The Car Crash Club • Monsta X

xi.

Monday came, and Hyungwon returned to classes for the first time in over a week. He didn't know how to check his grades because he wasn't at all invested in his academic success, merely in burning time off his life clock, but he knew that he had to have been failing everything since he couldn't clearly recall turning a single assignment in, ever.

Even though it was his first time out of the house in a while, he was still careful to wear a hoodie and mask to cover most of his face. He was fully prepared to slip back into an anonymous existence when he felt an arm set down across his back, a hand landing on his shoulder. Annoyance shot through him even though he didn't bother looking over; he knew who it was without looking, and that upset him even more. Why should he know that? When had that knowledge become meaningful?

"What," he said shortly, feeling other people's eyes begin to notice him now that Jooheon seemed to be catching their attention, and now him as collateral.

"So cold," Jooheon said with an easy laugh, either impervious to taking hints or too stubborn to be brushed off. Hyungwon thought it was likely a combination of the two. "I was waiting for you to call me all weekend, and you never did. I have to say, I was disappointed."

"I remember explicitly informing you that I would not contact you," Hyungwon said. "And besides, your handwriting is so horrible that I couldn't read the number," he mumbled.

Jooheon grinned in victory, and Hyungwon hated it, hated that he had let someone else win by exposing an incomprehensible moment of need. Hyungwon brushed Jooheon's arm off of him, and if Jooheon was surprised by his sudden change in attitude, he didn't say anything, just tucked the hand into his pocket. "Are you going to come to club this week?"

"No."

"Great, it's on Thursday, okay? Don't forget. Thursday."

"I'm not going."

"Sounds good, I'll let the guys know that you'll be there," Jooheon said, pulling his hand out of his pocket to give Hyungwon a light smack on his arm. "I gotta go. See you around."

Hyungwon just stared after him, his mouth hanging open a bit in protest, but he quickly shut it and kept walking when he felt people looking at him, making sure to keep his head down.

Ridiculous. That was what Hyungwon thought of Jooheon's presumptuous behavior. He wasn't going to call him, and he was most certainly not going to go to their club on Thursday.

--

Hyungwon hesitated outside the door frame, the voices from within the room filtering outside. Honestly. He didn't know why he'd come. It was fairly apparent to him at the moment that he shouldn't have. He'd basically stormed out last time. He'd acted so childish and immature. Which honestly, he was, and he didn't want to have to apologize for. And he didn't come here to apologize. So why-

"Hey, you made it," came a voice from behind him, and Hyungwon turned to see Jooheon descending the stairs, a surprised look on his face.

"Well, you told me I would be here," Hyungwon mumbled.

"I'm glad you came," Jooheon said, his smile guileless, and Hyungwon frowned because he just couldn't figure this kid out at all. What did he want from Hyungwon?

"Just to, you know, stop by, which I have, so now I'll be-" Hyungwon began, already starting to walk away from the heavy weight of Jooheon's expectations, but a hand on his sleeve was pulling him towards the door frame.

"Nonsense, come on inside and meet everyone."

"I met them the other time," Hyungwon argued back even as he was being dragged into the room. He hadn't used to be shy, but now the thought of standing in front of a group of strangers - again - was paralyzing.

"Yeah but not really," Jooheon insisted, and then the two of them were inside the room, and Hyungwon could feel the uncomfortable burn of eyes tracking him. "Hey guys, you remember Hyungwon."

There was a small chorus of "Hi"s, but Hyungwon just ducked his head and gave a tiny wave before slipping into a chair, thinking that he would draw less attention sitting instead of standing. He wasn't sure if it was working yet because he still felt people staring at him.

"Hyungwon, I'm not sure if we introduced everyone last time, so - well, obviously I'm Jooheon, but besides me - that's Hoseok-" Hoseok smiled and gave a wave, seemingly a lot gentler than his large frame indicated. "-then there's Minhyuk-" The boy with fluffy hair from last time grinned at Hyungwon. "-Kihyun-" The boy next to Minhyuk gave Hyungwon a cursory glance before nodding. "-and Hyunwoo." Hyungwon looked over at the boy who had told him his story last time. He remembered the scar on his palm, and he nodded at Hyunwoo, who gave a small smile in return. "Oh, and this is Changkyun. You didn't meet him last time because we just recruited him as a new pledge last week."

Changkyun gave Hyungwon a small wave. Hyungwon got the sense that he was pretty down to earth.

"Did you get in a car crash too, then?" Hyungwon asked him, surprising himself by speaking up, but he was curious to hear from the other new addition to the group.

"Uh, I guess technically...It was just a little fender bender. I had to pay a small fine but I think it was mostly covered by my insurance..." Changkyun said, his brow scrunched in confusion, and Hyungwon looked over at Jooheon, equally confused and slightly upset because he got the feeling like they were mocking him once again.

"We were short on members," Jooheon justified easily, waving away Hyungwon's skepticism. "But you can always join if you want to."

"I'm not here to join," Hyungwon immediately said roughly before clearing his throat. "I'm not joining. I just came to get my therapist to stop nagging at me." He immediately felt bad for mentioning her because she was honestly a really nice person, but he felt like he needed an excuse. Then he felt pathetic for mentioning that he had a therapist at all and was fully ready to leave the room in humiliation, but he was met with several reminiscent chuckles instead.

"After the accident, my therapist told me that I should try learning something new and totally out of my comfort zone," one of the boys - Kihyun - began. "So I tried unicycling to piss him off, only I ended up scraping my knees and elbows so nobody really won there."

"Mine said that I should try to wear bright colors because it would have some psychological effect on my mood," Hoseok spoke up with a smile at the recollection. "So I came to school that week wearing neon yellow and dayglo orange. My worst fear to this day is that someone is going to leak pictures of that fashion travesty on the internet."

Some of the other boys shared therapy-gone-wrong stories, each of them able to laugh about the incident, and while they were talking among themselves, Jooheon leaned over to Hyungwon, his voice a little quieter so no one else could hear them.

"I think what they're trying to say is that nobody has the answer on how to grieve properly," Jooheon said softly, looking down at his own hands rather than looking over at Hyungwon.

Hyungwon wondered what scars Jooheon was hiding.

happy mother's day :)