Dip$hits in Space, season 1

Episode 1 (still the pilot episode, folks)

Part 2

"It's a Vacuum!" she bellowed.

"Don't over-think everything." He hollered back, cranking the volume.

"It doesn't make sense. There is nothing in space to compress in order to make sound waves." She said looking irritated despite being now in a warm cargo bay, green tape binding her wrists.

"They heard it, didn't they? And now we are warm and sitting on a crate of cargo instead of frozen to death. Things work out of you just let the flow take you."

"The flow didn't take us...pirates took us. We are captive on a pirate ship, how is this a good thing?" she whispered angrily.

"Well, warm and tied up is better than freezing and not tied up. They have food somewhere so you might not starve now or have to eat those horrible meat tubes. And we were going to run out of oxygen soon, so alive beats dead. Think of this as a stroke of luck. Chafee's are naturally lucky."

"I will kill you if they don't kill us first." She muttered as the doors opened and a short, fat alien stood proudly wielding a rather bazooka-esque weapon. He was armored from head to toe and spoke through a voice modulator to sound more menacing. 2 pair of rabbit ears hung on either side of his mask, like something out of a horror movie.

"Um, so can we stop off at a fuel-stop and get a shower?" William asked the alien.

"Name and rank." He barked.

"Captain William Lawg of the Starship Tast-E-Chill. This is my copilot...um, I never did ask your name did I?" he muttered.

"Uka." She said rolling her eyes.

"Is this a military vessel or waste disposal?" it asked.

"Neither. It's a mobile Earth-museum currently, but it used to be a frozen food storage ship." Lawg grinned.

"What kind of food?" it asked.

"Mostly frozen dairy and sugar bars. They are amazing. I found lots of small ships carrying them. Probably easy to store since you just open a window and the back stays pretty cold. There were some bags of incents in a sealed container under the seat with some paper and lighters but I traded them for light bulbs to some cargo hauler. Sucker gave me 18 bulbs for about an ounce of incense." He bragged

"Weaponry?" it asked angrily in a low throaty voice.

"I had a pistol but that's gone now. Otherwise nothing." He admitted.

"What happened to the dairy bars?" it asked.

"I ate them already, all except a box of bubblegum sherbet. I just tossed that out the airlock with the wrappers, believe me you aren't missing anything."

"So you two are alone...no weapons, no food, no cargo and no fuel?" it asked.

"No fuel?" asked Uka, looking alarmed.

"Sorry, I didn't mention it before cuz we would die of air-loss way before we ran out of fuel." He assured. The alien hung his head and drooped its ears.

"Maaan. I suck at this job." He mumbled, looking very sad. He tossed the weapon aside.

"HEY! Careful with that thing." hollered William.

"Don't worry, it's not dangerous. It just blows warm air. I tried to fix it but I don't think it was ever really a weapon." He said flopping down and removing his menacing face mask to show a much less menacing chubby-cheeked bunny face under it.