Mizpah: Jillian

Chapter 12

"Jillian, okay ka lang ba diyan? I'm sorry ngayon lang ako nakatawag. Kakatapos lang ng midterms namin."

Tumawag si Cale. Inipit ko sa tenga ko ang cellphone ko. I'm here at my kitchen. I can't use the both of my hands because I'm making sandwich for breakfast.

"It's okay. Okay lang naman ako dito," I said. "How are you?"

"I'm not sure if I'm okay though. There are a lot of things happening around me lately, isama mo pa ang problema ng ating pamilya."

I sat down on the dining table. I'm done making my sandwich kaya't kinuha ko na ang cellphone na nakaipit sa tenga ko at hinawakan.

"Really? Sabihan mo ako, Cale. Maybe I can help," I said before I took a bite of my sandwich.

He sighed.

"Huwag na. It's my own problem at ayaw kong dagdagan pa ang problema mo."

"Sige na! Sabihan mo na ako," pagpupumilit ko.

"It doesn't concern you, Jill."

Ngumisi ako.

"Let me guess... Babae ba ito?"

"O-Of course not! I-I don't like being in a relationship! Bakit mo naisip 'yan?"

"Why do you sound so defensive? At bakit ka nauutal?" I teased him.

"Anong ginagawa mo ngayon?"

Patuloy parin akong ngumisi.

"Why are you changing the subject, Cale? Sagutin mo muna ako. Bakit ka defensive at bakit ka nauutal?"

Tumayo ako at pumunta sa fridge para kumuha ng fresh milk. Bumalik din ako sa upuan ko at ininom ito.

"How about I'll freeze my card?" Seryoso niyang sabi.

Tumigil ako sa pag-inom ng fresh milk. He's now using my weakness now, huh? Simple lang naman ang tanong ko, ah. There's something going on with him. I'm sure of it.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop now," I chuckled. "I'm eating breakfast now. Ikaw? Nasa condo ka pa rin ba? Wala kang pasok?"

"Nasa shed ako ngayon, napapahangin. Wala kasi ang prof naminat at baka mamayang hapon na 'yun papasok," he said. Hindi parin ako umuuwi sa bahay. Galit parin ako kay Dad dahil sa nangyari last week."

Naging seryoso na ang ekspresyon ko ngayon. May namumuong galit sa kalooban ko.

"Did he punched you? Or slapped you just like what he did to me?"

Before ako lumayas, my Dad and I got into a big fight. A really big fight. I just can't let Brenda, the name of Dad's mistress, live in our house! Nagkasagutan kami and he slapped me dahil sobra na daw ang bibig ko.

Dad said that no one can change his mind regarding of Brenda's stay in our house. And I made my decision. Lumayas ako kaysa naman sa makasama ko siya sa iisang bubong.

Brenda is a terrible woman. She's making up terrible stories about me to Dad. She even tore my mother's picture which I kept for a long time. Sinasaktan niya 'yung mga maids, pinakealaman ang mga gamit namin ni Cale, and basta-basta nalang sinisesante ang mga bodyguard and driver na nagta-trabaho sa amin sa matagal na panahon.

She's stupid and idiot. Halatang pera lang ang habol kay Dad. She didn't finish her study and went to work as a prostitute sa club.

At ano naman ang pumasok sa isip ni Dad at bakit pumapatol siya ng babaeng kapareha ko ng edad? It's gross, stupid and ridiculous! Paano na kaya kay Cale? Cale's older than her, obviously. Alam kong nandidiri din si Cale.

"He punched me."

I stopped my tears from falling. Ano na ba ang nangyayari sa pamilya ko?

"W-Why?"

"Remember when I told you last time na nagkasagutan kami ni Brenda? She told me that it's better if huwag ka na daw bumalik. Hindi ko siya pinalampas, Jill. After that, nagsumbong siya ni Dad and she said that I insulted her. Nagalit si Dad sa akin at sinuntok ako," he explained.

My anger and frustration turned into tears. I covered my mouth so that Cale won't hear my sobs.

"Hindi ko maintindahan bakit mas pinapanigan ni Dad si Brenda kaysa sa mga sarili niyang anak. Pwede bang magpaka-tatay muna siya?"

Hindi ako nagsalita.

"I don't have anyone here, Jill. Lumayas ka nang hindi mo man lang ako sinabihan."

Simula nang nagkagulo ang pamilya namin, Cale and I always have each other's back. Kami lang 'yung magkakampi. For me, he's the most important person in the world. I love him kaya't nasasaktan ako lalo nung nalaman ko na sinuntok siya ni Dad.

He doesn't deserve it. Dad should be the one getting punched para magising siya sa katotohanan na nabubulag na siya kay Brenda.

"I'm sorry, Cale. I'm really sorry."

"Wala kang kasalanan, Jill. I understand you. Alam kong napapagod ka na."

I gulped and wiped my tears.

"Babalik ako, Cale. Sasamahan kita diyan. Pwede akong uuwi mamaya or bukas... O kahit ngayon man. I'm sorry for leaving, Cale. I'm... I'm so selfish," I said.

"No. Magpakasaya ka muna diyan, Jill. Meet new friends, travel, or kahit mag-shopping ka man ng sandamakmak diyan, I don't care. Kahit kailan, hindi kita nakitang masaya dito. You need a break from all the mess that's happening here. You can come back when you're ready."

My tears continued to fall.

"How about you? You need a break also," I said.

He sighed.

"I can manage here, Jill. I don't need a break. Itutuon ko ang buong pansin ko sa pag-aaral so that I can have a job and earn from it without asking for Dad's money."

"I want to earn my own money too so that hindi na ako dependent kay Dad. I need to go back there so that I can go to school at mag-aral din ng mabuti," I said.

"Don't stress yourself, Jill. Just do what I said, okay?"

Tumango ako.

"Okay."

"Bibisitahin kita diyan when I have my time. Please be happy, Jill. Kalimutan mo muna ang mga problema natin sa ating pamilya," he said.

Napangiti ako. He's a good brother. I hope he can be happy there too and forget our family's problem just for a while and live like a normal guy who hangs out with his friends or even date someone.

"Sige, Cale. Just text or call me if you do."

"Okay. Take care of yourself, Jill. I love you," he said.

"I love you too, Kuya. Bye."

"Bye."

He hung up and I placed my phone on the table.

I want to be happy here. Dahil hindi ko mararamdaman ang kaligayahan pag bumalik ako sa amin.

Kahit ngayon man lang, sarili ko muna ang iisipin ko. Susundin ko lahat ng gusto ko. I must make my stay here a memorable one.

I grabbed my phone and dialed someone.

"Good morning, Jill!"

I smiled.

"Good morning, Chad! Are you free today? Gala sana tayo. Gusto ko kasing bumawi kahapon," I said.

"Oo naman. What time?"

"How about... Uhm, let's see," I looked at the wall clock. "Is three o'clock okay?"

"Yes. Just call me if you're ready, okay?"

"Sure! Bye, Chad."

"Bye."

I ended the call.

Meet new friends, travel, and enjoy. While I'm in La Uñion, kakalimutan ko muna ang mga problema ko.