Happily Ever After

Twenty~ Setting The Bar

Kris

Right before the all star break we had a bunch of really important games. You don't want to limp into the All-Star game, then it will be impossible to try and pick it up when you get back. Everyone is rested and ready to go and if you're not in the right mind frame then it is going to be that much harder to catch up to everyone else.

Luckily for me I wasn't going to the allstar game alone. I had Anthony with me and we have the home run derby to look forward to also. Of course it would be nice to have a extended break but it was cool to go to a allstar game my first year in the majors. Not a lot of guys get appreciated enough to be invited and I was. Plus my parents will be there and so will Jenna and Mary, it was making out to be a good time. Then I get a few days off afterwards where I can hopefully find a beach to get lost at.

But I still had plenty of problems to keep me preoccupied until then. Like the fact I was having my first slump of my career. I know every ball player gets them and it won't last forever, but it doesn't suck any less when it does happen. And the guys tried to give me tips, "don't over think", "open my stance", "try new gloves", "be patient", "put the barrel on the ball". The usual baseball lingo that I've heard a million times. But the problem wasn't that I wasn't trying, that's never the problem. My problem was that I was trying too hard and everything I wanted to make happen just wasn't.

After a rough game where I struck out three time and once with the bases loaded I was ready for this day to be over. I was in no mood to hear another game day speech or the opinion of some random dudes idea of what I should do with my swing. I was just about over everyone thinking that this is something I can adjust to, because it's not that easy. It never is.

I decide to go over to Jen's after the game and see what she was doing. She worked all day today because she was about to be gone for a little with the all star break around the corner. Connie has gotten a lot of extra help as of recently so Jenna wasn't so needed there anymore, but it was hard for her to leave. Joe and Maggie has been served by her for nearly half a decade so I don't know what they would do if she wasn't working there anymore. But she's growing and opening up and she's not going to work there for the rest of her life. Eventually she will move one from that place, whenever she believe she is ready.

I let myself up to her place and knock a few times. It was pretty late so I was hoping that Mary wasn't trying to sleep and I woke her up.

The door opens and I see Jenna there in a silk tank top and shorts and I instantly regretted coming here because now my intentions were all different kinds of screwed.

"Hey Kris, what's up" she wonders.

"Can you talk" I ask her.

"I was fixin' to bring Mary to bed because she passed out on the couch, but I can leave her there and we can got to the room and talk" she claims.

"Can we" I ask.

"Of course baby, come on" she insists as she grabs my hand.

She pulls me behind her and we tip toe into the bedroom trying not to wake Mary. We make it in and she softly closes the door behind her. I sit on the edge of the bed and she sits behind me. She starts to rub my shoulders and I hate that this was working.

"What's on your mind" she wonders.

"A lot, I guess. That's the problem. I'm having baseball issues and I know you don't know a lot about baseball. But you know about feelings so I was hoping you could help" I explain.

"Of course Darlin', I'm right here" she promises.

I lay down and I pull her with me. She rests her head on my chest as she listens to my heart and I start to play with her hair. "My whole life I thought that baseball was what I was meant for. I trained every day to be here. I wished on every shooting star and every birthday candle to be the best baseball player there is. To be the guy every kid wants to be like.

So the fact that I'm here and I don't feel like I'm that person I always thought I would be, it sucks. I remember being a kid and looking up to my idols. I don't remember ever thinking "he's had a couple of really bad games I wonder if something is wrong with him?" Even the bad games weren't this bad and not this often. I feel like I'm supposed to be more than I am right now" I explain.

"You can't put limits on yourself. The moment you set a bar for you to reach you've already failed. Life ain't about doing what's expected, it's about doing more than what's expected. That's how your idols made it. They didn't reach for the bar, they set it. And each time they stepped out they knew there was no limits to where they couldn't push it.

You're a gifted player Kris. I don't need to know curve balls and double plays to see that. But what makes people truly great is how they handle diversity. Do they look at that bar and say they won't be able to reach it or do they look past it and realize that the path to getting that far isn't a easy one? Never will be. But they know they're strong enough to break through and keep going once they do" she says.

I let out a long sad sigh before a small smile fights its way onto my face. "I really think you need to rethink this whole career thing, because you're great at making people feel better. Your words, they're so powerful and filled with lessons. Lessons that people who even had a seemingly perfect life needs to hear every once in a while. There's no place so good that the bad can't get to us. You know that. And you have the capability to help people see that too" I insist.

"I know. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've talked with you and Connie and your mom about it. I'm going to look into some agencies here in Chicago and see what I can do. See if I can at least get a start then go from there" she says.

"Good, because you deserve to be heard. You made me feel a lot better and I felt like shit not too long ago" I insist. 

"Well I'm glad I can help" she smiles up at me.

"You mind if I stay the night? I can let my parents have the place to themselves for a night" I say.

"I'm not opposed" she smirks.

So I text them and tell them they got the place to themselves. I grab my bag I keep here for sleepovers and change and brush my teeth. I crawl back into bed with Jen and pull her close.

"I love you Cowgirl" I say as she giggles.

"I love you too baseball boy" she smirks.