Do-Over (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic; BoTDF)

Chapter 11; "You've Got a New Jayy Now."

"Jayy," I whispered guiltily.

"Don't get guilty, it's fine," he said, not meeting my eyes.

"It seemed like you hated me, you don't even smile when I'm around... You don't talk near me, nothing."

"You were the one who said to go back to my room."

"I-... I didn't want to admit tha-... Er, no-nothing. Doesn't matter. Still, I didn't even think you could tolerate me, let alone that you still liked me."

"Loved you," he returned. His fuse seemed short right now. "Well 'love'."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Who cares? You've got a new Jayy now. Let it go and give Jason a call."

"He just left."

"Not like he would mind."

"Jayy, stop," Dahvie warned. "You're acting like a little kid."

"Am fucking not."

"Hunter, maybe we shouldn't do this now... He's really hurt, and that's not your fault, especially if you didn't know. Mind going to change or something? Just for a minute?"

"Sure Dahv."

He hugged me gently. "Thanks."

I went upstairs and got changed quickly then put on my Mayday Parade playlist, my phone's remote app open in case one song hurt too much. I flopped on my bed with a sad sigh and listened as "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet" came on.

'When you hear this chorus,
Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?
Do you hurt the way that I do?
After all this time you leave me broken
This song is every word I left unspoken
When you hear this, girl, I'm hopin',
That you'll think of us.'

I swallowed. At least it wasn't Stay.

'My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say.'

I sighed softly and ran a hand through my hair. I got up and looked in the mirror. "I need to get this shit cut... It's so fucking annoying."

'Baby, I sorely miss the vibrant gleam that's in your eyes.'

Huh, if I ever had a gleam, it certainly was gone now. There was too much to worry about. It seemed like every time I was even a little happy, something had to fuck it up.

"Ugh, why didn't I just say it?! Why didn't I just tell him I love him that night?!"

"Because you were scared," someone said behind me. "I was too." He spun me around so I was looking in his eyes. "This is just as much my fault as it is yours. And I'm sorry I haven't acknowledged that." He shook his head, looking at the floor. "Dahvie's right. I've been acting like a child."

"J-Jayy."

"Sorry about this Hunter. I know it's too late now. And I know saying it tonight just complicated things for you, but God damn I was sick of avoiding it."

I nodded. "It's alright. I understand. But... You do know this won't change anything with me and J...right?"

"I know."

>***_A/N_***<

Sorry this chapter wasn't up yesterday, I've been juggling a couple ideas, but I think I've got it settled out now. Anyway, this is why I've set my updating day for Tuesday, so that I can be late without missing the whole week, plus I have three days to work on the following week's chapter.

Regardless, I'll be home from school until January 5th, so I should be putting up chapters pretty much on time and probably with at least a couple extras here and there.

I'll try to have another chapter up tomorrow and maybe Friday too for a holiday thing.

So Merry Christmas for those of you that celebrate it and Happy Holiday Season for everyone, no matter what or if you celebrate.

>***_End Of A/N_***<