Just By Putting On a Smile

Chapter 15- Closer To The Clouds

**Demi's POV**
Only 2 days have passed and it feels like weeks. I've got no time to myself, I love Kelly and Paulina's company so much though. We finished auditions in Dallas and now we've moved to California to hold more auditions.

I feel a movement beside me, I look over and realise Kelly is awake.
"Hey babygirl, I wanna sleep," Kelly says in a husky voice and wraps her arms around me and shuts her eyes making me laugh.
"Kel we have auditions today, we have to get up." I told her.
"I know... Hey after the show I'm meeting with some friends, can I take you?" Kelly says.
"Umm, I don't want to interrupt that. Who is it?" I ask her.
"Dem, they've taken friends before, and they know who you are. I don't know who's all going, but we're all meeting backstage at Jay Z's concert." She tells me.
"Kel it's your friends, they won't want me there." I tell her.
"Yes they will Dem, I talk about you all the time and it's impossible to not know who Demi Lovato is," She says nudging me.

We get up and change into sweats. We meet with the others downstairs and get into the car to the stadium. I hear my phone buzz.

From: Nialler<3
Hey Dee, thought I'd check in before auditions, how are u? xx

I smile slightly and try to contain my rosy cheeks as I reply.

To: Nialler<3
Thanks Ni. I'm good, how's the album going? xx

"Two x's, you're really into him." Kelly jokes while looking over my shoulder at my phone. I lightly hit her while Paulina just laughs.
"Who are you texting?" Simon says.
"A friend." I say bluntly making Kelly laugh.
"No shit Sherlock, who?" He says chuckling,
"Someone you know very well," Kelly says quietly.
"Kellyy!" I shout at her.
"Not again, is Harry trying to get with you?" Simon says making my laugh.
"Nooo," I say while laughing.
"I think you know Simon," Paulina says.
"I know, it's Niall." He says huffing.

We make our way to the stadium and get wardrobe, hair and makeup done. We sit through 4 hours of auditions, taking us to just before lunch. The last act before our lunch break walks on stage and I freeze.
"Hi, what's your name?" Paulina asks.
"I'm Amy White, and I'm 19 years old."
"Where are you from?" Paulina asks.
"Dallas Texas,"
"Why didn't you come to the Houston auditions if you're from Dallas?" Simon questions.
"Well I'm visiting family here and I wouldn't of made it back to Dallas in time and I really wanted to audition."
"Okay, good luck." Simon says.

I hear the first note of the song and I feel sick to my stomach, I instantly recognise the song as being my own, skyscraper. My childhood bully, singing my song about everything I've been through, everything she's put my through. She looks my dead in the eyes and gives my an evil smirk.

Kelly notices it's my song and looks at me, I give a slight smirk, struggling to not just burst out in tears. This girl made my life a living hell and then sings my song about my struggles. I try to keep a neutral face but my eyes well up slightly thinking of what she's done. I fight the tears and just sit their with a dead straight face.

"Would it make you, feel better to watch me while I bleed?" Amy sings while looking at me and then bitchily looked at her wrist. I try to hide the shocked expression on my face.

"But I am closer to the clouds up here," She sings. The meaning behind this lyric is so powerful but nobody noticed.

**Flashback**
I'm so over this shit. Everyday I'm mentally and physically abused in school by practically everyone, but especially Amy and her clique. Daily I'm told to kill myself.

I run up the hill with my sister Dallas, we like going jogging together, and as a plus I can burn off some of my fat. We reach the top and we're both really out of breath. The view from the top of the cliff we're at is absolutely stunning.

"Dem, sorry I really need to piss. I'm gonna go over to the forest bit over there, I'll only be like 10 minutes." Dallas laughs slightly and starts to make her way over to the forest.

I sit on the bench at the end of the cliff, it's so peaceful. I'm closer to the clouds up here, I start thinking of my day, my emotions hits me like a tonne of bricks. I always try to keep everything to myself and keep all my emotions in, but being alone up here hit a weak spot for me. Everything everyone's ever called me rings in my ears.

I have tears streaming down my face as I slowly stand up. I take small steps until I reach the edge of the cliff. I look down. I think about all the times I've been told to kill myself, I've got this opportunity now, in this lovely peaceful place, there is nowhere else I'd rather die. My breath increases as I move one foot of the ground and dangle it off the edge,
3,
2,
1-
I feel an arm grip around my wrist pulling me back.
"D-D-Dem?" Dallas stutters.
"Dallas let me do this." I tell her.
"Demi!" She sends down and I feel my legs being lifted off the ground. Dallas picked me up bridal style.
"Dallas let me go, I need to end this!" I shout at her.
"Demi stop it! Please Demi," Dallas sobs, which should make me feel bad and sorry for her, but it doesn't. Her life would be so much better off without me.
"Everyones life would be better off without me,"
**Flashback Over**

I feel the same numbness I did when Dallas was sobbing. A sense of 'nothing matters' washes over me.

She finishes singing, everyone is clapping and smiling. I bring my hands together and give a small clap to not draw any attention to yourself.

"I think, you sang well, but I don't know if it was a 5 million dollar performance, or if you would be capable of a 5million dollar performance. Paulina?" Simon says.
"I think it good, but there is something missing. Kelly?" Paulina says.
"I agree with Paulina, you've got a good voice but no substance, Demi?" Kelly says.
"You had no emotion, that's what was missing. It was dry. You have a good voice, but sometimes that's not enough. Let's vote." I say bluntly, receiving a weird look from Simon.
"Yes, you have a good voice, and you could maybe improve with some training." Simon says.
"Yes, if you're lucky, your mentor could get you to open up." Kelly says.
"I mean, I don't know if we could help you if you can't portray emotion through the song, I'm going to have to say no." I say.
"Yes," Paulina says.