Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Twenty One.

i love you..

Them three words rang around my head, i couldn't get rid of his voice saying them. Did he really mean what he said? i never said it back.. i didn't know how to. I felt like it was slightly rushed, but knowing bits and pieces about Perri's past maybe this was the closest thing to love he knew.. but to me it wasn't. I liked him, i liked him a lot, but i didn't think i loved him, not like i loved Harry anyway.

i walk out of the train station and see Ashley stood there. Since i had come earlier than expected, i didn't want to wait for the train i was supposed to get on, plus this time for the train was quicker than the later one, but it meant i would be able to watch the boys preform tonight. "Emmie" Ashley gushes, pulling me in for a hug. "If you're not a white flag i don't know what it is" He chuckles, letting go of me. "Has it been that bad?" I ask, walking to Danielle's car with him, she had drove up following the bus, purely for the fact that they would all then have a car to use instead of going everywhere in a bus that said Dance Work Studio's DIVERSITY.

I'm feelin' like a bullet, Jumpin' out a gun,I'm feelin' like a winner,I feel like the one. You're doin' somethin' to me, You're doin' somethin' strange, Well, jump back, talk to me, woman, You make me wanna make a baby,

"If i told you they have been at each other's throats since Monday morning would you believe me?" He chuckles, starting the car up. I nod my head. "When did Jordan tell you?" I ask, looking at him as he drove, his concentration on the road in front of us, London was a lot busier than Essex. "Jord let it slip without knowing it, but it wasn't hard to put two and two together, you look at him like you know you shouldn't be with him, he looks at you like he knows he can't have you" He chuckles, glancing at me quickly before looking back to the road. "Does anyone else know?" I whisper, looking at the road in front of us. "Not that i'm aware of, i feel like Pel's head wouldn't be on his shoulders if other people knew" He states, but his voice was stern, he want joking. "Sam would be the first one in the line" I whisper. Ashley nods his head "If only you knew Em, but it's not my place to say" He whispers. I look at him, expecting him to carry on with whatever else he was going to say. "How excited are you for this performance?" He chuckles, smiling at me briefly. I smile back "Really excited" I chuckle, looking at my phone, looking at Sam's new message.

Feel like I've bugged you all day, sorry bubs, i'll see you soon massive hugs waiting for you x
I cant wait to see you too x
Ash with you now? x
Yeah on the way back x
See you soon bubs x

"Sammy's missed you a lot" Ash sighs. "I don't get why he misses me so much though? i mean before i moved in with him for a while we could go days without seeing each other and just talking on the phone, but now it's like someones flicked a switch" I whisper, looking over at Ashley, seeing if he could give me any insight on what was going on with Sam. He shakes his head. "The fact you're oblivious to it show's how much you like Pel" He whispers, looking back at me as he pulled the car into the car park. "What do you mean?" I ask, looking at him. He shakes his head. "I want to tell you so much Em, but it's not my place, i think you need to speak to Sam about how he really feels, but you also need to speak to Pel, withholding information from someone can mentally break someone, and i don't want the person who breaks to be you" He whispers, taking his seat belt off and getting out of the car. I take a deep breath and copy him, getting out of the car. I lean against the door as Ashley get's my small bag out of the boot. "I like him a lot Ash, i'm prepared for the heartbreak that could come with this, whenever i'm with him i get that rush, i get the feeling's you read about in books, i know his a player and has that reputation, but this is my choice to make, even if it is the wrong one" I whisper, looking up at him. He smiles at my softly. "I'm not saying you're making a mistake, i'm just saying you need to know everything, once you have all the information you can make a choice based on what you know, not what you think" He whispers, taking my hand in his. Ashley would always be like a big brother to me. "Let's go see the rest of the losers then yeah?" He chuckles as we walk into the arena.