Despair Room

【️ confusing [ Part 2 ] 】️

Kokichi's POV

" Have you done it? "  I looked back to my only friend. I shook my head while directing my fo us back to my notebook to write down a few notes.
" Let's audition! " I gave him a hum in response giving my best to give half of my attention to his words.
" We don't even hang out anymore! You won't even focus at me! You're always busy! How mean! "  He complained throwing his arms in the air, throwing a tantrum. His eyes shut close and mouth frowned in displeasure. His seat was usually on the front but he sat on the chair in front of me straddling it just so he could face me without moving it too much. I sucked in my lower lip trying my best not to get distracted.
" hey hey hey Kokichiiiiii~! "  He called out in an annoying needy tone. I hurriedly wrote down my notes before closing my notebook to glare at him. He seems unsatisfied with my reaction despite persistently pestering me for my whole attention to be focused only at him.
" I don't like that look on you. My Kokichi doesn't defy me. " He glared back at me.

" w-well... People change and so did you. "  I spat bitterly surprisingly having my eyes on him didn't make my heart melt. I did miss him. I was out of school for so long since Junko took me in after my father died that day. I lived in her apartment room, her roommate if I dare to call myself that. I refused to go home to my stepmother fearing she might use me as her source of income using dirty work. Saihara never asked. He never texted or called me. He was just with Akamatsu. They were always flirting with each other ever since Saihara transferred here despite him claiming he only needed me. People are liars. People just use each other. But only she won't leave me. She won't throw me aside like Saihara did when I needed him. Besides... he only looks at me as Kyoshi's precious brother. I am nothing to him.

" I never peg You to talk back to me, Kokichi."  He growled back. I rolled my eyes and stood up. Fixing my stuff in my school bag as I took note of the flash of pink entering the school gate. " Where the fuck Do you think you're going? "

Refusing to look over to him, I remained stern with my composure and continued to fix my stuff until I closed my bag to lift it up. It was already time. He had already shown me that he only wanted Akamatsu. He had already answered me before that he preferred Akamatsu than me.
" To someone who actually w-wants me. "
I snapped back. I fought the tears building up. The heavy feeling of my heart weighting my body while I know he was near me. It was so hard to just distance yourself to someone you've grown attached to. Surely if he had begged or apologized to me, I would have stayed despite everything he had done to me. All that selfishness and ignorance towards my own feelings. Sadly, Saihara Shuichi is never the one to let himself lower his pride.
He is selfish.
He cares for only himself. Only the entertainment. Only for the thrill. Only to observe the people who he view as interesting.
Perhaps I am also one of those objects that he had grown bored of.

" Kokichi.! Don't you dare walk away! I'm talking to you! " He commanded. He was so relaxing to be with. He was my only friend outside of school back then but when he transferred. Maybe it was one of this school's trait to turn someone mean. To turn friends against each other. No wonder everyone I befriended became the one who lead me to hell. Backstabbers. Insults and bullying. Everyone was the same. Everyone acted the same to me. I really wouldn't matter to anyone here as long as I stay in this school.

I walked over to the door. My hand hovering to the handle, hesitantly. I felt bad for Saihara. I still wanted to be his friend but I knew he thought different of me. I'm not important to him than he is to me.
" W-well I'm done talking to you... " I opened the door without looking back. Stomping my foot one after the other in the hallway with a heavy heart.

" Kokichi~! " 

I looked up and forced a small smile. Her arms opened and waiting for me. My tears finally run down my cheeks and I threw myself to her. She embraced me and combed my hair on the back of my head with her right hand. She whispered reassurance and how I was not alone. Junko's with me. I'm important to her. I'm needed by her. She wouldn't leave me like the others. My hands grabbed a fistful of her white uniform shirt, my hands reaching behind her to embrace her while doing so. I rested my forehead on her shoulder. I ignoring the feeling of her tearing off my red band, that reminded my position in the Student council.
" I... I-i'm not... boring... "

.     .   .  . ...

" Hey. Kokichi. " I looked up and saw Momota smiling nervously down to me as I walked a little far from Saihara's room. I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to state his business. "Uh... It's just that. Sorry for hitting you a lot... and like yeah."

I closed my eyes and smiled.
" Bullshit. "

He seemed to misunderstand it as me accepting his apology since he placed his arm over my shoulders with a victorious smile. " THANKS MAN! You're such a sweetheart! "

Wincing at his loud voice, I continued to smile at him. The sudden image of Momota vomiting near the dormitory appeared in my head which made me chuckle.
" You're going to die soon huh? Is that why you're trying to apologize to me? " I smirked. His complexion paled while he eyed me in fear. My face darkened in glee feeling the need to make him more tense than he actually is already. " Trying to boost everyone's morals? Ha what a laugh. Then let me guess everyone hates me don't they? Did you guys tried to even include this Me with everyone else? To get along? Hypocrites. All you guys do is treat everyone who treats you nice but if there's a person who's complicated you'll gang up on them and treat them like criminals. "

" I... "

I placed a finger over my taunting lips and eyed him from top to bottom. " Well hypocrites need something to judge to be able to lie right? I don't mind~! " I spoke before skipping away and leaving the Astronaut glued on his place.