Happily Ever After

Fifty One~ Christmas Miracles

Jenna

After spending a week and a few days in Vegas we returned to Sweet home Chicago. I had work to do and Kris was meeting with a few of the Cubs staff to start doing some light workouts before he ramps it up next month. Plus we wanted some time at home before going to Disney at the beginning of January. And while I loved Vegas and the people there I was ready to continue on with my life.

And the first order of business was to turn Kris' apartment into a winter wonderland. It was the one thing that no matter where I was in life and no matter what was happening I always loved to do. Even when I was in Texas and life was rough I loved to put up the tree with my siblings. Christianity was huge down there and so was Christmas, even if it never snowed like you see in movies. We always put up the nativity scene and Christmas trees and for once life didn't seem so bad. Frannie and I made our own tradition of having a hot chocolate bar and exchanging ornaments once we moved up here. It doesn't seem like much, but we didn't have much. All we had was each other and it was enough for us.

But I wanted to start our own tradition with Kris. So with the things I bought from Vegas and the things I bought since being back here I should have more than enough stuff to fill the apartment with things we love and make us happy. We decide to decorate Christmas cookies and listen to Christmas music to get in the spirit. And this is a tradition I can get behind.

"Why are you so good at this" Kris questions as he watches me carefully ice my Santa shaped cookie to look like him.

"When I was younger I was really artistic. I took art classes in middle school and high school and loved being able to express myself in such a way. I used the colors and the blending and the expressiveness to say things words never could. Art has a way to bring out feelings we didn't know was there. In a way without it I probably wouldn't have stopped cutting myself because that was the only other way I could see my pain. I probably would have gotten in a lot more trouble if I didn't have that kind of muse. But no matter what happened I wanted to live another day to create something. To be able to dream just a little while longer" I explain with the biggest smile on my face.

"I didn't know you could draw" he admits.

"I haven't in so long. So much is happening I haven't had time to sit down and put myself into a piece. But maybe I can once the holidays and birthdays are over" I shrug.

"I would love to see some of your art. If it turns out anything like your cookies I know it'll be something amazing" he claims.

"I'll see what I can do" I smile.

So we spend hours listening to all the Christmas music we can cranking out as many cookies as possible. Of course the cookies were pre made because I am still working on making my way around the kitchen. Plus it was quicker this way with a impatient kiddo with us.

"What are you making" I ask Mary as she adds her abundance of glitter sprinkles to her mountain of icing.

"It's a reindeer" she cheers and I laugh.

"It looks lovely. What's its name" I wonder.

"Grandpa Ross" she claims and that made Kris laugh so hard.

"Oh man, he is never going to hear the end of that one" Kris insists.

"I sure hope not" I smile.

After we take pictures of our wonderful creations we clean up the mess we made. And by we I mean the mess Mary made. By the time we were done cleaning up I didn't feel like making food so we order some pizza and defect to the living room to finish decorating. The tree gets set up and Mary handles the bottom of the tree and I get the middle as Kris handles the top. We listen to Christmas music and dance around like we didn't have a care in the world. And we didn't, that's the beauty of Christmas. Because just for a little while your troubles are in the back of your mind as you try to figure out where to put what ornament. You can make a memory that wasn't filled with pain for the first time in a really long time.

I pull out the ornaments Frannie and I exchanged throughout the years to display what we were able to do. I pick up the one of the bean covered in snow that Frannie gave me our first Christmas here. I was obsessed with that thing and always dragged her there with me. It was my favorite place in the world, the only place I was excited to look into my reflection and actually like what I saw.

"Is that from your sister" Kris asks and I sigh.

"Yeah, it's from her" I say holding it up. "It's sure is pretty, isn't it" I ask.

"It's pretty great" he agrees.

"I would do anything to go to the bean and look in it and see my sister behind me smiling at me. No matter how hard things got, she was always smiling, always happy to be here" I explain.

"I see a lot of that in you" Kris claims. "I don't know what you were like before. I didn't know you liked art and I don't know every detail of how you ended up in my arms. But I can tell that a lot of the things I love about you was from your sister. She lives on through you and in that sense she will never die" he promises.

I just smile as he takes the ornaments from me and puts it up on the tree right under where the angel is going to go. He turns to me with the biggest smile and it was then I was convinced my sister is doing gods work sending this man to me. There is no other way to explain it. How after years and years and years of people not understating who I am, who I used to be and who I want to be, after years of trying to be someone I'm not I finally found someone who loves me. Who loves my flaws and broken parts too. But still wants to love me more than the second before and not take a second for granted. Well I just might be the luckiest girl in the world.