Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Seventeen.

Perri's POV;

I watched Emmie as the bus drove off. This wasn't how I expected the first two weeks of knowing her to go.
I never expected her to start sneaking out of Sam's flat to come and spend the night with me, not that I was complaining at all.

"You're thinking about her already aint you" Jordan chuckles, sitting next to me at the back of the bus, where I had planned on sleeping, or at least trying to. I nod my head, placing my head against the window, scrolling through my phone, looking at the photos we had taken together over the two weeks. I never expected this to happen, I didn't want this to happen, not in the first place, it was always going to be that game, that stupid little game, yet here I was, and I couldn't get her out of my head.

"You know I think you should tell Sam" He whispers, making me look up from my phone, my facial expression not changing, just my eyes looking at him. "We cant, he would kill me" I mutter. "You don't think I don't want to kill you? You know what you said that night" He mutters, as my eyes drop back to my phone, looking at the photo me and Emmie had taken this morning. I was shirtless, as usual, it was very rare I wore a top in my own house. But Emmie was cuddled into my side, looking up at the camera smiling, her smile was beautiful, it was one of the things I loved about her. "If you like her that much maybe you should tell her the truth before you tell Sam the truth, because I don't think she's going to want to know you when she finds out" Jordan mutters before walking off to the front of the bus with everyone.

I sigh to myself. Jordan was my best friend, we argued sometimes but there was no point in arguing with him over this, he was right and that was the end of it. I open my messages up and look for Emmie's name, it was the only girls name I ever saved in my phone, that was progress for me.

I miss you already everyone's annoying me.
ignore them then, it's still really early and you're not a morning person x
not the point id rather be in bed with you right now x
you don't know how wrong that sounds Kiely x
you know what i mean o.o x
do i though? x

Did she think I was with her for just that one thing? It's who I was in the past, but I didn't think Emmie knew about my past, it never come up in conversation which I was extremely thankful for because I didn't think I would ever be able to sit down and have that conversation with her.

you should get some sleep babe, it's early like you said x
please don't kill anyone, i'll speak to you soon x

I sigh, and turn my phone on so silent, scrolling through social media, looking at the photo i had posted of mine and Emmie's hands, no one knew it was her, well Jordan did and Ashley probably did by now, but it was our little secret still, she was my little secret. I loved the risk, i loved the fact that everyone was all secret, but part of me wished that i could hug her, just hold her, kiss her in front of everyone, but part of that was to spite Sam, part of it was because the more time i spent with her, the more i wanted her, i never wanted her to begin with and all of the boys knew that, they were all there that night, that's why Sam wanted us apart, that's why Sam would never approve.

Monday 12th September
"Anyone would think you have a staring problem, it's a female, you've seen one before" Jordan chuckles, pushing my back, knocking me into reality. Those eyes, her eyes were captivating, they sparkled without her realizing. I never expected to see her again, let alone dream of her being Sam's best friend, of course she would be Sam's best friend, she was beautiful, stunning rather. She didn't know that though, you could tell she was insecure, she was innocent.

I pry my eyes away from her before anyone else can notice I'm staring at her. "What happened to that Chelsea girl anyway?" Jordan chuckles, sitting down on the sofa, we was taking a break from rehearsals now that Emily was here. "I don't know who you're talking about" i chuckle, scrolling through my phone, deleting numbers that i didn't save, i never saved girls numbers it meant i had to see them twice, or at least talk to them twice. "You need to stop doing this, stop breaking innocent hearts" He mutters, taking a swig of his water. When he says the word 'innocent' my eyes connect with the sparkling ones i couldn't take my eyes off. She smiles my way, making a pounding in my chest get faster, i'd never felt this way about someone before, i didn't know what to do, my palms were becoming sweaty.

Before i know it i'm walking over to her, smirking slightly at her leaning over the crutches. "So was it a sprain?" I ask, looking down at her, smiling at the height difference, she was the perfect height. "Yeah it was" She chuckles, her chuckle making my chest tighter. "Good" I mumble. "Good?" She laughs, tilting her head, smiling and shaking her head. "I mean good that it wasn't a break" I mutter, walking away and out of the door to the water fountain.

I had never acted this way around a female before.

"Pel, were here" Jordan mumbles, shaking my slightly, I must of drifted off to sleep finally. I exit the bus, pulling my hood over my head, burying myself away from the fans that we had, they were already queing up outside to get into the venue. I smile slightly, I was proud to be apart of this, thankful that I was dancing again.

Usually as I walked past females one would catch my eye, one would catch my attention, it didn't matter what they did, how they looked, it never mattered, it was always for one thing, and one thing only. But since meeting Emmie, since being captivated by Emmie no one else crossed my mind, I don't think anyone ever would catch my eye again, not as long as I had her.

"Emmie told me that we need to get on, but i'm perfectly happy with keeping out of your way and you keeping out of mine until she gets here" Sam mutters, as we walk into the building, I roll my eyes. "Why cant you just let it go?" I mutter, walking past him and putting my bag down in the dressing room. "Because she's my best friend and what you said offended me, she wouldn't think you're so freaking perfect if she knew what you said" He spits back, throwing his bag on the sofa in the room. "Then why don't you tell her" I shout back, throwing my hands in the air, the anger starting to rise up, my hood falling from my head in the process. "Because i'm not going to be the one to break her, she will see you for what your worth and that's it" Sam shouts back, kicking over a chair. I shake my head. "She cares about me" I mutter, looking down at my feet. She did care about me, I cared about her, that's how this was now. "You cant change the past Perri, you cant take back what you said" He spits, his hands going to his head, like I was giving him a headache. "I know I cant take it back" I mutter. "So you cant make it right either" He replies, his voice more calm than it was before. "She's my best friend Pel, I will look out for her" He states, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. I roll my eyes, he was never going to like the fact we were together, we are together. "I'm doing this for Emmie, not for you Perri" He mutters. "Id do anything for Emmie too" I whisper, walking out of the room.

"What was that about?" Jordan asks as I walk into him, groaning at how hard I had walked into him. "Emmie" I mutter, not looking at him. "You told him?" He whispers, pulling me into another room, closing the door behind him. "No, having ago about what I said" I mutter, still not looking up from my feet. "When she finds out she's not going to take it well, and I think it needs to come from you and not any of these lot, you are her boyfriend after all" He mumbles.

I nod my head. I was Emmie's boyfriend, I was supposed to wipe her tears, I was supposed to be the one who made her happy when she was sad, calmed her down when she was angry. Make her happy.

I look at my lock screen, looking at the photo of her with her head in her hands, pouting up at me, looking at her sparkling eyes.

If there's anything that makes you fall in love first it's someone's eyes, they never age, they never fail to capture you in the moment.

Emmie's eyes will forever be reason one.