn't play anymore then that would be alright with me, as long as I'll have Mia, Devin and the new baby on the way."

"Do you and Jamia know the gender?"

"Not yet, but whatever it is I'll accept it and be the best father ever."

"Do you sometimes wonder if the pressure of being a father will be too much and with your hectic football schedule that you won't necessarily live up to your expectations of being that perfect dad and it may cause you to relapse."

Dylan sighed, "I'm not gonna lie and say that I haven't thought about it, but I feel that if I don't dwell on it too much and instead focus on the positive things going for me right now then I'll be okay."

"Have you discussed this with Jamia?"

"I didn't go into depth about it but I did tell her that I was afraid I may slip up or get caught up into something."

"And what was her response?"

"Just be open and honest with myself and her and everything will fall into place."

"And do you see yourself being open and honest with yourself and Jamia?"

"I do, I don't want to lose her. She's the best thing going for me in my life right now and I need her by my side."

"The last time you were here, you mentioned that your parents are very supportive of you, have you talked with them about your worries of marriage?"

"I haven't."

"Why is that?"

"For one I don't want them to know the full extent of how I treated Mia in the past,"

"Meaning your abuse towards her?"

Dylan sighed, "Yes."

"But you had no problems going around your parents like it was nothing meanwhile your girlfriend is back home recovering from your coked out anger rage."

"In the back of my mind I knew it was bad but I tried to justify what I did to her as she knew I was fucked up and wanted me to snap at her, so going around my parents I wouldn't feel guilty because she knew what she was doing and it wasn't my fault, but now that I'm sober I realize that I was all the way wrong for my actions."

"You knew you were wrong then, you just didn't want to admit to it."

"I agree, I knew I was wrong but I wanted to justify my wrongdoing just so I wouldn't feel bad anymore or bring shame to my parents. They rescued me from an abusive relationship, raised me up as their own, showed me what love is really about and gave me everything I could've ever wanted in life and this is what I show for it?
I start doing coke and beating up my girlfriend like my deadbeat dad used to do to my mom, I cried almost every night afraid of him and now I turned into that monster. To my parents that would be the ultimate slap in the face, they raised me up only for me to be this horrible person."

"Everyone goes through different things in life to make themselves better, I'm sure your parents have been through something in their lives that they bury deeply within themselves and feel ashamed because they feel they'll let someone down.
You've acknowledged your wrongdoings and you're making a change and that's all that really matters at this point.
You don't have to tell your parents every little detail about your relationship with Jamia but it wouldn't hurt to talk and open up a little bit more, it could most likely give you a different perspective on things."