all too well | ethma

Three

Emma's POV
Three Days Later

My stomach bug hasn't improved at all, but I managed to go to the store and get some medicine yesterday. It's helped a little bit.

Ethan and I are doing okay, but still not back to normal. Little things have gotten the best of us, and we still just weren't clicking like we used to.

We went to a pizza parlor for lunch today with everyone, and I was still feeling sad because of everything.

While we were looking at the menu, Ethan took my hand, but I only intertwined my pinky with his.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see his eyebrows furrow, and he leaned over to my ear.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Ethan."

Yet I can't stop thinking about what's going on between us.

"You sure?"

I looked over at the door, and then I looked back at Ethan.

"Can we talk outside?" I whispered.

Ethan nodded, and we got up and headed outside to the bench that was in front of the restaurant.

We sat down, and he put his hand on my knee.

"Emma, what's going on?"

"I'm just worried about us, E."

"Why?"

"We haven't been the same lately. Something feels off. I don't know."

"Is this because I fell asleep downstairs the other day?"

"That's part of it I guess. It's just—I-I feel like you're falling out of love with me." I whispered. I couldn't say it out loud.

He squeezed my knee.

"Emma, I'm still in love with you."

"Then why aren't you acting the same? I mean, we used to be inseparable, and now I feel like you're being distant."

He scoffed. "Yeah because you not telling me what's wrong, and telling me to leave you alone is actually me being distant."

"Ethan, that's not what I'm talking about."

"Emma, I seriously can't believe we're having this conversation right now."

"Ethan, I'm sitting here trying to fix us, and all you do is get mad at me."

"Yeah. Well, maybe we just can't be fixed, Emma. Did you think about that? You do nothing except shut me out."

"Maybe I need to be alone sometimes."

"Yeah? Well, maybe we should take a break."

"Ethan—"

"No, Emma. It's clear to me that right now is just not a good time for us."

"Please don't do this. We can work it out."

"Obviously not because according to you I'll just get mad at you."

"I just don't get what happened to us. You know what? I don't feel good. Tell everyone that I caught a cab back to the beach house because I felt sick to my stomach again." I said, ordering an Uber on my phone.

Ethan just shrugged and said. "Maybe we just need time to figure this out."

"My uber's here." I said, walking away. I glanced back when the car started driving away, and Ethan was still sitting on the bench.

Once I got back to the beach house, I felt so stressed and upset that I threw up again.

But, I think there's only one thing I can do right now. And that's go home.

I found a cheap flight back to LA tomorrow morning, and I think it's for the best.

I got all of my stuff packed, and Ethan came into the room to check on me.

"Emma, why are you packing?" He asked, his voice soft but laced with concern.

"I think I just need to go back to California for a couple of weeks?"

"All by yourself?"

"Ethan, I just—I just think that the best thing we can do to save us is to give ourselves a little time and space. I'm also just really homesick."

He nodded. "At least let me drive you to the airport. When's your flight?"

"Tomorrow at 8 am."

"Okay."

He held out his arms. "Come here."

I sat down next to him, and he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Emma."

"I know. I just think that these couple of weeks will be good for us. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think we just need time and space."

He nodded. "We'll be okay at the end of this."

"I hope so."

"Emma, I know so."

"Stop talking. Just hold me."

-

The car ride to the airport was silent, but at least Ethan and I weren't fighting.

I made myself eat a breakfast sandwich before I boarded the plane. Hopefully I'd finally be able to keep something down.

But in the middle of the flight I threw up yet again.

The rest of the flight I just slept.

Low and behold, I was back in California, and as soon as I stepped into the fresh Los Angeles air, I knew this was what I needed.

I ubered to my apartment, and then I grabbed my car keys and headed out.

I went to the flower shop and bought some fresh flowers for my mom and dad's graves. This is what I needed to be doing. I felt too guilty to be in Florida this week.

So, I put the flowers on the vases at the graves, and I sat there in the grass in front of their stones.

I just talked all of my feelings out, and it was truly refreshing to just talk to them again.

The sun was shining down, and I knew it was because they were listening to me.

After that, I went to my studio and danced for a couple of hours, pleasantly surprised to see that Ethan texted me.

Ethan: did you make it home okay?

Emma: yeah. I'm at the studio

Ethan: dance your heart out :)

Emma: :)

Maybe I was right. Time and space is what we need.

When I got home I ordered a sub sandwich on postmates, but I couldn't keep it down.

It suddenly occurred to me that my period was a week late.

"No. No no no no no no no. This can't be happening."

Cue another throw up, me rushing to get my shoes on and running downstairs and outside to get to my car.

Driving to the convenient store, buying a test, and rushing back to my apartment.

I took three just to be sure, but I still couldn't believe that this was happening. 

Suddenly, I was staring down at three positive pregnancy tests, and I wondered how angry Ethan was gonna be.