The Car Crash Club • Monsta X

xlvii. [EPILOGUE]

Jooheon leans against the wall, trying not to seem anxious, but it's an impossible task. At four o'clock sharp, the door opens and Hyungwon steps out, his therapist trailing behind him as she finishes their conversation and wishes him a nice weekend.

Hyungwon thanks her and turns to Jooheon, his eyes starting to slide down to the ground but, as though remembering the encouragement of his therapist, he drags them back up to meet Jooheon's eyes. "Hey," he says, obviously still a bit uncomfortable at Jooheon picking him up from his therapy appointments.

"How'd it go?" Jooheon asks as they started walking. He was the one to encourage Hyungwon to continue on with therapy. He knew that Hyungwon would likely never discuss the details of his abuse with Jooheon – he'd specifically told Jooheon that "You can either be my friend or my therapist, but you can't be both" – but he sincerely hoped that Hyungwon could tell his therapist because he needed to tell someone in order to start the process of recovery. He was also scared for Hyungwon because, from the research he'd conducted on cases similar to Hyungwon's, it seemed that victims who had been sexually abused as children were likely to be revictimized in the future. He didn't want Hyungwon to suffer through anything else. He couldn't fail again.

"Like normal," Hyungwon says, a short reminder to Jooheon that he isn't ready - and might not ever be - to talk about it.

But that's okay with Jooheon. He'll be Hyungwon's friend, in whatever capacity Hyungwon will let him.

They exit the building and begin walking in the opposite direction from Hyungwon's home. Hyungwon still avoids riding in cars, not because he is afraid of another crash but because he doesn't want to trigger memories of his father, or at least, that's Jooheon's assumption. But Jooheon doesn't mind the walk.

After Jooheon picks Hyungwon up from his therapy appointment each week, they walk to Jooheon's house, where Hyungwon is invited in to have dinner with their family. It's partially Jooheon's way of keeping people in Hyungwon's life since he has no family of his own, but it's more than that. Jooheon has talked it over with Hyungwon's therapist in private, and they think that if Hyungwon is exposed to a normal family with positive relationships, then maybe he'll be able to acclimate better if he wants to start his own family one day.

Jooheon doesn't tell his parents all the details – certainly not Minjae and Minjun because they are too young – but he gives them the broad strokes, just enough detail to prevent them from asking Hyungwon questions that might hurt him. And he's always loved his parents dearly, but he finds an even greater magnitude of love for them when he watches them treat Hyungwon like their own son.

He sees how tentative Hyungwon is at first, how strange and frightening the concept of a family – a real, normal family – might be, but he grows a little in confidence each week. He notices that Hyungwon can't quite look his father in the eyes yet, but he gets along well with Minjae and Minjun, asking them questions and listening as they ramble on about everything from school drama to the bird they almost caught. Jooheon is surprised to realize that Hyungwon is actually very good with children, and he thinks that maybe it's because of Mi-Yeon's influence, so he tries to get Hyungwon to hang out with Minjae and Minjun whenever they have time.

Sometimes, Hyungwon complains to Jooheon about all the extra attention Jooheon is giving him, but it's all Jooheon knows how to do. He's a worrier like his mom, and he can't help but try to fill the holes in Hyungwon's life. He knows he'll have to return to college at some point, but he needs to know that Hyungwon can treat Jooheon's family like his own before he leaves. That way, Hyungwon will always have someone to lean on even if Jooheon isn't around.

But he doesn't want to think about leaving just yet.

--

Hyungwon comes out of his therapist's room next week with red eyes, and Jooheon's chest hurts over the fact that, even though Hyungwon's abuser is gone, his influence continues to live on and consume Hyungwon.