Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Twenty Five.

Friday 5th October.

I woke up with the worst headache, i didn't even remember getting back to the hotel, let alone what else happened last night. I sit up in the bed with the urge to be sick, the smell of food wafting through the open hotel window making me run to the bathroom, throwing whatever was in my system into the toilet. "The joys of hangovers aye?" Perri whispers, kneeling down next to me and holding my hair out of my face. "this isn't attractive at all is it" I chuckle, throwing up again. "Not really no" He chuckles, rubbing my back soothingly. "But, we need to talk" He whispers.

Oh god, what had i done? had i cheated? had i stripped for him?

"You told Warren and Nathan last night, they said they don't think you told anyone else, and they've promised to keep it a secret, but everyone's saying we have to tell Sam" He whispers, kissing the top of my head. "I can smell the vodka in your hair" He moans, pulling his face away from my head. I shrug. "This isn't how i wanted to spend the last day and night here" I whisper, resting my head in my hands. "Hey, i'm sure he will take it fine" Perri whispers, resting his head on my bare shoulder, ignoring the fact that i smelt like alcohol. "i'm not sure his ready to find out" I whisper, feeling the tears sting my eyes and I knew it wasn't from the fact my head was pounding. "We will get tonight over with, and then when we get back home we will do it as a group thing, that way if he acts out everyone will help deal with it" He whispers, kissing my head again. "But seriously, you need a shower" He chuckles, standing up and helping me up from the floor with him.

Perri stands there staring at me for a while and then I realize i'm in some short shorts and a strappy top. I place one arm over my chest holding my other arm and look at the ground. "Why do you cover up in front of me, there's nothing about you that I don't like" He whispers, moving my arm from my chest and placing it back to where it was originally. I sigh and shake my head. "I don't know, it's just something I've always done" I whisper, meeting his eyes. "You told me you loved me last night in front of Warren, Jordan, Starr and Nathan" He chuckles, making me roll my eyes. "Trust me to be drunk enough to not remember it" I reply, sighing, and pressing my hand to my head. "You need to get back to your room as much as I don't want you to go, Warren was going to stall Sam this morning but really we need to get you ready for the day" He whispers, kissing my cheek. I nod my head, grabbing a jacket from Perri's floor, I didn't even care if it was his I wasn't going to walk down the hallway dressed like this for everyone to see. "I'll see you later" He whispers, pressing his lips to my mine making me pull away instantly. "I've just threw up and you've kissed me" I moan, feeling disgusting. "You're still my girlfriend though" He smirks, before opening his door for me to slip out.

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"I feel like i haven't seen you all day" Sam moans lying down on my bed. "Please be quieter" I reply back, my headache was shifting slightly but it still felt like someone had slammed it off a wall repeatedly. "Hangover Emmie isn't fun" Sam chuckles, sitting up on the bed. "I know" I whisper, sitting down next to him. "Em, you know what i said yesterday" He starts, but he doesn't finish what he was saying, he just looks at me like i'm a ghost. "What?" I whisper. "I think i like you" He whispers, his smile falling slightly and looking to the ground. "But, i'm stuck in this place of i don't want to ruin our friendship and obviously you've just got out of a relationship so i don't want to add any pressure to you or anything but i feel like i need you to know that" He whispers, playing with his hands in lap. I close my eyes thinking about everything. Thinking about the last few dreams i had, had.

"You didn't tell me this because? What did you think i was going to do?" Sam shouts. "I don't know Sam that's why i didn't tell you" I shout back, as he throws his fist into the wall. "Sam you're going to hurt yourself please just stop and fucking listen to me" I shout. "How can i listen to you if i don't even trust you anymore, you've kept this from me for so long i don't know if you're still the person i used to call my best friend" He replies calmly before walking out of the front door.

"His not who you think he is Emmie, his going to hurt you and you're going to come running back to me and its a mess i don't know if I'm going to be able to fix, it's like asking me to chose between sleeping or being awake" He shouts. "I'm not asking you to chose anything, i'm asking you to just accept that me and Perri are together" I shout back. "And what happens when you break up? do you stop coming to shows because his your ex boyfriend? do you stop being friends with me because i dance with him?" He shouts back. I shake my head. "I don't know Sam okay, i just thought you would support me" I whisper, tears streaming down my face.

I take a deep breath and sigh. "Sam, i need to tell you something but you need to promise me that no matter how much it upsets you or hurts you, you come to me to talk about it and you don't over react, don't hit anything and please don't walk out of this room without saying anything" I whisper, sitting up on the bed, looking at him seriously. He looks at me smiling, but his smile drops when he see's how serious i am. "Shit, Em are you okay?" He whispers, turning to face me, crossing his legs on his bed getting more comfortable. I let a single tear roll down my face. I had put this moment off for so long because i was scared of his reaction, i was scared that he wouldn't support it, scared that it would ruin our friendship when in reality i didn't tell him straight away because i was scared of how everything was going to change myself. "Emmie, please tell me what;s going on, please don't cry" He whispers wiping my tear away, his hand lingering on my face longer than it needed to but it was okay, he was showing he cared. "Me and Perri.. were together" I whisper, trying hard not to meet his eyes, but my eyes still did. He sighs shaking his head. "I know you don't get on and that's for whatever reason you guys have, but i just want you to accept it, to not hate me, to not hate him" I whisper as another tear falls down my face which he wipes away again. "There's a reason i hate Perri and there's so much i could sit here and say but right now i need to go and clear my head but i will see you later before the performance right?" He asks, wiping a tear of his own that i hadn't noticed and standing up from the bed. "You're not mad at me right?" I ask, looking up at him. "I could never be mad at you Emmie, i'm glad you've told me" He whispers, his voice cracking slightly making my heart drop. I watch as he walks out of the room.

I stand up from the bed, letting some more tears fall. I slowly gather myself and walk out of his room, making sure the door is closed behind me before walking down the hallway and knocking on the door i was using more than my own. "Emmie? Are you okay? whats happened?" Perri's voice fills my ears as i walk into this chest, pulling him as close as i can get him to be. "Emmie, what's wrong?" He whispers, resting his head on top of mine. "I told Sam" I whisper, pulling away from the hug, looking up into his beautiful soft brown eyes. "And?" He whispers. "He didn't shout, but he did go for a walk" I whisper, noticing that the rest of the guys were in the room. "So does everyone know now?" I ask, looking around the room. "Everyone knows were together now yes" He whispers, lacing his hand with mine as the rest of the room erupt into smiles and cheers making me laugh, Even Mitch looked happy. "I don't know where Sam has gone" I say to Mitch, walking over to him. "He will get over it, he just needs time" He replies, giving me a small smile. I nod my head, sitting down on the sofa. "Right, we need to get ready to head to a quick rehearsal, we have a meet and greet tonight, first one ever" Ashley exclaims as the room erupts into cheers again.

I sit looking around the room, watching them all talk and cheer each other on as they dance around. Sam should be here, and it was all my fault at to why he wasn't.