Happily Ever After

Sixteen~ One Moment

Jenna

Usually the darkness that surrounds me haunts me. I get lost in it so easily and I never find my way out or around it. But now I have this spark, a light that I get to follow around. And I'm not out of the dark, I'm not sure I ever will be. The darkness is a part of me and part of me feels like it always will be.

But for the first time in my entire existence it's not just all black. There is a growing light within me that I'm willing to follow anywhere, and that light was Kris. He was the one thing that's keeping me from losing everything, the one thing that makes it all worth it. It's been three months since he walked into that cafe and I haven't been the same since. I'm not cured of my demons, those took years to be created and they won't disappear after just three months. But it's hard to get succumbed by the darkness when Kris was so bright. Like a single star that lights up the entire night sky. One that's always there no matter what and he'll always help me find my way.

I roll over in his bed as I see him asleep peacefully. Both of us wearing nothing but the sheets as we rest under them. It was about 5:30 in the morning and this is the time I usually get up. But this is the first time I've woken up in someone else's bed since Mary became mine. And the first time I actually knew the guy I ended up in bed with. This is the first night I've spent without Mary in a long time and part of me missed her like hell, even though we share a bed and she's a kicker.

But Kris wanted me to spend the night last night and honestly I wanted to too. To see where this would go and what it all meant. So I sent Mary to a friends house and I came over here after his game. I knew what was going to happen but I was still kind of nervous. Kris was a really good guy and my track record when it comes to sleeping with guys isn't the best and he knows that. I've had enough sex in my life that nothing really phases me anymore. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to do it or that he's just another guy to add to my body count. It wasn't like that at all. I wanted more than anything for this to mean something to me.

And it did. Because when it was all said and done I didn't feel dirty or regret. I was happy, I was relieved that everything I was worried about was all in my head like usual. I actually felt really good and I was hoping that there will be a lot more nights like this one.

I reach over and wrap my arm around Kris as he grabs them and pulls me closer. How a man who is 6'5" always wanted to be the little spoon is beyond me, but I wasn't going to complain. I hold my man tight as he starts to wake up.

"You have to go to work, don't you" he mumbles and I smile.

"I do" I tell him. "But I think I can stay a few more minutes like this" I promise.

"Good, because you're really comfy" he admits.

I rest my head on his back as I close my eyes for a few seconds. I take in this moment because it meant the world to me. To hold something that... that I love, I didn't know if I would ever get here.

With a background like mine it's easy for things like sex and feelings to be meaningless, especially when the two are put together. My dad made sure that a lot of this stuff was ruined for me. But luckily my hatred for my dad has met its match, and there was nothing louder than my love for Kris in this moment.

And I was scared, terrified really. These kinds of feelings are not easy for me to understand, to properly feel. I always knew I wanted to love Kris but I wasn't sure if I could. That is until I woke up this morning and rolled over in bed and for once didn't hate the way I felt. And it's because he made me feel good.

Sadly time doesn't stop long enough for me to stay in that moment forever and I had to get up. I take a shower at his place and change in his bathroom. He comes up behind me with his boxers hanging low on his waist. His eyes still closed as he was not a morning person unless he wanted to be. And with a night game coming up I know he wanted to sleep in, but it was nice to wake up with someone I slept with instead of running out of his room trying to find my clothes and what's left of my dignity.

His hands rest on my waist as he places his chin on my shoulder. He opens his eyes as he looks at our reflection in the mirror. I try to finish braiding my hair then I would be on my way.

"You're so beautiful" he whispers and I smile.

"Is that right baseball boy" I tease.

"Mhmm" he mumbles.

"And what makes me beautiful" I ask.

"The way you make me feel" he claims. "Kinda like I'm going insane, but perfectly stable at the same time. The way you look at me with those marble eyes. The way your freckles are getting darker in the summer but your hairs getting lighter. The way you call me "darlin'" or "suga" gets me every time.

In a way everything about you is beautiful" he claims.

I turn to the side to kiss his cheek as he smiles at me through the mirror. I try to finish up my hair but when his eyes locked with mine I freeze. It was the perfect moment for me to tell him that I love him. But instead I choke and break the eye contact. I finish up my hair with my heart beating out of my chest.

"Are you okay" he asks softly.

I let out a sigh as I turn around in his arms. "Yeah. Just sad I have to leave you" I admit. It wasn't a total lie.

"When am I going to see you again" he asks oh so innocently. Like we haven't been dating for a while now.

"Soon. But I don't know if we can do what we did last night every night. Mary is going to start asking questions and I am sure as hell not going to try to explain this to her" I giggle.

"I hear you there" he admits. "But I would be lying if I said I didn't want every night to be like last night. I know it's not good to try and stay in one moment but..." he trails off.

"But you don't want this to end either" I finish.

"Exactly" he smiles.

"I'm not saying that this is a sure thing, because you know it's not, but maybe some day soon day we will live together and we won't have to worry about this anymore" I promise.

"Can't wait" he smiles.