Confessions of an Ordinary ME

Chapter 28

"You ready?" Joe was waiting outside the house leaning on his pick-up truck.

"I'm sorry about last night." 

"That's nothing Hope. Sorry too I guess for barging in." He opened the passenger seat door for me. I feel so bad and anxious, I don't wanna get in. 

"Get in." 

"Get in or I'll carry you in." Teasingly he forced me to get in. 

"Did you bring clothes suitable for a wedding?" 

"What?"

"Didn't I tell you?" 

"Nope." Right I forgot to text him the details, I was too worried about hurting him last night that I forgot to tell him. 

"I'll go get from home." 

Then we hit the road. He played a music as he drove and insisted that I sleep but I didn't wanna. Instead we talked about each other, its about time to get to know him and to at least be a little nice to him. Its the least that I can do for him. 

--- 

We arrived at the villa where we're supposed to get ready. The reception will be held at the garden. We parked the car and unloaded our bags. There were a lot of cars parked at the villa, I supposed they are the caterers, logistics, and etc..

"We have 3 hours till the ceremony. Go get washed up and dressed too okay? I'll meet you back at the lobby at exactly 4." 

"Hope I don't know where to go. And besides whose wedding is it?" 

"Questions later. Follow Esme! She'll guide you!" I was already walking away from him. 

"Joseph mi hijo! Come with me, you can stay with Manuelo." I just let him get dragged by Esme. He helplessly looked at me. 

"See you later!" I mouthed at him and waved good bye. 

I didn't get to see Joe that much during the ceremony since I was part of the entourage, and I was kinda out of my head the entire time. You know, since Mikhail could be anywhere around me. My father came and he's hanging out a lot with Uncle Igor and Aunt Lucinda. Gabriella was nowhere to be seen, I wonder if she's okay, she won't answer nor return my calls. I looked around for Esme. 

"Manuelo! Have you seen Gabriella?" I found Manuelo instead.

"I think she's changing with Esme." 

"Hope! I save you a seat!" A familiar voice called me, it was Joe. I automatically smiled, so I went over to him. But suddenly...

"Good evening everyone. I'd like to sing a song for the newly-wed." That voice; after hearing that voice, it felt like it punched a hole in my chest. I couldn't take another step towards Joe; I looked at him, seeing his smile was painful when it slowly faded while I turn around to the other voice. 

The melody sounded cheerful - but how can such painful words fit perfectly to that cheerful melody. It wasn't a message for the newly-wed, definitely not. Those words were meant for me, I guess. My heart is breaking into millions of pieces again, right after pasting them all together. I could see he was scanning through the crowd as he sang. I scanned too, and I saw Aunt Lucinda, Uncle Igor, and my father all looking at me. As if they are waiting, waiting for one wrong move. 

All these time, I thought I was the only one feeling pain, that he was fine, that he already moved on. All these time, I thought he was fine without me, that he didn't loved me at all. It hurts so bad now that I have made progress in accepting we weren't meant for each other. But why do I feel like this song is another confession? What do I do? I can't turn back on family, so how do I turn my back from love? 

'Just turn around' A voice in my head answered my own question. So I did, and I saw Joe looking at me, puzzled. He probably figured everything out by now. The song is ending, and I get a feeling he'd come over to me and I don't want to cause a mess. I don't wanna disappoint everyone. Especially not Gabriella now that she has accepted her new family.  So I ran outside, I just had to, I need to breath. 

"Hope! Please." Mikhail, as I assumed, followed me. I turned around and I saw Joe standing behind him, with Gabriella and Esme. Then seconds later, my father, Uncle Igor and Aunt Lucinda also followed. 

"Are we just gonna throw everything away, and pretend it never happened?" My tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. 

"I already did Mikhail." Lies. 

"Is that why you're already with him?!" Pointing at Joe. 

"Leave him out of this!" 

"Why? You brought him here." 

"Look Mikhail, I didn't wanted for all of this to happen, we don't have a choice. I'm only happy at least we happened. But this is where it ends." 

"How can you say it so easily? How can you do it so easily?" He calmed down, and sobbed. 

"You left. You left when I needed you. You let me get through it all, alone. I let my guard down for you, I stayed in Barcelona for you! You were the one who threw it all away, you didn't even fought for me. You didn't even stood up for me, so don't dare putting it all on me." 

"I was getting used to being someone you loved." 

"Its funny because, I didn't feel that way from you. I didn't felt that I was someone you love after that night that you ran away, and didn't even turned back." 

"I did, but when I came back you were gone. It was only recently when I found out you moved in Paris." 

"But that's not enough. You know why Mikhail? Cause I used to numb all your pain for you right? Cause you liked how I helped you escape the ugly truth? Its not enough, because I loved you more; I loved you more than you loved me, and probably more than you ever will." 

"That's enough." Aunt Lucinda stopped Mikhail from saying anything further. Joe and Gabriella approached me. Uncle Igor and Aunt Lucinda pulled Mikhail out of the scene, and that's when I gave in, I sobbed like a little child. I didn't even cried this much when Faith died, but it felt like a part of me died. 

Just then my father hugged me while I cry my eyes out. "It hurts so much." 

"I know, I know." He kissed my forehead.

"We can send you home if you wanna." Gabriella said. 

"Just please take her home, get her as far away as you can." 

"Joe will. I remember I can't leave yet."

"Who is Joe?" My father asked. 

"I'm Joe sir. Joseph Hart, her classmate in MAI." 

"Hart?-- Alright, take care of my daughter."