Love is an extraordinary feeling for ordinary people. Well that was the definition she grew up with. When Hope finally understood what love is, she came looking for one even if it means giving up her extraordinary life.
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Gabbie and I went straight into the same cafe we went yesterday. She opened her letter and she got accepted too. Classes will begin the day after tomorrow and now we seriously gotta get ready.
"Lets go shopping today. Since we won't have the chance to for awhile when classes started."
"Sure. I gotta buy new music sheets anyways."
As we sip our cup of coffee, a man went in the cafe getting all the attention. Its Joseph - his serious, cold looking face calmly walked to the counter to order. Teenagers who were seating at the next table were chattering how can someone be so handsome. 'How is a cold looking face who only knows how to glare at people can be handsome' I annoying thought to myself. As soon as he got his cup of coffee he walked out.
"He's weird. But he was good." Gabbie said.
"Definitely."
"Definitely what? Weird or good?"
"Weird Gabbie. Weird!" She teasingly looked at me as if she was catching me blush. Which for the record, I won't. Gabbie and I spent the rest of the day going around Paris. She bought a lot of clothes, and shoes, and bags. While I bought musical sheets, a new guitar, extra strings, a bag, and a few clothes.
We've visited the Louvre, and now we're sitting at a bench by the park overlooking the Eiffel Tower. While Gabbie gladly ate her ice cream, I stared at the Eiffel Tower and sobbed.
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"Hope what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry. I just can't hold it in anymore."
"Oh Hope..."
"I feel so pathetic. I thought I can hold it in for as long as I can, until the day I'd forget about him... But I can't. I can't hold it in anymore, and I can't forget him." Gabbie hugged me.
"Always look at the bright side. You're in the ville de lumiere, lighten up come on." She tried comforting me as she wiped my tears.
"How do I look at the bright side, when there's none?"
She was quiet for awhile, I guess she realized what I have realized long ago - that there's no such thing as brighter side of the situation. The man I love, will be her step brother. There is no way in this world I will be allowed to even talk to him casually, and it hurts so much!
"I've been acting like I'm fine, thinking that naturally I would be if I pretend I am. But I only fooled myself. It hurts Gabriella, it hurts so much, I hate it."
"I don't know what to say Hope. I am as mad as you are. But I don't understand your pain. Tell me what can I do."
"I don't know either Gabbie. How do you make it stop? How do you make the hurting stop? I haven't been sleeping, I was afraid I would dream of him cause I kept on thinking about him. It might hurt more after I wake up, after seeing him again, I would long for him again. I'm tired, my heart is crushed. I give up Gabbie, there is no such thing as love." I'm slowly losing hope.
"No Hope! Don't. Its out there, just don't try find it. It will come, when you're ready and you're heart will know it. I promise."
Those words cut through me. How does that makes sense, you don't find love, you wait for it. I calmed down and took in a little fresh air. Right after the sun set, the Eiffel Tower lit, it was beautiful.
"Welcome to the city of lights. Don't forget you're also in the city of love Hope. Believe in your name, cause there is." She held my hand and we walked the streets of Paris to get home. The cold breeze completed the mood. What Gabbie told me might be the motivational words I need to really move on, and begin healing. I will try my best to keep my mind from thinking about Mikhail and just focus on what I have left to do to become a better of version of me every day.
On our way home, I asked Gabbie if she could accompany me to buy a phone. For the first I will be using it. From that moment I made up my mind, and I will continue to talk to my father. I know he misses me a lot. Since he does not have a phone, I'll do the traditional way. I planned on writing him a letter to tell him I got accepted and I will begin soon.
As I got home, I took out a peace of paper from my dresser. You all might be wondering what is it, that day when Gabbie offered she could text Mikhail for me, I sneaked into her room to get his phone number. Thinking I might need it someday - that day has come.
I went in my room, locked my door, and sat in the balcony. I didn't even switched on the lights, I was nervous, all over again. I still love him.
I wrote:
I've got my eye on the door Just waiting for you to walk in But the time is ticking People ask me how I've been As I comb back through my memory How you said you'd be here You said you'd be here
I couldn't hit send. Instead I took my notebook and wrote it, and it turned to another sad song.
