Chain of Iron

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Cordelia sat on Lucie's bed, the night before her wedding to James, feeling a whirlwind of emotions. James had come to visit her earlier that day and they had had tea and Cordelia had found herself looking forward to marrying him. She still loved him more than ever but Cordelia could not help but think of Matthew, as her and James had been together. She had been shocked and wondered what type of coincidence it was that Matthew had come knocking on her window just as James had.

Her heart had broken for him when Matthew had told her of what plagued him; Cordelia did not view what happened to his mother as his fault and wished that he could stop blaming himself. Matthew had not been there when Cordelia had awoke the next morning but she could still smell his spicy cologne on her bed sheets. She would have been lying if she said that she had not stopped to smell her bed sheets a few times throughout the day. Cordelia did not know what sort of luck she possessed to have both James and Matthew spend the night with her but it also made her feel shameful. Matthew was not the one she was engaged to.

"What is it, Daisy?" Lucie interrupted her thoughts. "You seem a million miles away."

Cordelia looked up at her best friend, unsure if she should tell her of her feelings. She did not particularly wish to tell Lucie of her shameful feelings for two boys, but she could not hold it in any longer.

"I am afraid that I have fallen in love with both James and Matthew." Cordelia squeezed her eyes shut as she spoke.

"Oh, I knew it!" Lucie exclaimed at once. "I had thought it was strange when you were observing Matthew so deeply that day in the library, and I always had a feeling that you cared for James."

Cordelia sighed and then went on to explain how both James and Matthew had come to her and spent the night in her bed; Lucie only listened with wide eyes.

"And now I feel so shameful for letting two different boys into my bed." Cordelia finished.

Lucie shook her head. "Do not feel shameful, Cordelia. It should not matter what society would think; society is against every woman on this planet. You love both Matthew and James so it should not matter."

"Thank you, Lucie." She gave her a small smile and then her distress returned. "I feel happy to be marrying James - very happy even though he does not love me back but I cannot help but think of Matthew. It seems that my heart is torn in half and I do not know what to do."

"I think you should go see Matthew now before your wedding tomorrow morning." Lucie suggested.

Cordelia felt surprised. "Oh, I do not know, Luce. What would I even say to him?"

"Whatever is in your heart." Lucie told her. "It may feel pointless to say anything of your feelings as you are marrying James tomorrow, but maybe you should speak to him to clear your head."

Cordelia bit her lip, unsure of what to do. Should she go see Matthew? What could she possibly say to him? She could not tell him that she loved him - there would be no point, as Lucie had said, and Matthew did not feel for her anyway. But she still did wish to speak to him once last time alone, before she was married and before it would look improper for her to be with Matthew alone.

"Alright." Cordelia agreed finally. "I will go see Matthew."

Lucie broke out into a smile and then escorted Cordelia to the front entrance of the Institute. They both stood at the doors and Lucie embraced Cordelia.

"I will see you tomorrow morning." Lucie gave her a reassuring smile. "Tomorrow, you will be a married woman."

Cordelia only smiled at her and then exited the Institute. The air was cold and Cordelia knew that she should not be out on her own so late at night, but she figured that she was safe as she was glamoured from all of the mundanes. She felt nervous as she walked towards Matthew's flat, not knowing what it was that she would say to him. But she needed to speak with him, did she not? Something inside of Cordelia told her that she did.