Cut Too Deep

Cut Too Deep [last of part 1]

You’d think her mom being a fashion designer would teach her a few tips.

I just ignore her when she arrives infront of me.

“Yo, freak girl. Anybody home.” She says hitting me in the head and laughing.

“Haha. Go away Missy.” I say.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs.

“Your so ugly, you know that. And you can never fit in here. I don’t even know why you still go here. Your going to amount to nothing. Nothing at all.” She says with venom in her voice.

“Great.” I say sarcastically. How many times have I heard that line. Oh I don’t know hundreds. From mom, dad, Natalie, people like Missy. Heck even little kids say it to me. I became immune to it. 

Finally the bus came to my rescue and I climbed on taking the first seat available.

THIRD PERIOD

Well everything went normal this morning. The usual thing with Missy then  I met up with Penelope when I reached school and we talked a while.

Penelope was one of my only two friends I have at school. She was very nice, bubbly and friendly, That’s why I liked being around her. But what concerns me is she hangs around Missy, and other people. What if she tells my secrets? Im just glad she risks her social standing to hang with me. And then theres Justin. People also make fun of him like they do me. But I comfort him and he does the same for me. We are so alike. His mom walked out on him and his adopted brother, Danny, when he was little and his dad is a junkie. He never knows when hes going to eat, or whether or not the bill's will be paid.

I cant really be bothered with the Math lesson so i plug my ipod into my ears
and pull out my Letter Journal.
Its were i write all my poems, and songs, and most inner thoughts
I start to think up some lyrics and before i know it i have a song.

"with clenched fists,
and slit wrists,
shes vulnerable
tears down her face,
locked in her place,
shes vulnerable

her heart races,
she winces in pain,
her head pounds
shes going insane
theres nothing else she can do
she was so in love with you

with clenched fists,
and slit wrists,
shes vulnerable
tears down her face,
locked in her place,
shes vulnerable.."
DIIINNGG
Time for lunch, i close my journal and stuff it away into my backpack..
On my way to lunch i stop by the water fountain, to take a quick sip.
The halls were clear by now. I was retriving my things from the ground
when i heard foot steps.
Oh no.
Its was Missy's boyfriend, Jeremy and the rest of his meat headed crew.
I try to get my stuff quicker but my backpack strap is hooked onto
the locker next to me.
"Sh­it sh­it­, sh­­it." i whisper.

"Hey why are you trying to run away?" Jeremy asks, the rest of them laughing.
I just continue trying to un hook my bag, but it wont budge,
For a second i contem­plate whether or not to leave it but i cant.
My Ipod, my journal are in there. My life is in there.
Time is running out and now there closing in on my.
4 of them against little ol me.

Jeremy pushed me up against the locker, his breath on my cheek.
He needed a tick tack.
"Your Ellen right?" He said twi­rling his finger around my hair.
"Uhm." i look around for an escape.
The other three guys arent really paying us any attention.
"I've heard alot about you. Your just the girl im looking for." He says slyly.
"What about Missy." I stutter.
"What about her?"
Oh god i cant take this. I knee him in the gut and make a run for it.
"Bas­tard" he yells.
All on que the other three guys come running after me.
One right on my tail and he jumps on my pulling me to the ground.
I can hear crunches in my shoulder as we roll around to a halt.

"Hold her still." Jeremy yells.
He comes limping to my side and muffles my screams.
One guy puts tape around my mouth and the other tie my hands
behind my back.
"Now you cant get away." he says.
They drag me into the boys locker room and start to undress me.
Please no. Please.
This started bringing back memories of when... I cant even finish.

Their eyes so violent. So cruel. There gleaming down at me with pleasured laughs.
I try to kick but they hold me down.
I give up.
What can i do. They are much stronger than I.
Finally im bare, down to my bra, and underwear.
"What to do with her. What to do." He says circling me.
"just leave her." One guy said. Ian.
"Naw, this thing needs to pay for hurting me. And for being such
a pain to Missy."
A Pain to MISSY! what the hell.

He stands me up and pulls my hair jamming me into the mirror.
"Look at yourself!" he says.
"Dude calm down." Ian tries.
"Yo shut up!" Jeremy hisses.
He slams my head into the mirror again. This time blood trickled
down where it broke skin.
"JEREMY! Man im out." Ian says rushing through the door.
So do the rest of the other guys.
"Why dont you at least try and be norm­al like the rest of us." he scolds.
I mean look at you.
And so i do.

I gaze at the refelection in the mirror.
Blood, across my forehead. .
I start to stare at those eyes. Those hazel eyes, and i can see right
through myself. I think i may have been carrying out this whole
sob story a little bit much and how everyone is just so horrible and how
my life su­cks. Maybe i shoud give it an effort.
I try and speak, but muffled sounds come out.
He rips the tape from my mouth.
"What." he says.
"Im sorry, for being such a weirdo." i try.
But it doesnt matter. He throws me to the ground and spits on me.
"Too late." he says stepping out of the bathroom.

I lie there in my blood, not moving.
Suddenly i see all these pretty colored stars,and swirlies.
My vision starts to blur and then it goes black.