Confessions of an Ordinary ME

Chapter 23

"I'll be here by 10 in the morning tomorrow." 

It kept playing in repeat in my head; what he said when he dropped me off just now. I'm still puzzled about what I'm feeling, I don't understand it. I know its not giddy and overwhelmed just like when I met Ethan, its also not heart-stopping and over-excited when I met Mikhail. All I feel now is just annoyance and at the same time, familiar. 

"What's wrong? Did Joseph gave you a hard time?" Gabriella asked as she entered my room, I guess she noticed how problematic I looked. 

"Probably because that hijo was too much for her to handle." I didn't realized Esme followed her. 

"That's not true." - Denial again. They laughed probably because they know. Esme gave me a glass of warm milk and offered Gabriella her freshly baked brownies. She's definitely the material mom that we both miss having. It feels nice. 

"Thanks Esme." I altered the tension. 

"So what happened today?" Gabriella asked as I gulped in my milk. 

"They probably ate dinner out, cause she only came home with one take-out." Esme spilling-the-beans as she stepped out of the room. 

"Esme!" She closed it as soon as she could. 

"Naugthy." Gabriella pulling me to the bed. 

"Come on tell me the whole story." She tickles while I kept myself tight-lipped. As a result she gave up, I guess she was too tired from the journey. I didn't wanna ask her anything related to home, she's probably had enough of that with her father, and besides, its obvious that she does not even wanna think about it. We have a month before the wedding and we both wish that it'd pass by before we even realize it. 

We were lying down head to head on my bed. She was already half asleep, whereas me, I don't know. I don't understand anything at all. 

--- 

The sun ray woke me up, I was just starting to feel sleepy. I couldn't sleep from thinking too much. I can't get rid of the Mikhail's memories in my head. 

I have a lot of unsent messages for Mikhail, probably as much as how often he comes across my mind. I wrote another at 1:15. 

Its a quarter after 1
and I wonder if I ever cross your mind
cause for me it happens all the time
I need you now, more than ever...

Ever since that night he climbed up my balcony, I force myself to sleep before 1:58, but every night, I fail. But I was always groggy and half asleep, but I don't know why I can't bring myself to just sleep. I guess a part of me still hopes he'd come back, in the most unexpected way, you know like the fairy tales, where he'd climb up my balcony again. Its absurd, I know. 

I got up and prepared breakfast. Esme was doing the laundry, Manuelo was washing the car, Gabriella was still dozed-off. Its a sunny Saturday, birds chirping, and a cold breeze blew just to break through the humidity. I sipped my freshly squeezed juice. 

"Good morning!" Someone screamed by my front door, tipping toe trying to peep above our fence. 

'What the hell!' The voice in my head bewildered my peace and made me realized its Joe! I was still in complete shock when Manuelo let him in. 

"Good morning Señor." Manuelo greet him. 

"Good morning, thanks. But please just call me Joe." He humbly replied. 

"Joseph! Good morning!" Esme greeted Joe as he approached the front door. 

"Good morning Esme. Is Hope awake yet?" 

"Oh yea she's here--

"She was just standing here." 

"I thought I saw her too." He exclaimed. 

"I thought you're coming at 10! Its only 8am!" I couldn't keep quiet. I shouted from the staircase. I probably woke Gabriella up. 

"What's going on?" As I assumed, she opened her door with her eyes still shut. 

"I'm sorry go back to bed." I whispered and sent her back to bed. I hurriedly wash my face and then changed into decent clothes. He is really getting on my nerves! As soon as I was ready, I ran downstairs to give him proper greeting and scolding this early in the morning. 

"Why did you come so early?!" 

"I'm sorry but I woke up with overflowing ideas and I wanted to share it as soon as I can. I forgot to ask for your number so I had no choice but to just come." 

"You can't just barged in here whenever you like!" 

"Its okay hija, he's always welcome as my guest." Esme interrupted while serving something that smells awfully good. And as usualy, Joe's face transformed to teased me with a wink. I blushed. 'Why am I flattered?' I asked myself. 

"I was thinking we could write an original for our task!" Out of excitement he cheerfully said. 

"You think its easy to write a song in two days?" 

"I know it is for you. Since you have all your feelings and experience." 

"How dare you--" 

"I know you're broken heart-ed. I figured it all out now. You're broken and you're venting it on the world." He is technically right, but of course to me he can't be right - he can't possible have figured me out. 

"And I wanna let you know that its okay. Its okay not to be okay sometimes, and its okay to vent it out on the world from time to time. You might just really need to let it out, all at once, for it to end." He's starting to makes sense. Honestly, Joe is kinda soft heart-ed; I figured that out from our little trip yesterday. His behavior towards me from the very first time I met him was completely different from yesterday. I can't pin point what happened for it to change. But I do recall he said he couldn't figure me out before and that I reminded him of someone he hates. I am still me - so what changed?

"Finish your eclairs, I'll take you somewhere. Some place where you can freely let out whatever you feel." He then tucked his hands in his pockets, as he was seating, he leaned his head back facing up with his eyes closed as if he was feeling the cold breeze touching his face.