Twelve Reasons.

Chapter Nineteen.

I was sat in Perri's top waiting for him to FaceTime me. It wasn't like we had seen each other this morning, I genuinely just missed him, this is how I knew I was falling for him. I loved his eyes, I got lost in them every time I looked into them, and his smile just infected me with smiling myself, but I loved his presence. Perri's presence was either noticed or not, he either made himself known or he didn't, and most of the time you didn't know he was in the room, you just knew he was there from his intense stare. He was quiet, but you always knew he was around.

My phone starts to ring and 'Afro' pop up on my screen with a shirtless photo of Perri, it was something he had set himself, but I couldn't help but stare at the phone whenever his photo popped up on my screen, this was my secret boyfriend.

"Hey" I smile, his hair was in its usual afro state and was slightly damp indicating he had just got out of the shower. "Have I ever told you how good you look in my top?" He chuckles, his deep voice filling the room making me smile. "You've said it once or twice" I laugh, shaking my head. "How are you?" He asks, shifting in the bed he was sat in, trying to get comfortable. "I'm not too bad, going to see my flat tomorrow, start moving things in" I smile, watching his face fall slightly. "You should just move in with me" He moans, as I shake my head. "I'm not jinxing anything" I chuckle, making him smirk. "You'll still sleep at mine when I get back so I don't see the difference" He smiles. I shake my head. "Maybe you'll sleep at mine instead" I smirk, watching his eyes go wide. "How's things with Sam?" I ask, not really wanting to know the answer, I know they both had said that they were going to try and get on but I knew deep down that it wouldn't happen. "We haven't killed each other, if that answers your question" He mutters. I shake my head, smiling slightly at his sarcasm. "If this is going to work you need to get on with my best friend" I whisper. What I was saying was true, the only way Sam was going to accept me and Perri was if they started getting along. "I'm not in a relationship with him though am I" He smirks, making me roll my eyes. "If he wasn't such a dick then this wouldn't be a problem" He sighs. "Well there's a reason why he hates you clearly, so maybe work on that" I smile, trying to be positive. He shakes his head, not even replying to what I said. "You should get some sleep, I bet you're really tired" I whisper, looking at the time on my laptop. "I'm not tired, I want to talk to you" He whispers, yawning slightly. I laugh. "You're tired, you should get some sleep i'll text you tomorrow" I whisper, smiling at him. He yawns again, shaking his head 'no'. "Cant I wait for you to fall asleep?" He asks, tilting his head to the side and doing his best puppy dog eyes, making me roll my eyes. "No Kiely, you're going to sleep and I will talk to you tomorrow" I smile, making him groan. "I'll speak to you tomorrow, I promise" I smile, he nods his head. "Before you go can I ask you something?" He asks, his voice trailing off at the end, almost as if he was second guessing asking whatever he was going to ask, making me wonder what it was, was it bad? "Of course" I whisper, looking away from the camera slightly. "you like me right"? He chuckles, his cockiness coming out in the question. I roll my eyes. "I like you at the moment why?" I question. "Do you think anything will ever change that?" He asks, his eyes looking at the camera, like he was sat opposite me staring into my soul. "I don't think so, why?" I ask. "When I see you, i'm going to tell you somethings about my past, I just need to know that whatever I tell you isn't going to change your opinion on me, that you will still want me as your boyfriend" He whispers, his voice soft, his voice quiet. I nod my head. "Right now Pel, nothing will change how I feel about you" I whisper, smiling at the camera. He smiles back. "Now get some sleep" I chuckle as he nods his head. "Night princess" he whispers, blowing a kiss at the camera. I smile, before clicking the end call button.

I lean back in my bed, my phone clutched to my chest smiling, but the questions were going around my head. What could he tell me that would make him think I wouldn't want to be with him anymore?

I didn't think anything Perri told me would make me not want to be with him. I was growing to know that he had a history with girls and potentially breaking their hearts, but I was willing to take that risk for the way he made me feel. What I had heard about Perri wasn't what I was experiencing, if anything it was the complete opposite, he was caring, he was kind, he was funny and he hadn't pressured me to do anything I didn't want to do. I close my eyes, thinking about the things me and Perri had done, things we would probably do soon. Maybe it was time to give that slight bit of innocence up, maybe I wanted to be with Perri properly. Maybe it was time I stated acting like an adult and got it over and done with.

"I'm going to need help if i'm going to do this" I mutter, before rolling over and closing my eyes to go to sleep.



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I wake up the next morning to my phone ringing, I turn over groggily and look at the caller ID.

Sam.

"Hey" I grumble, answering the phone. "I woke you up didn't I" He chuckles down the phone. "You could say that yeah" I mumble, sitting up in bed, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake myself up. "Sorry I guess, but it is like 10am" He chuckles again. I sit up in bed properly now, I never slept in this late, I guess I needed it from all the sneaking around with Perri. "How's rehearsal?" I ask, playing with my hair. "Not too bad, I wish you was here though, I feel like you made rehearsals better" He says and I can hear the smile in his voice. "Well i'm not so you're just going to have to keep surviving without me" I laugh, hearing him sigh down the phone. "I need to speak to you about something" He whispers. I try and think about what he could want to speak to me about, did he know about me and Perri? had Perri told him whilst they were in London? "Em you still there?" I hear Sam asks, I forgot to reply to him. "Yeah sorry, what was you saying?" I ask. "I need to talk to you, but I guess it can wait till I see you, how do you feel about coming tomorrow night? We've got Thursday off so I was thinking we could have an us day, go for lunch?" He asks, and his voice is almost like his pleading that I will say yes. "I guess I could yeah?" I reply, not really sure of my answer, it wasn't that I didn't want to go, I guess I was more worried about what it was he wanted to talk to me about. "Plus its your birthday in a few weeks, it's not every day you turn 24" He chuckles. "Sam you only turn an age once, you know that right" I chuckle. "If I want to stay 28 I will stay 28" He laughs, and I laugh with him. "You'll be forever young" I whisper. "But you know you're 29 right?" I chuckle, hearing him groan. "Way to ruin my good mood Emmie" He replies, making me laugh. "Pack something nice yeah? food is going to be my treat" He chuckles, I roll my eyes. When Sam said lunch I assumed it would be a dressed down thing, but Sam had a habit of making things a big deal, a fancy restaurant wasn't what I was feeling on a Thursday. "Yeah okay, I need to go, I need to get ready to go get my keys" I chime, realising today was kind of moving day. "If you insist on moving out then fine" He moans. "We always said this was temporary" I chuckle. "I'll ring you later Emmie" He whispers, I smile. "I'll speak to you later Sammy" I chuckle as he hangs up the phone.

I look at my lock screen and see that Perri had also text me.

If you and Sam are going for food as some next restaurant i'm taking you out Friday x

Why did I feel like I was being fought over?