Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Eighteen.

Perri's POV;

We had just come off the stage from our first show and I felt slightly dizzy from the amount of flips that I had ended up doing. Jordan and Ashley were the only ones talking to me, and even then it felt forced. Sam just gave me dirty looks from across the room, across the stage, any chance he got really.

"I couldn't of asked for a better first show" Ash beams, as we all huddle into a circle, smiling at each other, my face was blank though. The buzz of the performance was still running through my veins, my adrenaline was running high another reason I probably felt sick, but the biggest reason was the person I wanted to run into wasn't here and she wouldn't be for a few days. I felt like Emmie got me, she understood me without needing to know anything about me.

Call you when I get home, Coz i'm drinking and driving, And i'm slipping off the road.
Shits different, I'm trying, But I ain't with it, No more.

"I think it was amazing guys, I couldn't be more proud" Danielle gushes, coming over to hug us all one by one. "I'm glad you came back" She whispers, hugging me tightly, I hug her back, wanting the hug, needing to here that I was important, that I needed to be here because right now I didn't feel that way. As Danielle moves on to hug and congratulate Mitch I pull my phone out, looking at the new message from Emmie.

Seen some videos online, you guys did amazing x
I wish you was here x
i'll be there soon, Sam's video calling me in a minute with the guys, how are you guys getting on?.. x
I'm trying x

I sigh to myself, of course Sam wouldn't invite me along to call Emmie, but it wasn't going to stop me from being in the same room, I needed to see her, I needed to hear her voice, I needed her to bring me back to earth. "Were going to ring Em, i'm assuming your tagging along?" Jordan whispers, pulling me to one side. "I'd like to sit in if that's okay with you guys" I mumble, not meeting his eyes. "I know you care about her, I know you do but right now everyone is pissed with what you said" He mumbles back. "I know, I cant take back what I said" I mutter, looking up at him, his eyes staring back at me like he never expected that to come out of my mouth. "I meant what I said when I said it, then I got to know her, I got to know her better, and now she's like this drug that I cant have" I mumble, feeling more than Jordan's eyes on me. "I know you said what you said out of spite Pel, it's not like you've followed through with it anyway" Mitch whispers, coming forward. I nod my head, I hadn't gone through with it all, I had the intentions of going through with it, I mean that's what got us to this point. "Sam hates me" I whisper, looking at Mitch, his reaction would be enough to tell me if I was right. Mitch shakes his head sighing. "He cares more about Emmie than you guys know. I think he likes her a lot more than his letting on, his my brother and I love him but if he admits he has feelings for Emmie she's not going to stick around because I know she doesn't feel that way about him last time we had a conversation about her moving on from Harry she said she was already talking to someone but wouldn't give any indication on who it was or anything, she shut down after saying it" Mitch whispers, Jordan shooting me the eyes.

"Guys Emmie's on the phone" Sam shouts, coming back into the room with his iPad, placing it on the table in the middle of the room, everyone beginning to gather around. I watch as everyone walks around and sits around the Ipad, smiling and waving at her. "Where's Pel?" I hear her voice call, making my stomach do flips, the good kind. I smirk slightly as I watch the smile fall from Sam's face slightly. "Oh, his here" Sam smiles, looking at me as if to say 'come over here then'. "Hey Emmie" I chime, sitting next to Sam, just to annoy him slightly. "I cant believe the amount of flips you did across the stage, it's mental" She chuckles, music to my ears. I nod my head. "You would still give me a run for my money though" I chuckle, smiling at her. "But guys seriously, you were amazing from what I've seen" She smiles, looking around at us all. "I just wanted to say well done, i'm going to head up to bed in a minute cause i'm tired so I bet you're all knackered too" She giggles, I notice my top in the corner of her room and smile, she found it then, not that it was hard to find anyway, I placed it in plain sight for a reason.

I find myself just staring at Emmie, just watching her interact with the guys, she loved them and they loved her, there was no denying that.

Wednesday 14th September

I stand and watch as Emily cries into Sam's arms. I didn't know what was wrong, or even if I wanted to, but the fact she was upset was enough to capture my attention. I watch as Sam walks away, leaving her alone for a few moments. Sam walks to the counter to order drinks as I walk over to speak to her. "Are you okay?" I ask, looking down at her, looking at the tears that had previously trailed down her face, evidence that she had in fact been crying if her usual sparkling eyes wasn't already red. "Why does it matter Perri?" She huffs, wiping the back of her hand down her face, trying to remove anything wet from her face. "May seem like I don't care but I do" I whisper, turning her face slightly with my hand to make her look up at me, her eyes starting to sparkle again slightly. "You don't seem like the person to care about other people" She whispers, her eyes not leaving mine. "I come across like that for a reason" I chuckle. She shakes her head, a small smile playing on her face. "I don't go for bad boys who break hearts" She whispers, catching me of guard. "You don't know nothing about me" I whisper back, pulling her to the side slightly away from view. "I don't need to know anything about you, I get this vibe of you" She whispers, looking down at the ground. "You know what Sam's decided to tell you" I mumble. "Me and Sam haven't spoken about you" She chuckles, rolling her eyes. "I want to know you" I whisper, our faces inches apart. "I've just broke up with my boyfriend, dating is off the cards for a while" She whispers, her smile falling off her face, sadness replacing her facial expression. "I don't date Emmie" I whisper, placing my lips to her forehead. "And I don't fuck around" She whispers, pushing me away and walking over to meet Sam.

In that moment I knew that I needed her in my life, she didn't fall at my feet, she didn't beg for my attention she did everything to not have it. But what I said at the party still spun around in my head, all of the guys knew what I had said, and I was hoping they had kept it to themselves, I was going to get to know this girl, maybe she would be the girl to change me, or maybe she would just be another name on a list.

------

Sorry that I lied when I said it, high when I said it, and you fell off my mind for a second, When I'm drunk, I'm different, My cigarette ain't hitting my throat, so I smoke more.

I watch as Emmie says bye to everyone, taking one last glance over at me giving me a small smile, but I knew what it meant, it meant call me later. She wasn't going to sleep, I knew I was going to sleep tonight, I wasn't going to have her small body curled up against me, her soft breathing sending me to sleep, my heartbeat sending her to sleep.

"You and Sam being at each others throats isn't helping anything" Jordan whispers as the buys all pile out of the room, getting ready to head to the hotel we was staying in, I couldn't wait to have a shower and just chill, calling Emmie in the process.

As we all pile on the bus to go to the hotel its quiet, which is normal after we've done a show. A lot of us usually go through the social media looking at photos and videos, seeing what it really looked like from the audience and I had to say it looked pretty good from where I was sitting. "I don't get why Emmie asked for you earlier" Sam mumbles from behind me, of course he sits in the seat behind me. "I don't know okay? maybe because she actually wants to know me as a person and not from what she hears" I mutter, locking my phone so that he wouldn't see anything Emmie may send my way. "You said what you said bro, I don't think I can let that go" He mutters. "Then try to, I would never hurt her" I whisper, looking at him, my eyes softening. He sighs shaking his head. "You still said it Pel, we all know you've been sleeping around the last few months, saying what you said just proves you don't look at females like they are females any more, there just something for you to tap, and Emmie is not going to be on that list, over my dead body will she be on that list" He mutters, putting one of his earphones back in. "i'm not going to hurt her Sam, I promise you hand on heart whatever I said that night I would never for fill, she means something to me" I whisper, he nods his head, I don't think he fully registered what I had said, but it was something he was going to have to deal with. I was seeing Emmie, he wasn't going to stop that.

I look at the snapchat the Emmie had just sent me, it was a picture of her in my t-shit smiling at the camera, her long hair cascading around her face, no make up on, no filter needed. She was smiling, a proper huge smile, making me smile. That was the second reason I fell for Emmie, her smile, it was infectious just like Ashley's.

Emmie's smile was reason number two, but the list never stopped there.