{~𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓮~} Eddie Van Halen x David Lee Roth

Jokes and Smokes (April Fools) {Part 19}

{{Sorry that I haven't updated in awhile, and didn't do a St Patricks day chapter. The world has been literally insane, my parents and I have been busy helping our family, and I am sorry, thats more important than a stupid gay fan-fiction about elderly boomer rocker men. So, again this chapter is gonna be really late, and super  unimportant, just stupid shit.}}

Wednesday: David woke up, it was 9:am. Eddie was still asleep.. David was think about pranking him, since it was April Fool's Day!! But Eddie was so innocent.. and David didn't wanna hurt  him..but since David is an asshole, he started planning a good prank. David looked in the fridge, and found some easy cheese. David grabbed the easy cheese, then went back to the bed room. David jumped on the bed, and sprayed easy cheese all over Eddie's face.

Eddie quickly woke up, and slapped David "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?????"  screamed Eddie. David cried, because Eddie hit him (David is a pussy) "I was trying to prank you.. for April Fools and y-y-you slapped me..." cried David. Eddie hugged David (Getting cheese on him) "I'm so sorry baby.. I didn't know it was you.. I am so fucking sorry..." explained Eddie. David forgave Eddie, and the two began to hard core make out. That lasted for like 30 minutes, but then they got hungry, because they are human. Eddie washed his face, then they went to the kitchen. "What do you wanna eat, Davie sweetheart???" asked Eddie. David thought for awhile, then finally replied "Do we still have those waffles that I robbed from Michael?" Eddie looked around for awhile, and finally found them."Yep! We do still have them!!!!!!! and they are still good too!" responded Eddie. Eddie put them in the microwave, "uuuuuuuuh how long do I cook them for?" asked Eddie. "I don't fucking know, read the box..." stated David. Eddie began to read the box "Place 2 of the frozen ITOTALLYDIDNTJUSTCOPYANDPASTETHIS   Homestyle waffles on microwave-safe plate. Microwave, uncovered, at high for 30 to 40 seconds or until just warm and flexible. Repeat with remaining waffles. 3."  Eddie did just what the box told him to do. David got butter and syrup for the waffles, and set it down on the table. Eddie finished heating up 10 waffles, and set them on and plate for him and David to share.

Eddie and David began eating the waffles while staring into each other's eyes. "So how are you doing?" asked Eddie.  David sighed, "Horrible" replied David... Eddie got worried "Is everything alright?" responded Eddie..really scared. "I just pranked you again! I'm going great!" laughed David. Eddie didn't laugh, and was a little bit offended "YOU HAD ME WORRIED!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DAVIE?" questioned Eddie. David finished his Waffles, then got up and kissed Eddie on the cheek. "it was just a prank, baby.." stated David. Eddie smiled, and hugged David "I  forgive you,baby boy.. you just scared me.." replied Eddie. Eddie finished his waffles, then they went to cuddle on the couch. Eddie grabbed David's ass, "You have a huge ass, Davie" flirted Eddie. David blushed, then then stuck his ass in Eddie's face "I know" replied David. Eddie blushed, and slapped David on the ass "Honey, wanna have some sexy time?" asked Eddie. David stared into Eddie's shit-colored eyes "Of course sugar baby darling honey baby sweet sugar cakes!" responded David, already stripping off his clothes. The two of them began to have "sexy time"

Around an hour into David and Eddie's "sexy time" they heard rocks being thrown at their window... it was Michael and Alex. Eddie sighed, zipped his pants back up.. and went to yell at them. Eddie opened the window, and Michael and Alex admittly screamed "APRIL FOOL'S!" and laughed in Eddie's stupid fucking face. Eddie sighed, flipped them off, and closed the window.  Alex and Michael got #triggered and went away. Eddie and David were no longer in the mood for $3x so they just made out for a bit, then went on a walk. After they walked for a bit, Eddie began to look sad, and uncomfortable. David quickly noticed, "Hey Ed.. are you alright.." asked a worried David. "Yeah.. just Alex and Michael can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, ya'know." responded Eddie. David sighed "Yeah..especially Alex.." replied David while tearing up.Eddie quickly got concerned "d-did Alex do something bad to you?" questioned Eddie. David began crying, "Were gonna have to sit down in order for me to tell you what happened.." stated David, looking at a nearby bench at a park. The two quickly sat down at the bench, and Eddie quickly grabbed David's hands. 

"So..what did Alex do..baby" asked Eddie. David teared up more "A-alex ss-s-sexually assaulted me... in the b-bathroom..at the c-c-coffee shop... the day b-b-before Valentines Day..." cried David. Eddie's face filled with anger.. "DID ALEX REALLY FUCKING DO THAT TO YOU? I AM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.. TELL ME WHAT HE EXACTLY DID TO YOU?!!!!!!!! screamed Eddie. David cried "Yeah..he did..he forced me to kiss him, and grabbed me places..." David teared up even more. Eddie calmed down a bit..so he could calm David down. "So..that's why Alex apologized to you randomly on Valentines day?" asked Eddie. David nodded, while tearing up a little less. The two got up, and continued the walk. After Eddie heard David's story..he was being A LOT more protective, he was holding on to David for dear life, not wanting anything to happen to him. "I'm so sorry that my asshole brother, did that to you..baby.." stated Eddie, in a disappointed tone. David smiled that Eddie "At Least Alex apologized.. and thankfully.. all Alex did was kiss, and slightly touch me.. if he went any farther, i'd be pissed.. well. I still am pissed, but things could have been FAR worse.." replied David. Eddie agreed, and the two continued there walk. They were gonna have a lazy day, and fix things tomorrow.

((SORRY THIS WAS SHORT, UNFUNNY, AND BORING. I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY LATELY))