Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Twenty Two.

Perri's POV;

The buzz coming off stage was always something i loved the feeling of, but this time running off stage at the end of the show i wanted to be met with one pair of eyes in particular, but i couldn't find them. "Pel you was great tonight" Starr shouts, coming over and hugging me. I hugged her back laughing. "I loved your body roll" I chuckle, she smiles up at me. "But i need to talk to you" She whispers, signalling to go to the girls dressing room, i take one last scan of the room looking for Emmie but i couldn't see her.

I walk to the dressing room with Starr and she sits me down on the sofa, shutting the door behind her. "You and Emmie?" She smiles. I shake my head laughing. "It's early days okay so please keep it to yourself" I whisper, i didn't want anyone to be on the other side of the door listening, which would be highly unlikely but i never really knew how much someone would be willing to do that. "You like her, i can see it, you was looking for her right?" She questions, sitting next to me on the edge of the sofa. "Maybe" I whisper, refusing to look at her. "I might be your little sister Pel but i can see when you like someone and from what I've heard she sounds like the perfect girl for you so if you're happy i'm happy" She smiles, hitting my shoulder playfully making me laugh and look at her. "I just, we haven't told Sam yet, she doesn't think the timing is right so please keep it to yourself" I whisper, smiling at her. "Secrets safe with me" She sings, walking over to the door. "We should get back, everyone will wonder where we are" She says as she opens the door and walks out. I take a deep breath and follow her.

As we walk back to the room's backstage I see Emmie leaning against the wall laughing with Jordan and Sam. I roll my eyes but stand away from them watching her, she looked so happy, she looked happier, she was laughing with her eyes, her smile lit up the room, her laugh echoing down the hall, it was all i could hear. In this moment i thought about how bad i was for her, how eventually i would end up hurting her, hurting her without meaning to, and part of that would be the past coming back around to haunt me, to make me mess things up. Emmie wasn't my typical girl, she wasn't someone i would go for, she wasn't my type at all, but she was something i wanted - correction someone i wanted, someone i needed. The more i looked at Emmie and then looked at Sam i noticed the way he looked at her, the way he smiled around her, it was the same look and the same smile i gave, the same smile of adoration, the same look of lust.

The jealousy started to burn up inside of me, the feeling making me feel sick. The burning in my stomach coming up into my chest made me want to pass out. I feel someone tug at my arm and i turn around and see Jordan wide eyed. I look to where his gaze was and realize that I've gripped the metal pole that usually has our waistcoats for the last routine on, and I've gripped it that hard that mu knuckles have gone white. I let go, rubbing my hands together, my eyes not leaving Sam's gaze on Emmie. Jordan sighs and tugs me into the nearest dressing room, shutting the door behind me. "I was going to tell you" Jordan states, looking at me sympathetically. "What? Tell me that Sam wants my girlfriend? Does she know?!" I shout, looking at him, my hands punching the air, my feet spinning around looking for something to kick, anything to take my anger out on. "She doesn't know" He mutters. "his telling her tomorrow from what we can work out" He finishes, looking at me. I kick the bin, it's the only thing i could find, the only thing i could think of that wouldn't make so much noise. I didn't want the attention right now. "Course he is" I mutter, sitting myself down on the ledge of the sofa, looking at the wall behind Jordan, i didn't want to meet his gaze right now. "Do you think she will tell him?" He asks, crouching down on the ground in front of me. Some people would say he was brave sitting down in front of someone who had just had an anger outburst, but i would never hurt Jordan, in fact i'd never hurt anyone physically, i would always back down in a fight, i didn't believe in violence, i didn't believe in cheating either which is why i probably never had a relationship, just one night flings. "I don't know anything anymore, clearly" I whisper, feeling the angry tears sting at my eyes, but i wasn't going to cry, i wasn't going to let him win.