Dip$hits in Space, season 1

Episode 15: (Season finale) Pandora's Box

The mood was panic, shuttle bay doors opening, Duffy rushing beside Lawg to sickbay where Uka was laying unconscious on a table and Roy was focusing his glowing blue eyes on a syringe.

"How bad is she?" asked Duffy.

"Hard to say, I'm not a real doctor. It's fortunate we live in a technological age where you can just download emergency medical helpers into your android, but there are always limitations. For some reason a human or alien doctor is always better than an artificial life form. From what little I have seen, she was bitten by some kind of insect and went into shock. I gave her 2 CC's of Floraflor and an IV of Tetro-deu-tetrozene"

"What the hell is that?" asked Lawg.

"Your basic cure-all that the Galactic Federal Empire uses to treat anything serious, just a basic "don't die" medicine administered in this here medical clicker. Floraflor is an herbal medicine, not sure what it does but the people who snort it claim it heals just absolutely everything. Despite the hype, it actually has numerous medical uses and tremendous potential for healing, so naturally it's highly illegal because you can get high off it too." Roy shrugged. "I'm covering both angles here."

"Can we help?" Duffy asked.

"Not unless she goes critical." he shrugged. Uka suddenly arched her back and went into a seizure. "She went critical. Grab a medical bi-scanner." he ordered. She opened the drawer and looked lost.

"Which one?"

"They all do the same thing, just grab any of them and put this coin-like device on her scalp, the side with adhesive. These seem to do good stuff." he added. She placed the patch on her and held the scanner like a gun.

"Now increase spinal stimulation neuro-probe to 42 jiggaflops and a bandwidth of .3 millimeters." he said waving devices over her and administering clicker-shots.

"Damnit Roy, I'm an engineer, not a doctor." she blurted Irishly.

"The big dial, turn it left and just wave it around a little."

"Seriously? Now what?" Duffy shouted.

"I'm afraid I don't know. I followed Federal medical procedures and she should be healed...yet she isn't. She is stable but her DNA appears to be modulating into something entirely different." he sighed.

"Quick, kill her with a brick and print a new one off the teleporter." suggested Lawg.

"We can't just do that every time a life is at risk, it puts huge strain on the mainframe and could blow up the ship. Plus there are serious medical repercussions that I can't fully explain to you. It has to do with Quantum Spleefter and the cohesion of protons, very medically technical, something 20th century doctors wouldn't grasp so there is no point elaborating to someone like you. We got away with it once but if we attempt again with her, we could cause a spatial tear and rupture the time-space confluctuum. Just trust me, I'm a robot with an illegally pirated, government sanctioned, medical programs." he assured, they both nodded.

"What is she turning into?" asked Duffy.

"I have no idea, but the insect virus is adapting her cells and mutating them to some specific end, I will try to disrupt it but it could adapt again. It's evolution."

"No that's mutation." Uka said opening her eyes. "Evolution takes generations because it uses death and reproduction to adapt, why does nobody get ever that right?"