Cut Too Deep

Cut Too Deep [part 2]

Part 2

I awoke to find myself in my bed.
"how did i?"
I yank myself up wishing i hadn't, because my head started hurting
so i fell back down.
"SShhh dont try to get up." a voice says.
I look over to see Iustin.

"Heey" he half whispers.
I croak a smile.
"How's your head?" he asks concern in his eyes.
"Its alright." i say getting up slowly this time.
He comes to sit next to me on my bedside.
"How did i get here?" i asked.

"Coach Kel. He said he was going to round up the guys for practice when he saw you laying there." He said.
"oh." i half whisper.
"Do you remember anything that happened?" he asked.
"Uhm not exactly." i say but i know perfectly well what happened.
I just dont want him to leave my side.
I move a little closer and watched him as he talked and explained
how Ian confessed and everything. They got 3 day suspension.
I make a noise in my throat. Not really knowing what to say about the situation.

I move closer to Justin. I dont know why but i wanted him in that instance.
"Hold me." i say looking up into his blue eyes.
"W-w-what?" he asks. looking shocked.
"Hold me." i say once again never looking away.
"Uhm."
I can see the uncomfortable look in his face.
me and Justin have never really been the type of friends to express
our love for each other through physical means. So i'm not surpsrise
he's reacting like this.

I kind of new always in the back of my mind
he had feelings for me. More than friends but i always pushed
them far back not letting them surface.
But in that moment i let them fall free into my mind
and memory.
I wanted to be here with him and i know he wanted to be here with me.
I moved over into his arms and laid against his chest.
At first his body was stiff and tense. Not really moving but after a while
he relaxed realizing that i was going anywhere.
I laid there in my short shorts and tank a complete mess
and just let the warmth of his body comfort me.

He started to gently caress my hair, making a tangled red mess in his hands.
Sometimes i hated my red hair. It was too out there and didnt fit
me at all but the main reason is because i get it from my father.
I want nothing to do with him.
"Sooo.." Justin says into my hair.
"what?" i ask.
"I dont know. its just weird being here.. i mean i dont regret coming or im not saying your weird it just. You know." he says confused.
"yeah i know what you mean." but i really had no idea.

Then I remember that email Peter sent me.
I break away from his embrace and face him.
"Justin, please be honest. Am i ugly? In all honesty. Would you
date a girl like me?" i ask suddenly curious.
He twists his eyebrows.
"No." he says.
Major let down

I start to get off the bed but he pulls me back into him.
"No you arent ugly. Your beautiful." he says with a serious tone.
"No. I wouldnt date a girl like you. I would love her." 
I start to feel all tingly inside and can tell im about to blush.
To hide my face i bury it into his chest.
He puts his fingers under my chin and lifts it towards him.
Oh no.
I have never kissed a boy before how was i suppose to know what to do?
Justin has had enough girlfriends to be exprienced.
What if im bad? What if i cant kiss.

He stared down into my eyes. Looking intense and strong.
He pulled my chin closer to his lips and finally they touched.
But barely. It was like he was savoring them there.
I never knew my first kiss would be with him. He pulled me closer
into him so that i was sitting on his lap.
He let go of my chin and placed his hand on my face tracing the lines
of my eyes and lips with his thumb.
I put my hand over his and leaned into him letting our lips do the rest.
I liked how i felt when i was with him, so natural, i didnt have to think about
a thing. Our lips moved in sync with each other's. Now i knew why
everyone liked kissing.
It was glorious and magical.