Chapter 24

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I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw so tight I could hear the pressure. I bit my lip and blinked my eyes to keep the tears caused by intrusive thoughts at bay. All I heard was "Alright, I'll do it." It echoed in my head. My depressive thoughts found me. My eyes went dry as they spoke more about more things. I just stared into space and thought of my sister and Petra as well. I couldn't lose Levi and what if that substance did something to his mind? I looked down at my ring and fiddled with it absentmindedly. 'It's his duty. He needs to do it.' I bit my cheek, 'I need him, I can't lose him, not like this.' I blinked back tears again. 'Stop being so selfish it's his job and an order from the commander, you can't refuse it.'  It felt like my thoughts were attacking me. My head started to pound. I could see my dad at my mom's house? I blinked furiously and the vision left me. I emotionlessly followed Levi, Hange, and Erwin back home. Calamity could tell there was something wrong on the ride back. She kept acting up to get my attention but she realized it was hopeless. 

Levi ordered me to check on the rest of the squad while he and some of the other higher-ups talked about Grisha Jaeger. I got dressed in regular clothes and headed to the mess hall where most of them hung out. I hung around Sasha while the others were kinda spread out. Sasha claimed she knew where they all were though so I wasn't worried, they didn't get into too much trouble outside of titan-related matters. I chuckled as Sasha stole some bread from the kitchen. I thought of Jean and Eren getting into a fight. I pursed my lips together and then put it in the back of my mind. They'd be fine. Sasha had me as an accomplice to her crimes of stealing bread. "Sash, I don't think we're supposed to take too much of the rations..." "It's fine, you're all cozy with the Captain and friends with Hange and Erwin! We won't get in trouble!!" I smirked and handed her the bread I was carrying because she had already eaten half of what she carried. "Yeah, I, MIGHT be fine, you, I'm not so sure." She looked at me horrified. "I guess I'll just have to eat them all as fast as I can!" I widened my eyes and backed away slowly as she turned into a ravenous beast. "I'll leave you to that!" I walked around the area and got lost in my thoughts again. Yes, it was cool that Levi was a descendant of the knights that protected the king, which explained why he and Mikasa were so damn strong, but they gave him the titan serum. What would it do to him? I blinked slight tears away, god I was emotional, especially when it came to him. 

I walked around and eventually saw everyone from the squad was just chilling. Especially Eren, he was asleep like I told him he should do. I smiled that he took my advice on the rest considering he was a stubborn ass kid. Mikasa was watching over him as usual and eventually, Hange came out of her meeting with the squad leaders. Levi and Erwin were still talking though. She tried to ease my conscience about Levi possibly needing to take the serum, whatever that shit was. She tried to explain the science of it, but I was still worried. I wandered around and fell asleep in Levi's room when Hange decided to go see her squad. 

Levi's POV:

"What do you think you'll do after retaking Wall Maria? I'm guessing a defense plan comes first but after that? What's next?" I thought of (Y/n) and I's future. What would we even do? We didn't even start planning our wedding let alone the rest of our future. To be honest, I didn't think I'd make it this far... It's looking more and more possible to be able to live outside the walls. How we'd get there though, was a mystery. "Eliminating threats." I looked up from the floor. "Outside the walls, there seems to be someone hoping that Titans will eat us all, down the last person. As to who? Well, if we have any luck, we'll find that answer in the cellar. A full plan will have to wait. First, we need to see what's in that room." I sighed, "You realize I'm asking this now, because you might not live that long. You're not exactly as spry as you used to be." Erwin touched where his arm used to be. To be honest, I felt a bit bad, I couldn't imagine an existence like that. "Let Hange call the shots on this mission. In your shape, you'll only be dead weight. You sit back and wait for the good news. I'll tell the others I argued until you gave in. Which I will... So why not make this easier on both of us? What do you say?" I looked back to the floor awaiting his response, he seemed like he was going to mull it over, but the answer he gave was quick. "No." I quickly looked up. "Tch." He had to be shitting me. He had one fucking arm, I thought bluntness and the success of the mission being weighed down by him would work. Something was there, though. A fire in his eyes. "Do what you need to, use me as bait. The chain of command still remains. If I'm gone, then Hange. If Hange's gone, the next." 

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