all too well | ethma

One

Emma's POV

I stared down at my half-eaten muffin as I waited for my coffee to finish brewing.

I guess I was staring a little too intensely at my muffin because the next thing I heard was,

"Em, you okay? You've been staring at that muffin for five minutes now."

"Huh? Yeah. I just—yeah. I'm okay, Liv."

Her eyes searched mine with concern, trying to figure out what was up.

I was thankful that she stayed silent. I guess that she knows I'll get even more upset if she tries to pry answers out of me.

I got my cup of coffee from the machine before I poured it into a cup of ice and almond milk. Just the way I like it.

We had a few minutes before we needed to leave for the airport. The whole crew was going on a trip to Florida for the summer, and staying at Olivia's beach house.

Joey was even coming with us. He could work from anywhere as long as he had his laptop and an internet connection, which wasn't gonna be a problem.

Ethan and I have been doing okay, but there's still some tension between us. I guess that's what happens when you jump back into a relationship without getting your issues out of the way first.

Olivia and I grabbed our suitcases, and headed out the door.

We were meeting everyone in front of the building.

Surprisingly, Ethan and Grayson were the first ones there. Actually, I guess that's not that surprising. Grayson probably made sure Ethan was ready on time, and there was probably a twin screaming match involved.

Ethan wrapped his arms around me in a gentle hug, and I rested my head on his chest.

"Hey, Emma. You okay?" He said, his voice soft.

I glanced up at him, and his eyes laced with concern.

"Are we okay?" I asked, my voice quiet enough so that our friends wouldn't hear our conversation.

His grip got tighter around me, and he let out a deep breath. "Of course we're okay, baby. Relax. This summer is all about having fun."

That was his first mistake right there. Telling me to relax. I let out a huff and pulled away from him. I wasn't in the mood for this.

"I'm sitting with Olivia on the plane by the way." I told him.

"Okay. I'll sit with Grayson I guess."

I nodded before I walked over to Olivia, Joey and Grayson.

Ethan stood there for a minute before he joined us.

Once Katie, Scooter and Ian arrived, we got into two cars and left for the airport.

Of course Ethan took the other car. What happened to us? We used to be attached at the hip, and now he's acting like he's not even trying.

I was feeling a little bit sick in the car ride to the airport, but I've been car sick before, so I didn't think anything of it.

This month I've been feeling kind of down. Between the seventh anniversary of my parents' dying being next week, and the tension between Ethan and I, I've been feeling pretty bummed out. I guess you could say I was feeling sad.

While we were waiting to board the plane, I fell asleep with my head on my brother's shoulder. He was the only person I honestly felt like being around. I missed mom and dad too much to have any energy for our friends.

I think Olivia was starting to pick up on it, and so was Ethan.

Once we finally boarded the plane, I fell asleep with my neck pillow, and I slept for the whole flight.

I felt like I could only focus on two things, and that was everything going on with Ethan and I, and my parents.

That's why I can barely remember the rental care ride from the airport to the beach house.

Once we got there, it was already around 9 at night, which is usually early for my friends and I, but once we all picked our rooms, I laid down for the night.

I felt a dip in the bed, and the familiar touch of the boy I loved on my shoulder.

"Emma, are you doing okay?"

I already felt like crying. Oh no.

A tear slipped out of my eye even though it was closed, and I told Ethan that I was fine.

"Emma, you can talk to me. I'm here for you."

"I just need to be alone right now."

He brushed my hair off of my face before leaning down to kiss me on the cheek.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me, okay? Or if you need to, just text me and I'll come back up. Seriously. If you need anything, I'm here for you, Emma. I love you."

I nodded, my eyes still closed as I mumbled a "love you" back.

Why didn't it feel the same anymore?

What's wrong with me? Why am I still heartbroken about our breakup when we are back together? Am I just upset about my parents and using him as a distraction from them?

I cried myself to sleep, and the worst part about that is when I woke up at 3 AM, the other side of the bed was still empty.

I went downstairs for a glass of water, and Ethan was sound asleep in the recliner chair in the living room.

Did he fall asleep there on accident, or did he not want to sleep in our bed?

I got my glass of water and went back upstairs, and I couldn't fall back asleep.

I couldn't tell if I was sad, or if I was angry at Ethan, but I felt hurt.

So, I went outside to the balcony, so I could watch the ocean.

The moonlight was bright enough for me to see the waves rolling in. It was mesmerizing.

I didn't even notice the door opening before Joey sat down next to me.

"What are you doing out here so late?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm just worried about me and Ethan. He fell asleep downstairs. He didn't even bother to come upstairs to bed. We've been tense since we've gotten back together. I just don't know where we stand right now."

Joey put his arm around me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay, sis. I'm here for you, alright?"

I nodded. "Thanks, Joe. I should go back inside.

"Get some sleep, kiddo." He said as I slipped back into the house.

I went back to bed, and sure enough Ethan still wasn't there, so I let my thoughts consume me until I finally fell back asleep.