Access Denied [J. JK FF : Completed✔]

49. Serenity

The surprise that Jungkook prepared ended a party at his mansion with the guys, Sunmi, Minji and Jin. It was a just a meal eaten together, like a family. Just an effort to give the cozy feeling of everyone getting together for something special.

Something I hadn't had in years.

That night Jin and I ended up staying over. While Jin was given the guest room, he gave me a teasing look.

"Where will you sleep?" He asks to tease Jungkook and me.

I see Jungkook visibly gulp and as he opens his mouth to answer, taehyung cuts him off.

"In his room like every other time she has stayed here." Taehyung says with a proud smirk.

Jungkook glares at him before the sound of Jin clearing his throat catches his attention. Jungkook faces Jin who has a blank expression.

The air is thick and dense while Jungkook's face expresses how uncomfortable he feels in this awkward situation. I look at Jin with narrowed eyes asking him to tone down his acting. Because I know he is secretly enjoying this a little too much.

Looking at my face, Jin snorts and bursts into laughter.

"You should have looked at your face!" Jin laughs making sounds like wind shield wiper while pointing Jungkook's face.

Jungkook gives a sigh of relief while everyone else laughs. He looks like he released a breath that he had been holding on for a while. I'm not going to lie, it felt bad to see everyone pulling his leg.

Apparently he didn't really date before me either. One night stands, yes. But not proper relationships.

I could see that happening. We both have secrets that aren't supposed to given out. The only difference is that he came clean about his part, I didn't.

Maybe he wouldn't have told me about his secrets if it hadn't been for that shooting incident.

I don't think he would ever find out. I'll have to disappear from his life in less than a month.

As I feel that hint of guilt and anxiety, I push the thought away and take his hand in him. Lacing our fingers together, I give him a reassuring smile. His eyes melt into crescents as he shows his bunny smile to me.

~*~

Standing on his balcony, the night breeze embraces me with it's cold arms while playing with my hair. It's a silent and calm night. I'm caught off guard when warm arms find their way around my waist. I feel his presence behind me, he places a quick kiss on my neck and proceeds to rest his chin on my shoulder.

"Its a beautiful night...just like you."

I giggle at the statement and add a "And like you.", to his sentence.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Did you give me a chance to not enjoy it?" I ask while I turn around to look up at him with a grin.

"Well I tried not to...did I succeed miss?"

"You sure did." I assure him and hook my arms behind his neck. He leans forward, making me close my eyes.

Those lips mold themselves with mine, dancing to rhythm to the silent music. One of his hands travel to the nape of neck, urging the kiss to be more desperate. Butterflies exploding in our stomachs, tagging this moment as serene.

The serenity is taken away from us when we have to break the kiss but his eyes...they were as deep as the forest pools, as if they could swallow my existence and yet be empty.

"Jungkook..." I call out.

He hums back, waiting for me to continue. I take a moment to rethink my decision and decide that, I would never get this moment again.

Here we go...

"...I- I love you...a lot."

And for the first time, my words held nothing but raw emotion and honesty.

He looks taken back for a while before chuckling.

"Aww, you sound like you're confessing to your high school crush for the first time...I know you love me, and I love you, a lot as well..." he tucks my hair behind my ear and looks at me with soft eyes.

I give him a tight smile.

It is my first time.

Why are you so good at catching me during my first times?

"I love you so much, it's scary at times. I don't know how and why I caught these feelings but you were so different. You felt like my own. You understood my pain...and you were so easy to open up to...I've caused you a lot of pain but I would make up for it if I got a chance. I've never known love outside this house. I was never given the chance go be friends with anyone outside this house. It was always just us six and our sisters. Our parents were either dead or too busy dealing with the underworld.

I'm pulling you into the dangerous waters by loving you, but can you really help it? I can't help myself Lyra, I'm too far deep. People fall in love, I rose in love as well. You're so precious to me and it's all so fast- it scares me. More than anything."

I see the tears well up in his eyes and it pains my heart to see his eyes get teary, to see him hurting and feeling so insecure.

It made me tearful in turn because this wasn't meant to be. I wasn't supposed to love him, I was not meant to be the one he would fall for.

I wish things would be different.

But at the same time I don't.

I want to be selfish, I want time to stop. I want to stay with him, comfort him through his pain and insecurities. Be honest when I say that I'll stay...

But I don't have a choice. The more I spend time with him, the more I wish to stay. Why?

This isn't me...

Maybe we we're after all two individuals in love living a lie....

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OH MY GAWD I ACTUALLY UPDATED.

Thankyou to joonieswoman coz she inspired me with the last line uwu

Also anyone up for a smut in coming chapters? ;)

- Sarisha💜