The girl with secrets

Thirty Two

It's currently midnight and i'm sat on the balcony trying to finish writing a song i've been writing for years.

"ive been all alone, i've been up all night" i sing reading the lyrics of my notepad

"you were with a girl you don't even know why" i sing gently

"thought i wouldn't care, keep forgetting to leave us behind" i sing "us behind"

"now i'm insecure, wishing you were mine
in love with someone else
hope she's treating you right
thought i wouldn't care, keep forgetting to leave us behind" i sing before stopping and throwing the notepad inside my room and i let out a frustrated sigh

"that was great" Finn says and i look at him as he makes his way into the balcony and i make my way to the edge and lean on the railing.

"thanks, Izzy and i wrote it together" i say and he stands next to me

"why don't you write something for yourself?" he asks

"maybe" i say

"what's up?" he asks

"not much, you?" i ask

"Why are you upset with me Rapunzel?" he asks

I close my eyes.

"shouldn't you get back to your girlfriend or something? I'm sure she's wondering where you are"i ask

"she's not my girlfriend" he says

I scoff, "well tell that to her"

I turn away from him and i feel him get closer behind me, "Holly" he says quietly with his breath grazing my neck and i feel his hands lightly touch my waist to spin me around so i am facing him. His hands sends tingles on my body and i want to kiss him to badly right now.

When he spun me around i don't think he realised how close we were until I look up at him and his eyes glance to my lips and i find myself leaning in.

"i... uh" i say hesitating away

"what's stopping you?" he asks and out faces are only a few cents metres

"Finn!" a voice shouts from his room "baby i'm here!"

"I can't have you" i whisper shakily before walking into my room

"what are you doing out here?" i hear her ask him

"nothing" he says and i close the balcony door.

6 hours later.

I wake up and check my phone.

Half six.

I sigh and get up knowing that if i go back to sleep ill sleep in for about six more hours and won't sleep tonight.

I make my way downstairs and sit at the piano.

Write something for yourself.

AN: play song at top

"I get a little jealous, I get a little sad
'Cause I know you're not coming home tonight
Why are you so reckless?
When it makes me mad
Doing shit that I don't mean to get you back" i sing picking a few chords to use every time

"I'm missing those days
Driving home alone
Playing your music, crying to our song
Everything has changed
You got a girlfriend, now I'm just a friend
I wanna be more than"

"That boy,bad boy
Made me fall in love, more than anyone
Wish that I could keep
That boy, bad boy
Made me feel too much, now I don't feel enough, no
That boy, bad boy (That boy, bad)
That boy, bad boy
That boy, bad boy (That boy, bad)
That boy, bad boy"

"I get a little jealous
Each time you want me back (Each time you want me back)
Yeah, I know, you got another girl, another girl tonight
Why are you so selfish?
Missing bodies, heart attack
Yeah, I know, you got another girl, another girl tonight (Tonight)"

"I'm missing those days
Driving home alone
Playing your music, crying to our song
Everything has changed
You got a girlfriend, now I'm just a friend
I wanna be more than"

"That boy, bad boy
Made me fall in love, more than anyone
Wish that I could keep
That boy, bad boy
Made me feel too much, now I don't feel enough, no (Feel enough, no)
That boy, bad boy
That boy, bad boy
That boy, bad boy
That boy, bad boy"

"And the days when you would call me
Say you're sorry, say you love me, you don't want me" i feel a tear run down the side of my face

"That boy, bad boy
That boy, bad
That boy, bad
That boy, bad"

I hear someone clap behind me and i turn to see Issac standing there.

"Sorry did i wake you?" i ask

"no i was up half an hour ago, i'm about to go for a run" he says and i nod before glancing at the piano

"hey" he says walking up to me

"you okay?"

I shake my head and he pulls me into a hug.

"i don't want him to be with her either" he says

"i just... i don't know what to do" i say crying into his arms

"i know" he says

"he's with her and he'll never get with me. Why would he? I mean come on look at me, she's prefect and i'm. Well i'm just Holly" i say pulling away from him

"your not just holly, your the amazing, talented, beautiful Holly" Ryder says all of a sudden pulling me into a side hug

"did i wake you?" i ask

"Holly stop being so caring about everyone else. You need to put yourself first. Be selfish. If you want something. Go get it" Ryder tells me

"Yeah be selfish" Issac says before disappearing

Be selfish.