The Car Crash Club • Monsta X

xxxii.

Hyungwon falls into a pattern. Father lets Hyungwon hang out with Jooheon, but he always uses these occasions as leverage over him. If Father lets Hyungwon go to Jooheon's house, then he says that Hyungwon owes him a favor, the kind of favor only Father asks of him. And Hyungwon doesn't think it's very fair, but he doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Father. And yet he doesn't want to stop beings friends with Jooheon, either.

Hyungwon comes to a rather frightening realization. When he's at Jooheon's house, he observes how their family interacts, mainly because he's so fascinated by what a larger family is like. He sees how Jooheon's mother hugs them and how Jooheon's father rustles their hair or pats them on the shoulder, but Hyungwon doesn't see Jooheon and his father in the same way that he views himself and Father. Something is different, and he doesn't know which way is wrong.

But he thinks that if he's the one with the secret, then maybe he's wrong. Maybe what him and Father are doing is wrong, just like how Hyungwon felt. But Father always tells him that it's normal, that Hyungwon is just special.

He wonders if maybe Jooheon just isn't special like he is and that's why they're different. But he can't get rid of the feeling that maybe he's the one who is abnormal.

Hyungwon never invites Jooheon to his house, and Jooheon never asks why.

--updated 07/21/20, part 3/3--