Dancing With The Devil

four.

13 years ago - Taemin's POV

With Jaehyun's sudden disappearance, this was the first experience of mourning I've ever had. The loss of a brother, whether he was dead or just gone, was like losing a limb. Jaehyun was aggressive, recalcitrant, subversive. He had pioneered the initiation of misbehavior in our house. He startled, yet not quite surprised Miyoung and Dad by being suspended from school. According to the principal, he had broken the teacher's violin over his knee and chucked the pieces at the teacher's face in the middle of a recital. Despite the constant lectures from Miyoung and beatings from Dad, he had refused to say anything about what causes such an outburst. All we ever knew about him was that it was just his personality. I saw more of him in Dad than I ever saw in any of us kids. Emrie sometimes threw tantrums that reminded me of Dad, but she was too young to confirm any long lasting effects.

Without Jaehyun around anymore, it suddenly felt like we were all missing a shield, a protective covering from Dad's wrath. He had always stepped in when Dad was over the line and Jae tired him out by taking the first hits, leaving us with Dad's fatigued blows. Now that he was gone, it was like every man for himself. School wasn't much better. Jaehyun was Mr. Popular so his absence was noticeable. Kids started rumors about where he had went, some claimed he was dead, some said he was in prison, the geeky robotics club kids even claimed he was part of a stimulation and never actually existed. The bad kids began coming after Sehun and I since Jae had collected handfuls of school enemies over the years. No one wanted to mess with us because he was already the big scary older brother who saved the day but now that he was gone, we're all free territory. Kids went from stealing our pencils to even throwing rocks at Miyoung's car when she came to pick us up. One time that stood out most to me was during lunchtime where a group of boys had ganged up on me, throwing food and drinks on me in the middle of the cafeteria, taunting and teasing me for my "dead brother". I left school early absolutely humiliated and sought murder.

Dad had been drinking more as time went on; he never came home from work sober, and the drinking always made his temper worse. It was strange, but in that moment I realized that if I said the right things I could get him to step in and do something.

Dad was a big family man as much as he hardly ever showed it, and I knew if I made him feel like his family had been insulted, he'd help me get back at the boys. I knew he had a demon inside him, and I hated that; it terrified me how violent and dangerous he was when he snapped. But in that moment I knew exactly what I had to say to get that monster, my personal monster, on my side.

I told him the story, the names they called me, the way they attacked me. Miyoung kept laughing it off, telling me to get over it, that it was kids being kids, no big deal. She was trying to defuse the situation, knowing better than all of us how angry Dad could get.

However, Dad wasn't laughing. As I told him what the bullies had done, I could see the anger building up inside him. When Dad drank, his eyes would go red, bloodshot. That was the clue I learned to read. I always thought of him as a cobra: calm, perfectly still, then explosive. There was no ranting and raving, no clenched fists. He'd be very quiet, and then out of nowhere the violence would come. The eyes were my only clue to stay away. His eyes were everything. They were the eyes of the Devil.

He sat there in his home office listening to me, not saying a word. Then, very calm and deliberate, he stood up.

Byungho, Dad's chaffeur, had drove us over to the playground as the remaining children hung out waiting for their parents to come get them.
I pointed to the ringleader, sitting in the center of his posse underneath the big oak tree that cooled the entire playground. "That one. He was the main one." Byungho, with the thirst to watch a fight as much as I did, slammed his foot on the gas and shot up onto the grass and straight toward the bottom of the tree. Dad jumped out. I jumped out. As soon as the kids saw me they knew exactly what was happening. They scattered and ran like hell.
But Dad was quick. Good Lord, he was fast.