Just By Putting On a Smile

Chapter 1- Would You Like To Judge?

**Demi's POV**
"And that's why you reach out for help when you need it, I did that and look at me now."

Lies.

I'm trying to promote my 'new way of life' as my manager, Phil McIntyre, likes to call it. I'm not fully 'fixed', I never will be. I'm trying but it feels wrong to preach about something I'm making up. At some point my façade will give out, and I'll be left out in the public vulnerable.

I make my way off stage, and I'm greeted by Phil.
"Demi! That was a great performance!" He praises.
"Thanks Phil, what's next? When's my next concert?"
"I got a call from your publicist, you should be expecting a call from.. I think Simon Cowell. Whatever it is, Demi you have to agree. You need more exposure."

Does he not understand what lead me down that path last time? Being overworked. Yes, there are other factors, that I'll get into later, but that was a big problem.

"Ok. I'll see you Phil."
I head back to walk out with Max, my security guard. I am swarmed with fans screaming while trying to get into the car, but Max tries to keep them off me. We both get into the car.

"Thanks Max, they were practically on top of me." I say.
"No problem, so Dem how's your work load?"
Max has always been very interested and invested in my recovery, he's great to talk to.

"I mean I have quite a lot of concerts, but that's just a part of the industry. Phil told me I'll be receiving a call from Simon Cowell with an offer, and he said I have to say yes."
"No way! Do you think he'll ask you to be on the panel for The X Factor USA?" He says excitedly.
"Probably not, I'm a Disney kid who just went to rehab."
"Who's been an inspiration and idol to the younger generation. He had Britney Spears on it last year, she's from Disney." He reasons.
"Yeah, but nobody hears Britney Spears name and immediately thinks of Disney. She's grown out of the 'Disney' title. What are you gonna do, turn down fucking BRITNEY SPEARS?" He just chuckles.
"I'll see you later Dem,"
"Thanks Max."

I get out of the car and go into the house. I'm greeted by my parents and my 2 sisters, Madison and Dallas. Maddie is my younger sister, she's 11 and Dallas is 24. Technically, Maddie is me and Dallas' half sister, and Eddie is our step dad, but we don't think of it that way. Again, I'll get into it later.

"Hey honey, how was the concert?" My mum asks.
"It was fine, Phil said I should be receiving a call from Simon Cowell soon, I don't know what it's about."

We all sit in the living room while my mom makes dinner. We hear her calling through.

Something that nobody seems to understand is that when you go to rehab, it doesn't automatically mean you're fixed. I still struggle at dinner. I still feel the need to purge. Nobody thinks about that though, they think that after rehab I'm completely fixed.

We all eat and start to clear off the table, when I hear my phone going off.

"Guys I need to get that, I think it's Simon."
I go over to my phone, pick it up and take a deep breath.

*On The Call*
D-"Hello, Demi Lovato speaking."
S-"Hello Miss Lovato. I'm Simon Cowell. How do you feel about it?"
D-"Sorry Mr Cowell, how do I feel about what?"
S-"Darling, just call me Simon. Oh your manager didn't tell you? I guess I'll ask. How do you feel about being a judge on my TV show The X Factor?"
D-"Really! Of coar- I mean, I would be interested in that."
S-"Hahaha. Sorry for the short notice, LA backed out last minute. We start filming tomorrow."
D-"Um, what state do we start in?"
S-"We're starting in Houston, Texas. Where are you now?"
D-"I'm with my family in Dallas, Texas, so I can get there. What are we doing for accommodation?"
S-"You Don't have to worry about that, we've payed for hotels in advance."
D-"Thank you so much Mr Cowe- Simon."
S-"Ok darling, we'll see you tomorrow. We are suppose to be at hair and makeup for about 9am. See you tomorrow."
D-"Thank you, bye."

I squeal really loud and start jumping up and down.
"Demi shut the fuck up. What is it?" Dallas laughs.
"DALLY SIMON WANTS ME TO JUDGE ON THE X FACTOR!"
"No way Dem that's great! When does it start?"
"LA had to pull out last minute, so tomorrow in Houston!"
"Dem that's great!"

Me and Dallas go and tell the rest of the family. We all celebrate then decide to go off to our rooms. I get a call from my publicist.

(A/N - I didn't know Demi's publicists name, and fun fact - it's Chantal.)
*On Call*
D-"Hey Chantal."
C-"Demi! Hey. So you accepted Simon's X Factor offer?"
D-"Yes, I start tomorrow."
C-"Great. We'll have to advertise this.." She goes on about a bunch of stuff to get my name out there and just about publicity.
C-"And we need to sort out your whole look, because before you were really edgy and more rocker, but you've had a personality change since your Disney days. Maybe if you lost a few pound- Never mind. I'll figure it out and speak to your stylist about it. I'll speak to you later Demi."
D-"Y-yeah, speak time you later."

She thinks your fat.
Demetria you need to loose weight.
You can't be on national TV looking like this.
She thinks you need to loose weight.
Simon won't like you if your fat.
You'll look like a whale compared to the other judges.

The demons swarm my head with all of these thoughts and before I know it I end up in the bathroom.