Chain of Iron

Chapter Forty-Six

"What was it like? The Shadow Realm, I mean."

Cordelia looked up at her brother who was sitting across from her. She was at her home in Kensington Gardens, visiting her family. It had been a few weeks since she had visited her home and it still felt strange to Cordelia that she no longer lived here. Not that she was complaining about living with James in the Institute, it was only that once and awhile she missed living with her parents and her brother.

"It was dull and grey." Cordelia told him. "There was nothing but sand for as far as the eye could see and it simply looked like a waste land. I never wish to go back there ever again."

Alastair eyed her. "That was a very stupid thing to do. You are very lucky to have made it out of there alive."

"Lucie is to be my Parabatai one day." Cordelia defended. "It would have been wrong for me to not go after her in the Shadow Realm."

Alastair leaned back in his chair. "How is Fairchild doing after his near encounter with death?"

A pang went through Cordelia's heart at the mention of Matthew and she looked away from her brother. She had not seen him since he had told her that they could not be friends, that afternoon in the infirmary, and it made her sad. Cordelia missed being around him, although not only due to the way she felt about him. Matthew was always such a delight to be around and he always knew how to make her laugh. Knowing that she would no longer get to spend time with him made her feel very upset.

"I assume that he is well; I have not seen him in a few days." Cordelia replied finally, meeting her brother's eyes.

He raised an eyebrow. "That is odd. I had thought that you would be seeing him very often now as he is Parabatai with your husband."

Cordelia shook her head. "James and Matthew see each other when I am not around, I suppose."

Alastair looked interested. "I am surprised that you are not upset by not seeing Matthew."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cordelia questioned.

He shrugged. "It seems to me that you have always had a soft spot in your heart for him."

"He is James' Parabatai." Cordelia replied simply. "Of course I will have a soft spot for him."

Alastair only narrowed his eyes at her seeming as if he wished to say That was not what I meant and you know that but he only remained silent. Cordelia found that she did not like talking about Matthew to anyone; she always feared that they would be able to see her feelings for him that she knew were written all over her face.

"I know that you believe that I hold some sort of affection for Matthew, but I do not." Cordelia lied, meeting Alastair's gaze. "He is simply a good friend."

"He would only break your heart anyway, if you were not married to James. The Fairchild's have no consideration of other people's feelings." Alastair grumbled.

Cordelia knew that he was speaking of Charles and she wished to tell him that Matthew was very unlike him but she did not. Risa then came walking into the room and handed Cordelia a piece of paper. She unfolded it and began to read.

Daisy,

Will you come meet me at the Institute whenever you are able? There is something I must tell you.

- James H.

She felt curiosity run through her; what was it that James possibly needed to tell her? Cordelia then stood and looked down at her brother.

"I am afraid that I must go." Cordelia declared. "Tell mother that I will come back to visit soon. Goodbye, Alastair."

He bid her goodbye and then Cordelia walked outside and got into the Herondale family carriage that Tessa had told her to borrow when she had been leaving to come visit her family. As the carriage rolled along, Cordelia could not help but think of James and Matthew. They were both so different from one another but she found that she could not say who she loved more. James had been the only one in her heart for as long she could remember but she felt just as strongly for Matthew. Cordelia had certainly gotten herself into a love triangle and she sighed; love triangles never turned out well in the end.