No Matter What

Chapter 18

Meryl was glad for a few minutes alone in the shower. Though she was worried about her husband and leaving him alone, he told her he would be fine and to take her time. As she let the water cascade down her body, she sobbed. She let out all the emotions she had been bottling up since she heard Don give his statement to the police. She was so incredibly proud of him, though her heart broke for him and all he endured-all because his mother didn't like her. Meryl tried so hard not to focus on that, but instead focus on making sure her husband and children were alright. She knew that by releasing her emotions in the shower, she would be able to be strong for them, and do just that.

***

Don thanked Mike and Larry for helping him back into the bedroom, and once they left him alone he sat down on the bed and looked at the divorce papers once again. She had written it out so everything went to him. He shook his head. Even though it was a rouse, she was still putting him first. He then looked at the part about joint custody for the twins. Don knew this wasn't real. He knew it was just a piece of paper, and that didn't affect their love and commitment to each other. However, it was a damn hard pill to swallow. It wasn't the divorce, it was the fact that his mother had gone to these lengths to hurt his wife and that his wife truly felt that she had no other choice. His finger ran over her signature on the papers and he could tell how shaky it was. At that moment everything crashed down around him. Everything he tried to hold down came bubbling up. The feeling of being tied up. The fear of not knowing where his family and wife were. The pain of being hit over and over with a PVC pipe. Not knowing if he would ever see the most important people in the world to him. Hearing that his own MOTHER arranged this because she wanted to hurt the most influential and important person to him. It was just too much. He finally let himself feel what he had been pushing down for over 12 hours and it came out in choked sobs.

***

Meryl felt so much better after her good cry and shower. She moisturized, put on her leggings and one of Don's long sleeve shirts she brought into the bathroom with her and was in the process of putting her wet hair up in a messy bun when she thought she heard sobs coming from the bedroom. She quickly finished putting her hair up and ran into the bedroom, her heart sinking when she saw Don sitting on the edge of the bed practically hyperventilating. She immediately ran over to him and knelt down in front of him, placing her hands on his legs. "Don, baby, what's wrong?"

"Don't!" Don gasped as he moved away from her, crawling backward on the bed. "Don't you fucking touch me."

Meryl saw it in his eyes; she saw the fear, the sheer terror. She knew he was having a PTSD episode. From the way he was looking at her, she knew that he was deep in the episode and didn't know it was her. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was frighten him, she also knew if she touched him and he fought back thinking it was his abductors he would never forgive himself. She carefully climbed on the bed and sat as close to him as she thought he would allow. "Don Man, it's me Meryl, your wife. We are in our bedroom at Mike and Maggie's house. The babies are in the other room with Mike, Maggie, Liz, and Larry. You are safe, sweetheart. I promise, baby, you are safe. Please take some deep breaths for me, baby. You're safe, all the kids are safe, and I'm safe. Whatever happened we can work through. I just need you to take some deep breaths.

"Okay." Don did as he was told, he took some deep breaths with his eyes closed, and when he opened them he was met with the tearful and worried eyes of his wife. He looked around. He saw the divorce papers on the bed. He felt completely out of it. He felt drugged. He felt exhausted. "Baby?"

Meryl internally breathed a sigh of relief that he had come out of it, and she immediately took him in her arms. "It's alright, Don Man, I'm right here."

"What happened?" Don asked as he immediately relaxed in his wife's hold. "I feel like I just ran a marathon."

Meryl knew the roller coaster of a PTSD episode could make you feel like that. "I'm not sure. I was in the bathroom getting dressed after my shower and I heard you crying. When I came out here you were about to hyperventilate and shaking, when I went to touch you, I think you thought I was your abductors and you told me not to touch you, so I didn't. You were having a PTSD episode."