Collateral Damage (snowbarry)

1:52

"I hate this." Cisco mumbles.

Caitlin turns to look at him and sees him mindlessly tapping away on the keyboard.

"Cisco if you keep that up you might accidentally screw up the calculations." She reaches over and pulls his hand away from the keys.

"That'd be a real shame wouldn't it. We'd have to run them again. Postpone this whole thing. Maybe even forget it completely."

"Cisco..." Caitlin says, turning in her chair to face him. "I hate this too." She says softly.

"Then why are you going along with it?" He asks, half-scolding.

"Because...it's not my choice. Ultimately, it's Barry's. And the only way he can feel confident in whatever choice he makes is if all the variables are already laid out when he makes it."

"Okay, and what about the variable of all of our lives changing and us not remembering it and you and I never meeting him?" Cisco rambles out.

"He knows that."

"He's family, Caitlin. And we're gonna lose him." Cisco looks down at his hands that are clasped together in his lap.

"We won't remember that we lost him. And it's us or his mom. Which would you choose?" She asks, sticking her head up under his to make him look at her.

"I wouldn't want to choose." He whispers.

"Neither would I." She says, smiling weakly at him. "So, all we can do is support him."

"You get someone back too." Cisco points out. "Do you want him to go back?"

"I...I don't...no. No, I don't. I made peace with my father's death a long time ago. I miss him every single day, but he's gone, and I know he'd be proud of who I am and what I've done. I like my life. With you. With Barry. I'm not ready to give that up."

"Then tell him that." Cisco begs in a whisper.

"I can't make the decision for him Cisco. And my dad died in a car crash. It was much easier to make peace. Barry's mom was murdered. He spent his whole life chasing that. And now it's here. He will either make peace with it now, or he'll go back. We can't take that from him. We just have to trust that he'll make the decision that's best for all of us. Whatever that is."

"I don't want to lose him." Cisco says looking up at Caitlin. "I don't want to lose you."

Caitlin smiles back at him. "We're family Cisco. It's been you and me through all of this. We'll find each other. I know we will."

"Any universe?" He asks with a child-like pleading look on his face.

"Every universe." She says, pulling him in for a hug.

He hugs her back and buries his head in her shoulder. She can hear him sniffling and she holds back a laugh at how young he seems right now. She feels him reaching for the desk and turns to see him pushing their chairs away from the desk.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"Rolling away."

"From?" She asks, amused.

"The calculations are done. I don't want to see them." He admits, pulling away from her.

She laughs and turns to see the screen. "Damn." She says under her breath.

"What is it?" Cisco asks, wheeling up next to her.

"Barry's speed. To open the portal, he'll need to go faster than he's ever gone."