Yo, update time!😎
But before that I would like to address something: Mental health issues. I don't know how many of you have a first hand experience with depression or anxiety disorder but let me tell you, it's horrible to go through. It's crippling. Some days are so bad that you won't be able to gather up enough energy to move. it literally cripples your mind and body. Your mind constantly tells you what a failure you are, how every decision you've made is a disaster. How you are a burden to everyone in your life. Your entire existence feels worthless. And sometimes to ease the pain up you harm yourself bodily: you cut yourself, you starve yourself, and sometimes you try to take your own life.
You go out and feel like every passing stranger is dissecting every flaw in you. It renders you to have social interactions because you're too tense to think up a proper reply. Sometimes that tension and anxiety lead you to hyperventilate. You feel there is not enough air to breath in. Your feel cold and yet sweat profusely, your body trembles and you can't think of anything other than dying. And you can't tell anyone about it. Communication is probably the hardest part of it.
Then some days are good. You feel like a normal human being. You laugh, you go out, you socialize.
And some days you just act to be normal. You laugh in front of people, crack jokes, seem to have a good time. Then in the darkness of your room, you sit with a handful of pills and think of freeing yourself with this constant pain for good.
I have a first hand experience in most of these.
While the magnitude of the effect vary depending on individuals- there are mild symptoms and extreme ones- the sufferer has a hellish time nonetheless. And these are treatable, curable to some extent but you can relapse at any vulnerable moment. Certain things can be triggering.
So, while Zhan has been going through therapies and treatments, keep in mind that by no means, he is okay or has stopped suffering. The sole purpose of me creating a character with mental health issues was for people to understand how difficult it is to function with these ailments. Judge him but also, try to understand him from his point of view.
And if you're suffering from these, control your mind, don't let it control you. Meditate. listen to soft music and express yourself through any form of art, any of them.
Recap of the previous chapter for those who have skipped it-
Zhan had a vivid dream of one time he and YiBo had sex (where YiBo had bottomed) and he woke up, scared and dazed, to realize that he needed to have some distraction because he could not let himiself fall for an almost married man.
Phew! Now off with the read!
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Chapter-13
Zhan's nerves were tied in a knot. Today was the fateful day he had arranged a lunch date with Yun KyunSang and everything was ready accordingly, except for Zhan's nerves which hadn't calmed down ever since he had confirmed having this date. But now to make matters worse, with only hours in hand, Xing's nanny had to bail out for an emergency.
It was not only difficult to find an instant babysitter, Zhan would not leave his son just with anyone else.
At first he thought of calling KyunSang and cancelling it right away, then, on a second thought he called Talu. The phone call didn't go as he expected.
"That's nothing to lose your head over about."
"Really? Okay, I'll cancel it, then. Hope he doesn't think I am making-"

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Thread That Binds Us
RomanceTwo hearts, apart and away, connected by a thread that's trying to pull them together. Will it succeed?