Loved For Once (Levi x Reader)

•Chapter Eighteen•

As soon as we got back, I went straight to my quarters. I locked the door behind me, dropped the bag of clothes in the washer and jumped on my bed. I was exhausted. This day was tiring and stressful. Nothing like the others day I've faced. I wasn't hurt physically, I was hurt emotionally and mentally.

I haven't felt this pain since my younger days. When I was in highschool and still living with my mother. I hated those days. They were always days filled with pain and humiliation. Things I will never forget until I'm six feet under the ground.

..Which may be days, weeks, months, or even years from now. I'm not surprised if I die soon to be honest. I mean, look where I am.

...

Why did I have to have feelings for the worst guy in Italy? I could of fallen for someone pure and sweet. Someone that understand me the way I understand myself.

Though, that will never happen. I serve the Mafia until the day I die.

Do you like being in the Mafia? Being here?

It's awful. I hate it.

I promised myself that I would never feel the feelings I felt back in highschool. But now..they caught up with me. They're pulling me back to the starting line, making me unable to pass the finish line.

I'm trapped in that nightmare forever. Til the day I die.

"(Y/N)? Are you in there~?"

Hange.

"Go away, Hange. I'm not in the mood." I tell her. "Oh come on~ Let me in! We need to discuss important things." She says in a desperate voice, that makes me want to roll my eyes. "No. We will discuss it tomorrow. Goodnight." I get up from my bed and get my ear plugs. I then walk back to my bed and get under the covers.

I hear Hange sigh loudly. "Fine. But be ready tomorrow." I then hear footsteps slowly getting quieter and quieter. I put my ear plugs in my ears and close my eyes. I slowly fall asleep.

-

Why are you always talking to me? You have a crush on me or something?

"What? We're friends remember?" I say desperately. "What? I barely know you. Get away from me!" He shouts at me. I look behind me to see people staring at me.

Oh. He's scared that he'll get humiliated as well.

"Loser thinks she can get a boyfriend? News flash, you're ugly, (Y/N). That's why your mom beats you. She wanted a better child than you. I would kill myself if I gave birth to you." A girl laughs at me.

Soon, everyone was laughing at me.

Two weeks later, my mother committed suicide. I watched my mother as she was hanging from the rope, with a smile on her face.

What a cruel thing to watch.

The girl that told me that two weeks earlier looked terrified of me.

"Its your fault." I mutter. Even though my mother hated me, she was my last family member. I couldn't afford losing her and was hoping that I would some day get along with her.

At least I won't get hurt anymore.

-

I wake up with tears in my eyes. Another nightmare. I quickly turned on my lights and ran to my phone.

3:00am.

I feel dehydrated. I have such a headache..problem is that the pain killers are downstairs in the doctors office. I quickly changed my clothes to pajamas and covered them in a oversized hoodie. I quickly looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was very messy.

I didn't care though.

I opened my door and quietly walked downstairs. On the way there, I passed Levi's office. I stared at the door for a couple seconds until I heard movement in there. That's when I quickly walked away to my office.

I shut the door quietly and turned on the lights. I walked over to the cabinet containing the medicine. I got out the painkillers and some water from the sink and swallowed it.

I then walked to my desk and sat down on my rolling chair. I looked at the drawer that contained the surgical equipment. It was then I noticed that it had a lock on it.

Who did this?

"That was me."

I looked over to the door to see Levi. I didn't know what to say. I was extremely uncomfortable right now. I quickly looked away and looked at the papers in front of me.

"Don't ignore me, (Y/N). Why are you up this early anyways?" He asked me, putting his fingers through his hair, pulling it out of his face as a result.

"A nightmare. That's all." I honestly answer. I couldn't afford lying to him. He always sees through me.

"Your eyes are red. We're you perhaps crying?" He saw right through me. "I woke up crying. I couldn't control it." I shrug.

Get out
Get out
Get out

"I should probably go back to my quarters. I need the rest." I get up from my seat and head to the door. The only problem was that he was blocking the door.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier." I feel like he's staring right into my soul.

What is he planning?

He walked towards me, making me back up. I soon bumped into the wall.

Shit..I'm cornered.

"And..those rumors.." Levi slowly spoke.

He's close..too close.

Get out
Get out
Get out

It was then when I felt my face burning up. This isn't good..

"Your face is red..are you sick?" He asked me while smirking.

I finally looked at him. You know exactly what you're doing, Ackerman.

"We can't afford you getting sick. We need you. If you're sick..you can't help the people that are injured and those that are in need." He then leaned his face closer to mine.

This isn't happening. No way it is. I'm dreaming. Maybe if I pinch myself?

I pinch myself hard, but nothing happened.

Shit this is real.

Holy shit.

Before I knew it, he was kissing me. I couldn't help but kiss back. It wasn't a short and sweet kiss. I could tell things were about to get heated real quick. But what I didn't expect was him to bite my lip.

Ow.

I didn't notice that I opened my mouth. Shortly after that, his tongue slipped in. I let him do what he pleased. I didn't dare fight back.

And then it was over. When he stopped kissing me, I couldn't look at him. I was extremely embarrassed.

"Don't get any ideas." After that, he walked away, leaving me alone.