Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Fifteen.

"You look shattered" Sam mutters, passing me a bottle of water. After waking up from the horrific nightmare I didn't even bother trying to go back to sleep. "It was just a bad night" I mumble, taking a sip of the water. "Well, if you cant sleep tonight promise me you'll wake me up" He whispers, pulling me into a hug. "Yeah I will" I whisper, just enjoying his hug for a moment. It was different from mine and Perri's hug, but it was still a nice hug.

"You look so tired Em" Jordan states, walking into the studio. I yawn as I pull away from Sam's embrace. "Yeah, been a weird night" I chuckle, sitting down on the sofa they had brought into the studio. "Honestly, you look more tired than I feel" He says sympathetically. "Like I said, just a weird nights sleep" I mutter, picking me phone up from the small table and scrolling through my socials, trying to engage in the outside world for once. "When you back at work?" Sam asks, placing himself next to me. "Monday" I mumble, not wanting to think about how sneaking out was going to effect the work and sleep schedule. "Well, we will make sure you get a lot of sleep Sunday" Sam chuckles, looking at his phone. "How was the house hunting going?" Warren asks, walking in and sitting next to me. "Well, it's typical isn't it, I decided in the end that I wanted to stay local just saves finding a new job, finding new people to annoy" I chuckle, smiling at him. He laughs and nods his head. "I think there's a flat by mine if i'm honest" He smiles. I nod my head, that was local, and it was near Sam's as well.

"How's the rehearsals coming along anyway?" I ask, putting my phone away. "You should see Pel's flip I swear he does it so effortlessly" Jordan chuckles. From coming to rehearsals I had learnt that Jordan and Perri were the closest, they were inseparable, and part of me wondered if Perri had let anything to slip to Jordan, because I knew Jordan couldn't keep a secret. "I cant wait to see the full thing" I smile, I was so proud of these guys, how far they had come and how far they would go in the future, I knew they had big things planned and I couldn't wait to be a part of this. "Well, it's only a couple of days away" Sam chuckles, smiling at me. I smile back. I was going to miss him for the week he was away, I was going to miss Perri, but it meant that I could focus on myself for a while, focus on my sleeping pattern and catching up on some much needed sleep.  "Yeah, who's driving back to get Em?" Ashley asks, walking in the room with some drinks for everyone. "Well of course Sam is" Mitch chuckles, walking down the steps with Perri, who's dressed in all black, something he seemed to wear a lot lately, but he looked hot wearing it. His usual afro was swept back into his signature bun, not a single hair lose.

"What you staring at?" He mouths with a smirk, its then that I realize I was staring at him in front of everyone, I shake my head, looking away hoping no one else had noticed me staring at him. "Right now everyone's here shall we run it from the top?" Ash smiles, standing up, obviously there was a break when I walked in. "I'm going to go out of the room if you don't mind, I don't want to spoil it when I see it next week" I laugh, standing up from the sofa, stretching my legs. "I get that" Ash chuckles. "If you want you can go sit with my mum" He smiles. I nod my head. "Catch up with Dani, can't go wrong with that can I?" I chuckle, patting Sam on the head before walking out of the room, looking for Dani, but I felt Perri's eyes on me with every step I took till I got to the door.

"Hey Dani" I smile at her, walking over to the reception desk. She turns around and embraces me in a hug. "Hey sweetie, I've missed seeing you face around, but you're glowing" She chuckles, pulling away from the hug, and pulling me to sit down on another sofa. "Am I?" I ask, smiling slightly. "You look radiant, I think the time off has done you wonders, plus living with Sam, of course there was a romance going to bloom" She smiles, laughing slightly. "Oh me and Sam aren't romantically involved at all" I laugh, watching her smile drop. "Oh, I just assumed, me and my age I lose track of how relationships work nowadays" She smiles, but it looks forced. "Why would you think that Dan?" I ask, taking a sip of the water that I had brought out of the studio with me. "It's just, the way he talks about you, its like your a goddess, like he worships the ground you walk on" She smiles. "I just assumed, please forgive me" She replies. I nod my head, a lot of people assumed something was going on with me and Sam lately, I couldn't wait to move out to have my own space again, living with Sam was great, it was everything you thought about when you lived with your best friend, but it also meant you got on top of each other a lot. We hadn't argued at all, we never argued, but the thoughts of sneaking around with Perri, almost getting caught this morning, and then the dream I had had, all span around my head, it was time to move back out and be independent, time to stop lying to Sam.

"I'm here if you ever need a girly chat Em, please don't think that because you are living with Sam you cant talk to any of us" She smiles. I nod my head smiling back. "I know, it's just if I start saying stuff right now I can tell you that this performance next week isn't going to happen, they'll be a dead body" I mumble, her eyes go wide and she goes to speak as Perri walks into the reception, his eyes dark. "Pel you okay?" Dani asks standing up. "Yeah Ash wants to go over something with you" He smiles, but his eyes are still staring at me, dark, black. Dani smiles at me before walking off into studio one, leaving me with Perri who was standing in front of me, his eyes showing no emotion.

"Are you okay?.." I whisper, looking up at him, watching his eyes soften as he hears my voice. "Was you just going to tell Dani"? He asks, sitting down next to me. "I don't know Pel, I just I feel like this is all weird" I whisper, looking down at the ground, still feeling his eyes not leaving me. "I know, but you said it's for the best we don't tell anyone right now and I support that choice, like you said it'll just cause world war three before the performances next week" He breaths, and I can hear the smirk in his voice. I don't know who Sam would kill first, me or him.

"Are you okay?" He whispers, turning my face to look at him, his eyes back to the golden brown I loved, a small smile playing on his lips. "I'm fine" I whisper. "You're far from fine, are you going to talk to me about it?" He asks, his eyes showing concern. "It's just I had a weird dream this morning, it's nothing" I mutter, standing up from the sofa and stretching my legs, they really hurt for some random reason. 

I walk over to the water fountain, filling up the bottle I had been drinking from, feeling hot all of a sudden, the realization of lying to Sam hitting me, being in the same building as all of Sam's best friends, more like family than friends, being here with Perri in the reception talking like nothing was wrong whilst everyone was a room away. I feel Perri come up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on the crock of my neck, the perks of him being taller than me. "I care about you yano" He whispers down my ear, making me shiver. The effects he had on me I hadn't learnt to control yet. "I know" I whisper, looking up at him through the mirror that was conveniently in front of us. "You're beautiful" He whispers, placing his lips against my cheek, feeling the blush creep up on them making him smirk at me through the mirror.

He turns me around to face him, my back hitting the wall behind us slowly, his eyes not leaving mine. "I hate not being able to just kiss you" He mumbles, his lips centimetres away from mine. "We cant not here" I whisper, pushing him away slightly, but he wouldn't budge, a small smile on his face, turning into the smirk that was always on his face. "Just one" He whispers, his lips closer than they were before. I shake my head, pushing his shoulder. "I want my kiss" He states, his voice louder. I shake my head, laughing slightly, before looking back to him. "Kiss me" He states, biting his lip. I lean forward, placing my lips on his slightly, as his hands snake around my waist, keeping me in place, exactly where he wanted me.

It wasn't until I heard the bang on the floor that we pulled away, I couldn't look in the direction the bang had come from, the thoughts of it being Sam making me heart sink, making me feel sick. "Jord?" Pel says, but it comes out more of a question. "how long has this been going on?" Jordan laughs, walking over to us. "You cant tell anyone" Perri states, his voice harsh. "So Sam doesn't know?" Jordan asks, looking at me, his eyes wide. "Sam doesn't know" I whisper, looking down at the ground, wanting it to swallow me.