Infuriated

•16•

•Beca's point of view•

I'm walking towards Quinn who stands at her locker.

,,Good morning." I tell her and she smiles at me. ,,How are you feeling?"

,,It's okay, I guess." She seems distracted and when I turn around I know why. Rachel is walking past us. Quinn watches her with a sad look on her face.

,,Have you told her about your pregnancy already?"

,,No, I just can't. She will hate me."

,,Rachel can't hate you. She's in love with you Quinn."

,,I wish that was true." She sighs. ,,Look, I have to tell my parents first."

,,You don't seem happy about telling them."

,,I'm not, because they will never accept me if I'm gay."

,,But you are gay."

,,I know, but my father would kick me out if he knew."

,,Do you want me to come with you?"

,,You really want to do that for me?"

,,Of course, I will."

,,And what if they kick me out? Where am I going to stay?"

,,I don't know Q."

,,Hey, maybe I can stay at your place?" I swallow.

,,I don't think that such a good idea." I tell her honestly. I don't want you to see my father abuse me or beat me up until I can't walk anymore.

,,Why not?"

,,My father doesn't like strangers in our house." I grab her hand. ,,We're going to your parents first and see what happens. We can always seek a solution, okay?"

,,It's something else, huh?" She tells me and closes her locker. ,,Beca, I'm not stupid. What's going on?"

,,N-nothing."

,,Don't lie to me! I've noticed the way you change after gym. You always change behind the wall so nobody can see you. Are you afraid to get laughed at?" Quinn thinks I'm afraid of getting bullied! That's the perfect cover!

,,Yeah." I lie, but this time she buys it. ,,I have seen the way you and Rachel were treated before. They throw slushies over you!"

,,That won't happen to you because you aren't even singing with us." Quinn put her hand on my shoulder. ,,But back to the part where my parents can kick me out. This fear of being bullied has nothing to do with that. So, what's the real reason you don't want me to stay with you for a while?"

,,Just leave it, okay?!" I say frustrated. ,,I have to go now, but I'll see you tonight." And without waiting for a reaction, I leave her. Why does everybody want to know what's wrong with me?! It's bad enough that Stacie knows and that Chloe saw my scars. I turn around the corner and stop in my tracks. Chloe is kissing Tom. I think I might be sick! I run away before I actually throw up.

When I get home, dinner is already set on the table and William sits at some tacos. My father is sitting next to him and doesn't even dare to look at me. I swallow for a moment and sit down next to William. He's the only one who looks up and gives me a taco. I'm feeling alone, my father doesn't love me at all. All he knows is how to beat the life out of me. Music is the only thing that can make me happy these days. Chloe used to make me happy, but she's way too close to Tom after our kiss. I don't get it. She kissed me and now she's pretending it never happened. We haven't even talked about it. I wish I could just walk over to her and tell her what I feel, but seeing her with Tom... I just can't. She seems happy and I don't want to ruin that happiness. I start listening to the conversation my father has with William.

,,It's a four-hour drive. We have to be there at 9 AM on Saturday. So we have to leave Friday night after dinner."

,,But dad, that's the school's dance."

,,Then cancel it. We're going to do it this way. I already enrolled you for that training."

,,What kind of training are you going to do?" I ask my brother.

,,A very special training in Florida," Explains William, to my father's annoyance. William is a really good swimmer and wants to be on the national team.

,,Oh, and when is the training?"

,,Next weekend."

,,That's my birthday."

,,I know, but we can celebrate that on another day." William tries to reassure me, but that doesn't work.

,,I don't want to be in Florida on my birthday."

,,You won't. I see no reason why you should be there." My father tells me. It's funny how he can talk as angry as he hits. ,,Have you an idea how much that training is going to cost me? Two-thousand dollars." I put down my knife.

,,I can't believe this." I'm frustrated. William won't be home to congratulate me on my birthday. I won't get any presents or friends. I will be all alone on my own birthday!

,,You can't believe what exactly?"

,,That you will leave me alone on my birthday! Where will Lauren stay the whole weekend?"

,,At your aunts."

,,So nobody will be here for my birthday?!"

,,How old are you going to be?"

,,Even that you have to ask!" I feel myself getting angrier by the minute. ,,One day a year. Even that is too much to ask."

,,Don't be so melodramatic."

,,Oh, I forgot. It's not about me in this house. It's all about you and what you want. I'm still here too, you know?"

,,Yeah, let's turn everything around you! Then we'll all end up in a mental institution."

,,What do I suddenly have to do with a mental institution?" I get up from the table.

,,Well, everything! You drive me absolutely crazy!" He yells at me and there's the first hit. It's so hard that I fall backward, knocking over a side table with my mother's tableware on it. It falls next to me on the ground and breaks. My father grabs my neck and pulls me up. ,,I told you not to be this dramatic!" He tells me. ,,You're going to your room and I don't want to see you anymore tonight, understand?"

,,But is it so weird that I want to celebrate my birthday with my siblings?"

,,Stop talking or do I have to teach you some manners too?! You are going to your room now, understand?"

,,Yes."

,,Good, now disappear from my eyes!" He lets go of me and I run upstairs to my room. I lock the door and fall on my bed, crying. I hate my life! I wish I was never born!