It was a beautiful Friday afternoon. We hadn’t had school that day because of staff meetings so I was planning on spending two hours with Peter and then two with Justin. As I entered Peter’s drive way I say another car there. It looked familiar. I knocked on the door and received no answer so I walked around the back and found the key under the mat that I use to sneak in at midnight when his parents are asleep.
“Peter! Im here!” I yelled up the steps. But no answer.
I walk up with each creaking step I can hear voices.
What the?
I walk up and up and stop at Peter’s door. Low and behold what I had feared all along. Yael and Peter. In a position I have never even seen let alone probably heard of. Great just great. But I saw it coming in a way. But what made it so bad was Peter had the audacity to ask if I wanted to join them! For a second I was going to agree but went against it. Instead I slapped him, even though Yael was stark naked sitting ontop of him, literally riding him! Then I punched her in the face and ran away. Once I was down the street I realized that not only had a I just given up a boyfriend but I’m sure I lost my drug connection as well. For Yael wouldn’t want to help me out after I just sucker punched her. I ran all the way to Justin’s house and threw a rock at his window, tears streaming my face.
He yelled down the window and said that the door was open, so I walked up to his room. And again. There another female! Instead it was Missy. They were fully clothed, but the way her hair was sort of tangled and matted and his clothes tattered and wrinkled, I could tell they weren’t just talking. Not again. Everything came crashing down on me like a rock being dropped from 1000 feet high. I closed my eyes and wondered why this had to happen to me. Why did I have to always get the short end of things?
Unable to see because of so many tears I ran home and found all my things on the lawn with a note attached to the door. It was from my mom. I plucked it off and read each sentence carefully.
Dear Ellen,
Me and your Father think its best that you found another place to stay. You are constantly rebelling against us plus we found drugs in your room. We cant take it anymore. You’re a horrible person, liar, and stealer. Remember when I asked you if you found a credit card in the mail about six months ago and you said no. Well guess what? We got the bill today and see what you spent it all on.
1. Beer
2. Cigarettes
3. A 1,000 with drawl
You have some issues we can’t take care of for you. You want to be a big girl then figure it out on your own. You obviously don’t need us.
Out of love,
Mom, Dad, and Natalie.
Ps. We changed the locks. So don’t bother.
Those bastards! How dare they lock me! Out of my own house!
I ran up to the door and tried my key.
No luck.
Only other place was through my window. I grabbed a ladder from the tool shed and climbed up to my window.
I pushed it in and it gave an approving click.
“Take that you fucking bitch ass drunk!” I yelled flicking off whatever was below me, which was suppose to telepathically transfer to my mother. I put all of my things back in my room and proceeded to cry. Being alone, was the last thing I wanted to do. Just like old times, my hair was tied back and I was wearing my rattled old tank with my short shorts sitting on my bed with my Ipod in my ears listening to Flyleaf. Lacey’s voice swirled into my ears and through my mind. The weight of what I have been doing lately falls quickly and sharp on my shoulders as each lyric is said.
“I won't be satisfied with okay
And I can't be okay with alright
So point me to the edge of life
I'll stand up on my toes
Stretch my fingers out to there and bring it back here”
Mainly on the chorus:
“It's too important for us to forget
We'll unify our thoughts
God will hear and save
God will hear and save us”
Abruptly, I remembered what Lacey had told me at her concert.
“God is here for me, he always has and always will be. I just need to except him my heart truly, and repent.”
Reluctantly, I got down on my knees by my bedside, mascara water lines down my cheeks and placed my hands together.
“Uhm, God, Sir, can you hear me? It’s me Ellen. I know im like this huge failure and like im probably the worst person on this planet but I was wondering if you could forgive me. I know its probably too late but I just wanted to say that im sorry. For everything and that I just wish it would all go back to normal. Lord please intervene in my life and make everything okay. I need you right now because obviously no one else wants to be here for me. Even though you’re here for me all the time.
Amen.”
As I sat up in my bed again it felt like a load had been lifted off of my shoulder and I rolled over facing the wall, sleeping perfectly.
YOU ARE READING
Cut Too Deep
Teen FictionEllen Dodson is not your average high school girl. She has depression and no friends. When Ellen was younger her father cheated with a next door neighbor leaving Ellen, her sister Natalie, and her mother Linda to fend for themselves. Linda is a alco...
