Can I help you?

Chapter 61

The evening ends without other 'interesting' events. Sarah, Jin and J-hope win the contest of the day, because Namjoon and Emma only got 11 contradas.

They go and drink some local drinks in the lobby of their hotel and play some games. In the end, of course the girls win. They say goodnight and each goes to their own room. The girls are in one room together, because of saving money for Big Hit.

"You can't be together." Sarah sternly tells Emma when the girls went to their hotel room. "Why not?" "None of us can." Sarah says again, without telling the reason. Everyone else is in uproar. "Why?" "Do you want them for yourself maybe? Don't you have enough with Jin and Jhope? Of course, it's easy for you to fall in love. After all, you found your 'Ji Hoon'!" Emma shouts angrily. Sarah is hurt. "No, I don't because I can't start anything with them either! None of us can. And if this continues I won't even have Ji Hoon anymore either...." Sarah cries and walks out of the hotel.

The other girls are confused at how she reacted. "Maybe you went too far, Emma." Mary carefully asks. "Maybe, but I mean why can't we just love each other freely? Why is she not choosing one of her biases too?" "Maybe she knows something. Something we don't. Something BTS doesn't know." Doenja adds into the conversation.

Sarah is sitting on a bench on a nearby square. The streets are bustling but no one seems to notice her. "I just want to protect all of your happiness. There is nothing I can do... I really tried so hard. This was all a mistake. I should not have taken them with me in the first place. I should have not went with BTS in the first place...But why couldn't we just be happy with staying close to them? Why did they have to fall for us. Why did we fall so hard for them?" She is crying because she never wanted to feel regret over a decision that made her this intensely happy. "I can't do this alone anymore. I simply can't." "Then don't." Doenja's voice comes from behind her. "I have been noticing you are not making any moves on Jin and Jhope, and have been stressed about something in the office. Ever since that talk with the CEO in the beginning." Sarah looks up with tears over her face. She sees her 3 friends there for her. "I'm sorry I lashed out like this. I just want to try to understand why I can't love Joonie. Or you can't love Jin or Hobi..." Sarah is wrecked. "Yeah tell us what has been eating you for all this time." "No, I can't... I don't want to ruin your trip. Today was such a nice day." "Sarah, just tell us!" "FINE!" They all look at Sarah.

"RM was in charge of our contracts. But he has not all authority. The CEO called me in the office to explain something to me. He added a clausule to the contract that we should not cross the professional line." They all kind of seem to get the point and yet not. Sarah sighs. "We are not allowed to date them. If we do, we will get fired, and have to pay a contract termination fine to Big Hit. This is customary for all female employees. To legally prevent and protect the members from sassaengs. Also if we would get caught in the media by dating secretly, we will have to pay a supplemental fine for image damage, paying the lawyers for retracting the articles and lawsuits."

They all are quiet. Is this what Sarah has been struggling with all along? Mary hugs Sarah. "Why didn't you tell or warn us?" Emma says, feeling guilty about her lash out. "Because I knew you guys were living the dream. I never guessed that the BTS members would actually start falling for us for real." Doenja sighs. "So because you tried to save our feelings, you gambled yours? Who the fuck are you? Mother Theresa? Another saint? You are just Sarah. Our best friend. Don't do things like this. Nobody asked you. Especially not for us. We don't want to feel guilty or be in debt with our best friend." Doenja sounds angry but is feeling very sorry for Sarah. Sarah gets up and hugs Doenja close. "I never ask for anything back, so it's not a debt. But yeah, this has been eating me so long now." She is sobbing on her shoulder. Doenja hugs her tightly back, glad to not be the first to hug, but really wanted to hug Sarah. "We should all go get a drink somewhere. How about some Martini's or Disaronno?" Doenja says while still patting Sarah's back.

The girls are sitting at a table on a pleasant plaza. Each with a cocktail of choice. The atmosphere is very low and almost everyone is struggling to give the many thoughts and feelings a place. "So... I have been trying to keep my distance with Jin and Jhope, but they are getting quite persistent in their feelings for me. I don't know how long I can fight them, or my feelings for them. I tried to find happiness outside BTS. Build a future, a life that is real and without limits. How about you all, being aware of this. What will you do now? We are not allowed to tell them. Nor should we do so, it will only cause drama and the CEO will hate us for it if BTS gets set up against them. I really don't have any other way out." She holds her hand up in despair to her head, and one shots the martini. She looks at Emma.

"I don't know.." Emma answers. The others are quiet too. "You know I can't keep secrets. I think it would be okay to tell RM. He is a leader, he knows Big Hit and can probably find ways without endangering our contract." Sarah shrugs. She has completely given up. "If this goes wrong, you at least now know what is going to be the consequences." The girls all hug, unsure about what is coming next. "If we get kicked out of Big Hit and we'll have to return to Belgium, this will just become a beautiful memory, with a large amount of money to which we will probably have to pay off for the rest of our lives. But a beautiful memory nevertheless." Mary says, following her weird, own logic. They strangely feel comforted by it. They finish their drinks and return to the hotel, each having their own thoughts about it all.

The guys all have relaxed and peaceful night of sleep, ready to move onto the next destination tomorrow. Especially RM has a big, happy smile on his face.