Just By Putting On a Smile

Chapter 8- I Love You Daddy

A/N (^This is apparently the moment Demi found out about Patrick's death, and it wasn't aired, I don't know though. It makes me so sad🥺😢)
**Demi's POV**
Half the way through the show, there is a guy who walks through the stadium and indicates for a girl to follow her, they start walking towards me. I see a glimpse of the girls face, she's crying. She looks up and I notice it's my older sister Dallas.
"I-it's dad," Dallas says quietly.
"Simon can I take Demi aside for a minute?" The man asks. I hold Kelly's hand tight.
"Simon call a break," Kelly says.
Kelly talks to Simon about calling a break. I mime to Dallas,
"What's wrong with Eddie?" I mime.
"It's not Eddie, it's Patrick.." She mimes back.
"I-is he back?" I mime terrified.
"Actually the opposite.. H-he's dead." She mimes nearly sobbing.

My world crashes down. I quickly slam my hand over my mouth muffling my sob. Dallas turns away, and I squeeze Kelly's hand and start sobbing. She pulls me into her side and rushes me backstage, away from the audience.

"DemDem, what happened sweetie?" Kelly asks lovingly.
"M-my b-biological f-f-father just d-died." I sob.
She pulls me even closer.

"Demi! What was so important that it had to interrupt the show?!" Simon says angrily, then softening his face when he sees the state of me.
"Dem what happened darling?" He says making me cry harder. Kelly rubs my back and answers Simon.
"Her dad died," Kelly says quietly.

Dallas comes backstage,
"Dem, it's okay," she tries to comfort me.
"You're safe now," she says. My head springs up. I give her a death stare and indicate at the other people in the room with my eyes.
"Oh, uh, safe from, the, thought he's, at peace?" Dallas tries to cover up her last sentence. I mentally face palm.

I've spoken out about a lot of my struggles in my life, but not mentioned anything about my biological father. I hate to paint my father in a bad light, he was loving. When he wasn't drunk.

"Dem, if you want you can stay back here, you don't need to come back on stage." Simon offers.
"N-n-no I can do it." I take a deep breath and stand up.
"I don't think that's a great idea Dem.." Kelly says cautiously.
"Y-yeah, this isn't e-easy news," Dallas whimpers.
"I'm okay."

I make my way over to makeup and they fix my tear stained face. I make my way over to the other judges.
"Let's go." I say.
"Demi, it's okay to stay off the panel for a bit.."
"I know." I say emotionless. Honestly, I feel emotionally numb. I don't have any opinion or emotional connection with anything.

We sit at the panel, everyone keeps shooting me worried glances. I don't feel like crying, I don't feel like moving, I honestly don't feel like living. I've always thought about just ending it all, but on this panel I've made actual friends, I occasionally feel happy. I just need a release.

This girl in amazing, she brought everyone to tears, well except me. I'd normally be the one bawling, but not this time. My face has a fake smile while I clap. Everyone pours their hearts into their comments, and I have to pretend to emotionally connect with her and her performance.

We finish up for the day and head back to the hotel. Kelly and Paulina try to get me to talk to them and open up the whole way there. We get out of the car, and Simon starts arranging something for dinner. I just walk off and make my way up to my room. Yes, I know it's weird but I've always kept a framed picture of me and my dad from when I was 2/3. It brings back awful memories of what he used to do. One of my core issues is abandonment from my father, other things play a big part, but it started off with that.

I look at the photo and tears well up my eyes, at least I have some emotion. I crawl into bed and hug the picture close.
"I love you daddy."

**Kelly's POV**
"Pau, we should go check on Demi.." I say to Paulina. We agree and make our way up to her hotel room. We all have a key for each other's rooms, it's a bit weird but we often keep stuff in each other's rooms and often all just sleep in one room because we wanted to have a sleepover.

I open the door and what I see is heartbreaking. Demi, with tears streaming down her face in bad with her eyes shut. She's squirming around, and hugging something. I slowly walk up to her and move the cover slightly. It's a picture from when she was younger, with her dad.
"Pau.." I whisper with tears forming in my eyes.

Demi's eyes flutter open. She sees me and quickly puts the photo under her pillow and wipes her eyes.
"H-hey guys." She says weakly with a fake smile. I can't resist, I engulf her in a massive hug.
"Dem, please speak to us." I say.
"There's nothing to be said." She whispers.
"Demi, please."
"I said there is nothing Kel!" She says louder.
"Seriously Demi?! Your fucking dad just died and you can't fucking notice! He would have wanted you to GRIEVE, not be a shut-off bitch! It's like I don't even know you!" I lost it, I was shouting. She flinched back, but I couldn't stop. She had tears racing down her face, and looked hurt. She backed up away from me, like she was scared I would hit her.
"Kelly.." Paulina says pulling me back.
"No s-shes right, I am just a 'shut-off bitch". And you if don't know me, then l-l-leave." She says weak, she looks so broken. I realise what I had just done.
"No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry Dem, I don't know what got into m-" I start, but I am interrupted by her.
"Kelly leave." She says, letting more tears free fall down her face.

Paulina tries to approach her.
"Please leave! Both of you! It's not like you actually care anyway! You're right, you don't know me. And honestly you won't want to if you knew everything. Please leave." She shouts.