𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍 ◦ 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 || 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ~ 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧

Warning: Fluff, feels

Words: 1.0k

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I sat in the mess halls as I was busy eating my dinner, losing interest in Reiner's conversation. I couldn't be bothered listening, as my mind began drift off somewhere else feeling my mind thinking about my true mission as to why I am here. I have been in this trio since the beginning, but the more I grew close to our friends the guiltier I felt. The heavier burden fell upon me, as I felt like I couldn't breathe at all.

I was a titan shifter myself and I was similar to Annie's, just my hair colour difference. I hate lying to everyone, being fake in all of this. This has broken me, especially since I have feelings that are too soft. Annie would always yell at me, complaining how I'm too soft and not even a true warrior to begin with. She tends to put me down, when it was just us two trying to talk to each other. Yet it came to the point, where Bertholdt or Reiner spoke for me to her. Now slowly we started to regain our friendship back, after some time of convincing and now we're alright for now.

"Dammit," I mutter under my breathe, trailing my fingertip on the rim of the cup beside me.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?" Annie asks me, making me slowly lifting my head up to see she noticed me feeling out of it.

Hesitating for a moment, "Um, well.......just over thinking everything," I reply truthfully, before taking a sip of my water slowly.

"Okay, just don't let your feelings cloud your judgement," She mutters, as she turns her way back too Reiner. I then push myself up off the chair, as I head out of the hall. It was getting hot in there, as I just couldn't handle myself in there. Everyone was talking so loud, I couldn't even think properly.

I walk swiftly outside as the cool air brushes past, as I close my eyes gently embracing the fresh air. I look out to the stars, as I hate being this weak. Why was I chosen as a warrior? Why did they expect us children to follow order? After a while I sat down on the edge of the smaller wall, cross legged.

Hearing feet shuffling I notice it was him, "(Y/N), are you alright?" I hear my boyfriend ask, as I sigh deeply.

"Do you hate being so, connected with others? Like we're just faking this right? We're not really friends with them.......yet we are sympathising with them," I ask him, as his giant arms wrap around my waist gently. He leans his chin on my shoulder gently, as I lean my head on his taking a few deep breathes in his warm embrace.

He hums softly, "Yes....I hate the feeling, but we have to stick to our mission," He reminds me, as I nod with a wavering breathe escaping past my lips slowly. 

Furrowing my eyebrows "I...I-I just, I hate being a murderer," I admit softly, tightening my grip around Bertholdt. "I know I should be more cold like Annie, but I hate it....so much. Yet I know......they haven't......they haven't done anything wrong for us to destroy."

"I know," he whispers, as he holds me close to his chest. I turn around, as I was still in his warm arms. I look up into his eyes, as I felt tears running down. My throat grew numb, drying up swallowing thickly."What's wrong?"

"If we kill anyone that we are close to, please do something that will stop me from having a panic attack?" I ask him, as his eyes widen.

"A-Alright," he whispers, hearing hesitation in his soft voice.

I then hug him tightly as I began to cry as I have been holding it in all day. My body began to shake, as he held me tightly wanting this pain to stop. This war was never ending, already struggling to hold a poker face to everyone. Lie. Gather information for our needs. Killing comrades. I then felt him rest his chin on my head, making me nestle more closely to him hearing his heartbeat against my ear. I try to take a few deep breathes, but the tears kept coming unable to switch off seen today was already mentally and physically tiresome.  

We pull away after a few minutes of hugging when he looks down to me, with the most concerned look in his eyes. "I swear I won't let anything happen to you," he whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as my eyes widen. My heart beats faster, feeling warm and fuzzy from just a few words knowing it's true. We've been at each others sides for so long, I know him very well he wouldn't hurt me. 

I sigh trying to calm myself relaxing in his arms, "You know Bert......one day when this is all over, I want to spend my last few years married," i smile softly, leaning back to look up at his handsome face. "Having children won't be on that list, if we leave them behind once we die. This titan power is a curse upon us, but I want to be married before I die...."

"(Y/N)....." he breathes out, hearing concern lacing his voice.

A single stray tear rolls down, "I just wish..........we were born in a different time, where we didn't all have to die so soon after being brought to this world," I whisper softly, when he leans down pressing a lingering kiss to my temple.  My cheeks redden, but he pulls away seeing a different looking in his deep brown eyes.

"We will get married together, I will make that happen," he whispers gently, feeling a smile grace upon my lips. Something to distract us from this pain we've been place on, yet fighting beside him gave me that courage to move on to the future beyond.

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A/N: Hey guys, finally was able to edit this and make it longer and more special. Anyway requests are still open! 

~ Little Bean