Dip$hits in Space, season 1

Episode 8: Espionage and Gay Robots

Captain Lawg sat at the bar, watching various women and observing them as they dismissed his glances and left. His mojo was on empty, and he wasn't spotting any 8's or higher that seemed interested. He spotted a cute little green number sitting alone and made his way to her table with a fruity drink. Just as he began to enter personal conversation range, a rather well-built black man swooped in and sat down, appearing to have just returned from the bathroom or somewhere. Lawg spun and dodged the stranger, pretending to be dancing, and pretending poorly. For the sake of cover, he approached a rather unsightly species of female and handed her the drink.

"Oh hello, what's-" she started

"My name is not important." Lawg muttered under his breath.

"Oh, how mysterious." said the unsightly rando.

"Listen carefully. I am on an important mission which I cannot discuss and I am undercover. I am improvising here, so just pretend to be dancing with me and take the free drink." he said faking a big smile and looking obvious.

"Really? Are you a spy?" asked the desperate and gullible alien

"You could say there is some spying going on, sure. Just follow my lead." he said badly dancing and guiding her around as a blocker.

"So if this is spy work, then you really don't want to talk to me, do you?"

"Not remotely." he said poking his head up to see over her shoulder and being more obvious.

"Then what reason do I have to play along?" she asked dryly.

"Free drink and 20 credits cash." he replied

"Okay!" she said suddenly dancing badly with him. "So what is the mission?" she asked.

"Find and eliminate target." he said squinting at the tall dark stranger.

"Exciting...is he a spy too?" she asked,

"Sure." he nodded, dialing up his earpiece.

The dark stranger smiled and puffed on his e-cigarette, talking to the attractive green girl at the table. Lawg couldn't make out any words, but he could tell they were chatting.

"So, do you have the package or not?" The strange man asked, getting his attention. She slid him something under the napkin and he discreetly slid her a roll of credits. "Thank you, much obliged." he suspiciously said, standing up. Lawg listened carefully for his moment to swoop in.

"So do you work here in Las Vega?" asked the annoying dance partner.

"No, I'm a captain, I live on the ship." he muttered.

"I thought you were a spy." she said raising an eyebrow.

"I said I was spying, captains can spy. I could be a spy and a captain" he said suddenly breaking off the dance and placing a 20 in her hand and downing her beverage.

"Hey, asshole. You promised me free 20 AND free drinks!"

"There is your 20, go get your free drinks." he dodged, sitting down across from the sexy little green gal. "Well hello there, beautiful...you wanna go for a cruise?" he grinned.

"No, I don't." she said standing up and walking off. He looked perplexed, following her as she left the place.

"Hey, wait...I think we got off on the wrong side of the shoe." he said swiping a random drink from the counter as he left.