Dip$hits in Space, season 1

Episode 10: Asswarmers, Showtunes, and Sex Addicts

The airlock opened and into the ship stumbled an exhausted looking Marley and Captain Lawg, both dragging their feet and heading to the den to relax. Duffy approached and handed them a can of soda each.

"So how was the little vacation?" she asked.

"Firstly...it wasn't a vacation, it was an two-night stay at a paid hotel to deliver goods, secondly...horrible." Lawg sighed.

"But planet Eko-shibaki-kori-no-demon-highschool is supposed to be a great vacation spot." She said sadly. Marley huffed. "Planet Anime is no place for a small furry creature. I had 2 different kids try to capture me, either as a pet or some kind of social acceptable, forced-fighting monster. All the food is either pink or sky-blue and I'm pretty sure there was nobody between the age of 18 and 60, creeped me out."

"Oh you think your part was bad?" asked Lawg. "I had to stand there for at least 3 22 minute long monologues about how I was someone's sworn enemy and they vowed to cut me down for the honor of their family. The guy I bumped into at the bus station, the guy I refused to give spare change to and then the 12 year old girl at the Mc-Happy-magik-toshi-burger-dojo. All I did was say I didn't want tea with my toshi-meal and out comes the sword. It's insanity. I don't know how anyone survives into adulthood." he said as Uka approached.

"I think you gotta be the chosen one. There's like one chosen one for every 19 students." she muttered, passing by.

"So did you have to fight your way out?" asked Duffy. The captain kicked his feet up.

"No, they spend so long talking about fighting that you can just briskly walk away. Once they get to rambling, they don't even pay attention to their surroundings anymore and it's like... just leaving is so unheard of, that they don't know what to do. Apparently honor or something, whatever." he yawned.

"Bummer, I hear they have amazing tea." Said Duffy as Roy came in carrying a crate on either arm.

"Hey," he muttered.

"What did you manage to bring with you?" asked Uka, looking irate.

"Oh, someone challenged me to a dual to the death for taking up a whole parking space with my bike, long story short I got stabbed and apparently they don't grasp how robots work so they think I'm a demon and they gave me just an obscene amount of free sake' so I would bless their establishment." He said setting it near his charger. Uka looked confused.

"Wait...they have space-travel and yet they thought a robot was a spirit diety?" she asked.

"The anime-Planet place is pretty much a bubblegum flavored acid tab looking for a tongue to hide under, you should have gone." He said whistling as he got the glue for his "injury".

"Screw that." muttered Duffy with a mouthful of chips. "I landed there once for a blind date...the guy was literally blind...and a panda." She finished.

"So? You can't rule someone out just because he has a disability.

"No, that's not why I bailed, he was also like 90 years old and wore a robe, kept telling me about my destiny and how I needed to collect 6 magical amulets. All I wanted was 2 things...laid and sushi. I want neither from a 90 year old panda weirdo. Ended up passing on both when I saw my options." She finished.

"Well, we leave in 30 minutes." Yawned Captain Lawg, getting cozy for a brief powernap. "We got a shipment of stuff to take to Dansk. They paid 60 percent upfront so I plan on delivering quickly and without incident." he finished. Marley snickered.