Hybrid Love

Chapter 10

I didn't hear what Margo whispered in Jax's ear as she left, but from what she told me to tell him and her body language when she was whispering, I gathered one thing. They have history and it was up until recently. I felt a pang of hurt mixed with jealousy for a second and I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way over a guy that I barely knew. I looked at him and as usual his eyes were pinned on mine.

"I think I'm going to head home." I said quickly as I forced myself to push all of my feelings down so I could leave and get my head together. I couldn't let myself get caught up in Jax. I walked past him and Mitch and made my way out of the bathroom and made a beeline towards the exit. I made it halfway down the front steps of the castle when I felt my arm and then myself get pulled back into Jax's arms.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, trying to avoid looking into his eyes. "Why are you leaving?" Jax asked me as he lifted my chin up, making me stare into eyes. "I shouldn't be here, this was a mistake." I told him as I tried to pull out of his arms. His grip on me just grew tighter. "Why?" He asked again as he searched my eyes with his. I felt the tingles through my body once more and forgot for a second why I was trying to leave.

Jax. Margo. Chloe. Mitch. Risk. Pain. I closed my eyes and repeated that in my head and tried again to pull away. "Jax let me go. I can't do this." I tried so hard to say that with confidence but all I managed to do was whisper that to him. I could feel his body tense up against mine. "You know you feel this too." Jax whispered back in his husky voice. I couldn't deny that, but that's what the problem was. I promised myself that I would never get to close to someone else in fear that they would die too.

Jax released me from his arms slowly, and I stepped away avoiding looking at his face. I couldn't face him without giving in. I needed to walk away before I fall for him more than I feel like I already have. I could already feel my tears welling up in my eyes and continued to walk towards the road. I heard Chloe's voice yell for me and turned my head to see her running towards me with her heels in her right hand.

"Wait for me, I drove us here remember?" She reminded me with a sad smile. I nodded at her, afraid that if I spoke at all I would start crying even more. We walked quietly to Chloe's car and she didn't say anything to me until she was driving. "Scar, I don't know what's going on with you and Jax, but Margo is his ex and he doesn't have feelings for her anymore. I really don't think he ever actually had feelings for her." Chloe told me as she glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes.

I didn't say a word. I couldn't without full blown crying. I just stared out of the car window hoping we would get home soon so I could regroup and remind myself why I don't make friends or find a man. No one would understand, I couldn't expect them to. I never should have let my guard down to Jax. Why did I feel this way around him?

We got out of the car when we reached the apartments. Chloe didn't try to get to talk anymore. I made it to my door when I remembered that I was wearing one of her outfits. Shit. "Chloe?" I called out to her as she made it to her apartment door. "Yeah?" She asked me with a smile. "I'll wash this and bring it back to you tomorrow." I said while pointing at her outfit. She gave me a sad look and just nodded her head and went inside her apartment. I sighed, feeling guilty and walked into mine.

I changed into some pajama shorts and a baggy tshirt to wear to bed and wrapped myself in my favorite red fuzzy throw blanket and stepped out onto my balcony. I closed my eyes as I leaned my arms on the railing and inhaled the cool night air. My heart was hurting and I couldn't get his eyes out of my mind. I took another deep slow breath, exhaled, and still felt the same. I began to grow frustrated with myself. How could I possibly feel this strong for a man that I barely knew? It made absolutely no sense to me at all.

I heard my phone ping, I walked back into my apartment and picked it up from my coffee table. My heart felt like it stopped when I read the new text message.

Unkown#: I know you feel it to. -J

How did he get my phone number? I thought to myself. Chloe. Damn her. I glanced back down at my phone and tried to think of how to respond to him.

Me: It doesn't matter how I feel.

I sent it before I could change my mind. He's not making this easy on me to just walk away. Why is he so persistent?

Jax: Now that I know you do for sure, I won't give up so easily. See you soon.

Shit. What have I done? I bit my bottom lip and dropped my cell phone onto my couch. I wrapped my throw blanket tighter around me and went to bed. After tossing and turning for awhile, I finally fell asleep and dreamt of him.