Just Before The Dawn [DaeJae]

Fourty Two

special t/w for this one. im sorry. 

A few days later, Daehyun had come to Youngjae's place after school. They did a little bit for school, then went to play video games. 

"I'll be right back." Daehyun said after a while and left for the bathroom. 

Youngjae put his controller aside and stretched his arms, yawning. They had been playing for hours and he felt hungry. Then, he remembered they had bought cookies earlier, so he went to grab Daehyun's bag and took out the pack of cookies, when a scrunched-up ball of paper fell out. He was about to throw it back in, when he noticed his own handwriting on it and unfolded it. 

When Daehyun came back to the younger's room, he found Youngjae sitting on the floor next to the bed. The boy had some paper clenched in his fist, which he now threw at Daehyun, before the tears started leaving his eyes. Before the older could say a word, Youngjae wiped the tears off with his sleeve. "Why?" he asked. "Why are you doing this to me? I thought..." he sobbed. "I thought you were my friend..." 

Daehyun was speechless. He looked at the paper the boy had thrown and shook his head. "I- I don't know what you're talking about..." 

"Stop it... I found this in your bag, stop lying to me..." Another sob. "Was that the plan all the time? Tricking me into trusting you?" 

Daehyun could not get out a single word. He had no idea wat was going on. 

"Leave." 

"What?" 

"Leave me alone, Daehyun. I never want to see you again." The boy got up and went over to him. 

"Jae please I don't know what is going on, we can talk about everything, okay? Just calm down and we can sort this out together." He reached out, wanting to take the boy's hand, but before he could touch him, Youngjae slapped him. 

"I said leave... Get the fuck away from me." 

Shocked, Daehyun raised his hand, carefully touching his burning cheek. A feeling of despair mixed with sadness crept through his body, making him tear up. "Fine. As you wish." he said quietly, taking his bag. The moment he had stepped through the door, the younger slammed it behind him, turning the key. 

Youngjae sank onto the floor, not able to hold back the tears anymore. He felt so full of pain and so empty at the same time, as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He should have listened to Mina. She had been telling him the whole time. He felt so stupid, he should have known it, he should never have let Daehyun become a part of his life. Jumin had been right. How could he have thought that anyone would ever want to be his friend? 

It took him almost two hours to calm down. When he finally was able to get up from the floor, he went over to the bed, his whole body shaking. He felt weak and tired from crying and so it did not take long for him to fall asleep. 

In his dream, Jumin was chasing him once again. He ran up a hill, the other close behind him, when suddenly, the ground broke away and he fell, managing to take hold of the root of a tree that stuck out of the cliff. His hand was about to slip off, when he suddenly heard Daehyun's voice. Then, the older's appeared on the edge of the cliff he was hanging from, reaching out for the boy. 

"Help me" Youngjae begged, his free hand reaching up. Daehyun smiled and took hold of him, but did not pull him up. Instead, he started speaking. 

"You know, Youngjae, you're really even dumber than we thought. How could you fall for me?" He laughed. "We had a lot of fun with you, but it's time to.... let go..." and with that, he pulled his hand back and Youngjae fell, hearing the mixed laughter of Daehyun and Jumin, before he hit the ground. 

Youngjae opened his eyes. He had barely even slept half an hour, as a look at the time told him, and he felt sick. His whole body felt like it wasn't really there, like it didn't belong to him. It was the most horrible thing he had ever felt and he wanted it to stop at all cost. All the hatred and the pain he kept experiencing made him feel like, if there was some kind of god, this god had just created him to suffer. 

Daehyun had been the only spark of hope for him, the reason to believe that things could really get better one day, and now even he was gone. Somehow, Youngjae wished he had not kicked him out. He wished Daehyun was with him to comfort him, to hug him, to make him smile again, like he had done so often. Remembering all these wonderful moments, he suddenly did not feel so sure anymore if Daehyun had really just played with him. But even if that wasn't the case, the older probably hated him now after what happened earlier. After all, Youngjae had physically hurt him. Now, he had nobody left. He was all alone, and it was his own fault. 

The boy did not even realize he had started crying again. He got up and went to the kitchen, where he found a bottle of wine in his cupboard he had forgotten about. As he looked at it, a thought struck his mind and he went back to his room, the bottle in his hand. Then, he opened a drawer of his bedside table, taking out a small box in which he stored all kinds of medication.