all too well | ethma

Ten

Emma

I woke up, and Ethan's hand was gently placed on my stomach. I glanced over at him, and had to hold back laughter at the way his body was fully sprawled out across the bed as he laid on his stomach.

And he says I'm the bed hog.

His mouth was wide open, and there was a tiny pool of drool on his pillow. His hair was a bit ruffled, and once in a while his eyebrows twitched.

I couldn't help but think about the fact that Ethan and I are going to be parents to a small little baby. We're so young, Ethan being almost 20 and a half, and myself having just turned twenty. In a way we're still growing up ourselves. Navigating college, and soon having to provide for our family.

We're gonna have a house soon.

I know as long as Ethan and I are together that we'll be just fine.

Still looking at him, I ran my fingers softly through his hair, gently caressing his face with my thumb as I circled my fingers back around to his hair.

He's gonna be a father, and yet somehow he still has an in-between-man-and-boy-ish look to him. It's mostly when he's sleeping, or when he's smiling, but I couldn't help but smile about it. He's really cute.

I thought about how beautiful he is. His confidence being enough to make him stand out, and not take shit from anybody, but in a humble way. He's so attractive, and the sexiest guy in the world to me. I'm not talking just about his looks, but his personality too. He's so incredibly funny, and he's so sweet to me. Everything that he's ever done or said has been in my best interest—out of love, because he somehow always knew what was best for my well being.

I thought about how this baby is a miracle for us because Ethan and I almost lost sight of everything that binds us together a couple. We almost lost sight of the important parts of our relationship. Letting little things get in the way of the simple fact that we love each other. The baby made us realize that what we were fighting about was pointless. The baby made us realize how much we love each other, and that we could get through anything as long as we communicated correctly. Since finding out about the little one, we've made sure to tell each other everything about how we feel, and to communicate rather than hold things in and make things worse.

With better communication, we've been thriving.

As I sat there in bed, still playing with Ethan's hair, his mouth closed, and he licked his lips in his sleep before smiling, never opening his eyes.

"Are you staring at me, babe?" He asked.

I felt my face flush as a smile crept onto my lips. "How'd you know?" I asked, ceasing the running of my fingers through his hair.

He grabbed my hand. "No, don't stop." he whispered.

I started playing with his hair again, and he finally opened his eyes.

"I could feel your eyes on me."

"I can't help it. You look so cute while you sleep. I hope our baby looks like you in their sleep."

He smiled, rolling over so that he was laying on his back, and then he scooted towards me.

"I think our baby will look equally like you and me."

"Yeah?" I asked. "I find that funny because Joey looks exactly like my dad. Maybe a tad like my mom when he makes certain faces, but he definitely looks more like my dad than my mom. So maybe the baby will look more like one of us than the other."

"Maybe we'll have more than one, and they'll each look more like one of us. One would look like me, and the other like you."

"Yeah. That's how Joey and I are. He looks like my dad, and I look like my mom."

Ethan sat up before leaning over and kissing my stomach. "Baby, baby. What are we gonna call you?"

I ran my hands through his hair again as he faced me and propped himself on his elbow, putting his hand on my stomach. I wasn't far enough along to have a bump yet, but Ethan was still obsessed with my belly.

I put my hand on top of his, and ran my thumb across his knuckles.

"Do you have any names you like?" I asked.

He smiled at me. "Well, since we're having a boy—"

I cut him off, smiling back at him. "We don't know that yet."

"I can tell." He boasted. "Since we're having a boy, I came up with a list of names."

"Okay. What are they?" I asked.

He sat back up before grabbing his phone off of the nightstand. "They're in my notes."

He scrolled on his phone for a minute before he started. "Okay. We have Rhett, Felix, Finn, Salinger, Thomas, but we'd call him Tommy, Wyatt, and lastly but not least, Jack. It's simple."

"I really like Tommy, Felix, Wyatt and Jack. Those are cute."

"Which last name will the baby have?" He asked.

"Your last name, you goon."

"I didn't know." He said. "We're not exactly married or anything yet."

"Exactly. We're gonna be together anyway, so the baby gets your last name, Dolan." I responded, not even realizing that he said 'yet' after 'we're not married'.

"And maybe you'll have the same last name someday." He said, winking at me. Did he just hint that he's gonna propose?

"You think we'll get married?" I asked.

He took my hand in his. "Of course. You're the love of my fucking life, Emma. I can't live without you. That time while we were broken up sure I was physically alive, but I wasn't living. You're my best friend, and the beautiful mother of my child. You're the sexiest girlfriend in the universe, and most importantly, you're the girl that has my heart locked up in a safe somewhere, and the key was  washed away in the ocean, never to be found again. The only other people that will ever share my heart with you," he said, putting his hand back on my stomach, "are our babies. I made the mistake of letting you go once. I'm never going to make the same mistake ever again. You're mine, and I intend to keep it that way. I love you, Emma."

I reached over and cupped his cheek with my hand, leaning over to kiss him.

"I love you too." I whispered against his lips. He smiled, pecking me again, before trailing kisses up my jaw and to the spot under my ear.

"Can we make love now?" He whispered, pulling back to look me in the eyes.

I smiled, pressing my forehead against his.

"I would love to."