The Frotteurist (Paraphilia Series, 2)

Kabanata 30

Kabanata 30

NILAKAD namin ni Russell ang daan palabas sa bayan upang doon na sumakay ng taxi.

I scolded myself countless of times already. I was wearing a baggy top for Christ’s sake! Tapos ay ilang araw ko na rin paulit-ulit sinusuot itong jogging pants na suot ko ngayon. I wonder if I stank. I wonder if he could smell the stench out of me.

Mariin akong napikit at saka ay dumistansiya sa kaniya.

Napalingon siya sa akin nang namalayan niyang unti-unti lumalaki ang pagitan namin at  bumabagal rin anh lakad ko.

“Can’t we stay close to each other just this once?” he asked.

He wasn’t polite with that strike. He quite of snapped at me

Ilang beses akong napakurap. I’m pissing him off again. Without even meaning to.

Minabuti kong huwag na lang sumagot sa kaniya.

Kapag binuksan ko ang bibig ko ay lalo lamang siyang mabi-buwisit sa akin. Ayaw ko namang lakihan pa ang gulo namin, lalo na’t sa kaniya ako tutuloy ngayong gabi.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at saka ay hinawi siya sa hangin.

“Sige na, mauna ka na. Susundan kita.” sambit ko sa matigas na tono.

Binigyan niya ako ng isang tingin. Iniwas ko ang akin at saka ay sinubukang sumipol sa hangin.

I heard him snorted out of irritation for the first time again. Last time I saw him like this was in Teresita. In Millicent and Max’s wedding.

He strode towards me. Nag-angat agad ako ng isang mataray na kilay sa salubong niyang kilay. Agad niyang hinawakan ang pupulsuhan ko at saka na ako hinila palakad.

Napapikit na lang ako ng bahagya at hinayaan siyang dalhin ako kung saan. Sinikap ko pa ring magmabagal upang sa likod niya lang ako, at hindi sa tabi niya.

“Please, just act this once...” I heard him talk as we continued walking.

I could feel his grip on my wrist tightening. Naninibago yata ako sa kaniya at hindi siya gentle sa akin ngayon.

“Act like you can still stand the likes of me.”

Hindi na lang ako sumagot pa. As much as I want to elaborate the facts to him, I can’t. I don’t want to appear weird here. I learned that in college.

The likes of us… we’re Greek to normal people. They wouldn’t understand us.

He hailed a cab when we reached the waiting shed. Binitiwan rin agad niya ang kamay ko, dahilan upang magtungo ako sa isang mahabang bench at agad na naupo doon.

His hand lingered on my wrist. If it was daylight, I’m sure as hell that I would see the traces of his palm and fingers around my hand. He was holding me that tightly. Galit nga talaga siya sa akin.

Maybe, he already figured it out. I won’t change. Relationships with me is pure lust and sexual benefits. That’s all I can offer, and I’m not willing to change just because of him.

Makakahanap pa siguro ako ng iba… in the near future. When I’m already done with the whole idea of him.

May pumarang puting taxi sa harap ni Russell. He turned to find me. Agad niya akong sinenyasan nang makita niya ako sa bench ng waiting shed. Hinila ko na ang katawan ko patayo at saka ay sumunod na sa kaniya papasok sa loob ng cab.

***

“You just bought it?” I asked him noong pumasok kami sa isa sa malalaking apartment building sa San Juan City. Ang Emerald Apartment A. Building.